A New Prescription for Love

The New Year is coming… do you want a new love? Let’s start with setting the intention — and knowing what you want! What are your Must-Have qualities for a new love?

Gorgeous? Exciting? Talented? Musician? Artist? Mysterious? Makes Heads Turn? Unpredictable? Dangerous? Causes full-on envy in other women?

If so, it’s no wonder your poor little heart gets stomped on! These aren’t qualities – they’re characteristics. And the character answering the above description might be good fun for a short run, but it’ll rarely be a long love. In fact, that list even might be considered a list for potential disaster.

Why?

Happiness in love means being focused on what really matters: spirit, quality, and integrity. If you’re really, truly ready to settle down and to discover the deep rewards of commitment and intimacy – then it’s time to revise that list.

Here is a list of ‘non-negotiable’ qualities for lasting happiness:

Responsible. Kind. Reliable. Honest. Caring. Trustworthy. Supportive.

At first glance it’s not a list that makes the heart pitter-pat, but believe it or not, these are the things that make for a loving, lasting relationship.

It’s time to really ask yourself, are you in the market for dependability and the softer, gentler passions that go with it? Or are you really in the market for excitement and fun? If so, the first list will get you lots of drama, some hot rolls in the hay, and some memories – not all of them good. And the second list will help you find someone who’ll be there, come what may.

However, there’s another essential factor for long-term happiness: does your lover place you above all others? Are you clearly the most important person in your lover’s life? Does your admirer love you truly, madly, deeply? If someone isn’t really crazy for you – they may not make much of a life partner. This isn’t to say that this feeling can’t grow gradually, but if you’re not seeing noticeable, tangible devotion in six to ten months, cut your losses.

If you feel like you have to earn love from your beloved, or prove your love, or demonstrate what a great catch you are, head for the hills. You cannot make someone love you and if you try, you’ll only drive love away. If your lover isn’t crazy about you; you’re crazy to stay. It sounds simple, but when we’re emotionally involved we forget the most basic things. A love is only as good as it is deep. You deserve someone whose feelings for you are just as serious as yours for them!

Best of all, you can extend the same clear, clean logic to anything in life you really want. Make a list of what you desire and then subject it to dispassionate scrutiny. Does it reflect your real values? Is it realistic? Are you being honest with yourself about what you want in your life now?

Sometimes we’re our own best critics and our own best advisers, if we only stop to really examine what we want. Be clear and honest with yourself and you’ll be amazed at what you can create.