Sun in Libra

Yin and yang. Bogie and Bacall. Peanut butter and jelly. The importance of balance in relationships seems pretty evident. Yet why do so many of us seem to get balance all wrong?

In order to maintain the delicate balance of romantic relationships, we work hard to create equality, avoid conflict and make compromises. Yet those very efforts may actually be tipping the scales. Here are our a few things to consider in your struggle to find true harmony with the one you love the most.

Balance is not equality
A lot of people think balance is about splitting everything equal down the middle all the time. Whether it comes to chores or sex, each partner has to contribute the same amount for things to be in balance. But in reality, balance is not about each individual aspect of your life together being perfectly symmetrical – it’s matching your weakness and strengths to find balance in the bigger picture. Real balance comes when both partners work earnestly to contribute the most they can to the relationship.

Balance is not avoiding conflict
Often, one partner is so focused on maintaining balance in the relationship that she will do anything to avoid conflict – even sacrificing her own wants and needs in favor of her partner’s. But that shift in power definitely does not equal balance. In fact, by avoiding conflict and constantly allowing your partner’s will to dominate, you create an imbalance that can eventually destroy the relationship. Real balance comes from addressing conflict and working to find solutions together through positive communication.

Balance is not about compromise
Another common misconception is that in order for a couple to feel balanced, they must make constant compromises with each other. While the ability to give and take is certainly important to maintaining harmony, balance is not always about compromise. Sometimes the best way for a couple to find balance is to follow their individual wants and needs. If your boyfriend wants to watch football and you want to see a movie, you could try to find a way to compromise so that you could do both together. But the more balanced approach may actually be to spend the afternoon apart, taking care of your personal needs. Real balance comes from making your relationship one part of a whole, individual life.

While the sun is in Libra, take time to think about how scales really work. You don’t have to put exactly the same thing on each side for them to balance – one side can have feathers and the other side bricks, but if the relationship between the two is just right, the scales will balance. The same is true of people.