Finding Love Online

You can’t predict where you’ll find your heart’s desire, but lots of people discover true love via the Internet. From age 20 to 80, net surfers connect with each other in astonishing numbers. One in three marriages begins online. Mine began online, and I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.

Being recently divorced, I was disillusioned about marriage, and I vowed that I would remain single the rest of my life. But life has a way of turning us around. I was lonely. I knew that my kids were not put here as my rescuers or companions. My friends were married, as were their friends. I felt silly going to clubs and bars. So I spent a lot of time online, for work and for someone to talk to.

One night, late, I was noodling around in a web browser, and I searched for “Internet dating.” Pages of hits scrolled past me. How does one decide where to look for the perfect mate? I wouldn’t settle for less. Idly, not really intending to get involved, I perused sites, reading pitches.

One particular venue made me stop. They guaranteed your perfect mate, and wanted no money. No fees. No obligations. The site’s owner, a young man in Israel, of all places, felt that everyone should have a chance at love. Me too? I read the application.

It went on for pages, with around 200 questions. Yaron, the webmaster, claimed that the more you and your prospective partner knew about each other, the more likely you’d be a good match.

I ticked checkboxes, being scrupulously honest, not caring if I sounded hip or like a deadhead. For no reason, I clicked submit and then went to bed – and forgot about it.

Weeks later, I received an e-mail containing a list of twenty-five suitable men, with the top name, apparently, my most likely match. The top man was the right age, the right political persuasion, and had a lot of attitudes I thought to be important. Not exactly like mine – complementary. Oddly, he lived just 11 miles away.

Well, Dan and I e-mailed for a while, and then had some lovely, warm phone calls. We had the default date, dinner and a movie, and felt really comfortable. Later, he arranged an incredible first real date, taking me to a far-away city for a concert and dinner. I was totally charmed, and so was he, he says now. We married about a year later.

I’m not endorsing any dating site or matchmaker. I’m saying be honest, be 100% yourself, and be prudent. Don’t obsess – just go with it. The right mate is out there, and we’re fortunate enough to have made our world a lot smaller than it used to be. There are just oodles of fish in that big online sea.