Keeping It Spicy

When you first fall in love there’s a frisson of excitement just being near your love. Their very presence is electrifying! New couples often have trouble keeping their hands off each other, while established ones usually never have that problem. With a longer term relationship a great deal of comfort and trust is developed. It’s easy for this to develop into a rote way of being intimate. Sex often happens at the same time, in the same way and excitement disappears. It doesn’t have to be this way, though.

Sex dates
It’s natural for a couple’s life to have routines, and while it doesn’t seem sexy or spontaneous to have dates for sex, it’s still a good idea. That way sex does happen regularly, which maintains your connection as a couple, Best of all, the anticipation can bring back a bit of that longing you had for each other at the beginning.

Independence
Another thing that dulls desire is merging of time and interests, soon every night is spent together and there’s no fresh energies in the relationship. You see the same movies and the same people at the same time and it can get stultifying. Keep your own friends, pursue your own interests and you’ll remain fascinating to your beau (and vice versa). Always being predictable, always willing to please and always available is the kiss of death for passion.

Ask for it
If you’ve been having sex you literally could do in your sleep, it’s time to ask for what you want in bed. For many couples this alone will shake things up a bit. If your level of intimacy is to develop and to deepen, you’ve both got to move out of your comfort zone and that often means expressing an interest in trying something new. Adding a bit of spice will breakup the routine and add new techniques to your repertoire. There are board games for moving sensual touch past established routines, this no-pressure, game-environment is where you can get down to the serious business of play.

Be touchy-feely
Sometimes the demands of a busy life slowly quash the physical spark between two people. To re-ignite it reach out and give your partner a light touch on the shoulder or hip when you pass. This keeps you connected to each other, and creates the feeling of being wanted and loved. Go ahead and grab your partner’s hand for a moment while you get groceries or walk to the car. This can add a little fuel to the fire. Then amp up the volume with kissing – real, focused kissing. Remember the evenings spent just kissing when you first met? Kissing is still just as arousing and exciting but if it’s fallen entirely to the wayside, it’s time to bring it back into play. Pucker up and re-experience some of that infatuating electricity once again.

Seek inspiration
Find some tasteful erotica. There are a lot of options in literature, foreign film and videos that will float your boat but not offend your delicate sensibilities. The nice thing about the Internet is you can find guidance in ways that suit you whether it’s women’s guides to erotica, or Christian guides to keeping your marriage fresh, or bi-curious guides to exploring your curiosity – it’s all out there and available for you to consider from the privacy and safety of your own home.

There are few things more rewarding than rekindling the spark with someone you already love and trust. In fact, the possibilities are thrilling beyond what you can imagine. Give it a go and you’ll see what delights await you.