Sure! You may both still have feelings for each other, maybe they should not be an old love at all, but a current one! You might have both grown and if there is still an attraction between the two of you, why not. Te only time that might not be wise would be if someone will be hurt or if there was prior abuse. Enjoy! Molly 5442
Gillian #5603
Is it ever advisable to reconnect with a lost love?
In this ever increasing cyberspace we’re living in, social networks are quickly becoming a very common way for people to find one another and connect. It’s fun to see what other people are doing and people are finding old friends and lost loves all the time. So, what’s the danger? How about those in committed relationships searching online for past loves? Can publicly socializing and flirting on line be dangerous? If you are single, the decision is all yours to make. If you are currently in a relationship, you may want to also consider your partner when it comes to befriending old lovers on social
networking sites.
As social networking explodes many relationships will be confronted with a new set of challenges that were virtually nonexistent a few years ago. Married couples would never just casually phone members of the opposite sex for a private conversation or go hang out with them one-on-one. It would be considered inappropriate and unwise to do so. Now many couples will search out and friend past flames on face book and have private chat sessions with each other thinking it is totally harmless. You can chat with your ex-lover on your lap-top while your spouse is in the same room! An innocent exchange can turn into an attraction or even a “Fatal Attraction” very easily. It can be very powerful. If you friend a former lover, even if you are not actively sending them personalized email, you are passively reminding them of your presence with every wall post. Even if you aren’t seeking contact with your former lover, you will passively receive a reminder of their presence every time they post. Can we be trusted to maintain appropriate boundaries? I believe one doesn’t have to have physical sex to be in an affair. An emotional affair results any time that you are communicating intimate feelings, thoughts and life events that are not being shared with your spouse.
We tend to idealize the former relationship and fantasize “what could have been” without realizing that what we have is better than the fantasy. Looking for old loves online can feed our fantasies with the potential development of love, creating erotomania in lots of desperate individuals. These are the people I worry about the most. Due to their loneliness they often misinterpret a little casual flirting as a deep romantic relationship. They have an illusion that they have made a strong connection for a significant long term relationship. The are devastated after the other person moves on, they are can’t understand what has happened to the relationship that never existed in the first place. They are almost impossible to console. This is very sad. Nancy Kalish, author of the book “Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romance,” says that most people begin looking for these lost loves fairly innocently, just for curiosity. In her estimation, these online romances pose the greatest risk to real-world relationships
Is it ever advisable to connect with a “lost love”…..By..Ms Asia ☺
I feel that many of us pine over a lost love. I would feel approximately 50% would consider getting back with an old love. But we are viewing this through a nostalgic lens, the things that went wrong we seem to forget.
You cannot erase your memory, but I feel there are some key issues to think about. What went wrong last time? Do you feel you will be able to communicate and work those issues out? If not discontentment may resurface.
Do you really miss your ex or do you just hate dating? Your ex already knows your favorite movies, and how you like your shoulders rubbed. Getting back together may seem preferable than another awkward first date. One of those dates, however, could blossom into a new relationship.
Remember why you broke up in the first place. If your ex cheated on you or treated you like a doormat, do you really want to sign up for more pain?
Are you trapping yourself with an on-again/off-again relationship? Sustaining a long-term relationship is commendable, but not if it’s replete with multiple breakups. It’s best to stop wasting your time on something that will continue to cause you grief.
I feel there are many things to think about if you do plan on going back. But most importantly you want to make a healthy decision based on what is best for you, not out of loneliness.
Under the right circumstances, reconnecting with a lost love can be a wonderful thing. But before you open your heart fully to that second chance, you have to re-visit, with crystal clarity, why the love was lost in the first place. Was there a difficult situation for one of you, and the timing was wrong for you to be together? Or was it something more painful that got in the way, such as infidelity or addiction? With the passage of time, our memory can soften sharp edges. People often say “forgive and forget”, but it is far better to “forgive and remember”. Take the time to look back at the relationship and see why it ended. Do not confuse physical chemistry with Love, for they are not the same thing. A few moments of honest reflection, and you’ll know whether to chance opening that door again…….or if you’ll be better off keeping that door locked and throwing away the key. Dawn, 9777
Martisse:
Absolutely! There are a number of reasons why this is advisable. First, the Universe is sending you a message that a reconnection is imperative. A few reasons why this is so are: 1) Some sort of closure needs to happen. If you’ve been thinking about your lost love then this means your inner guidance is telling you there is an issue that needs to be healed and resolved. And when the thoughts start to emerge then your inner power is telling you that you are now strong enough to face whatever is in store from the reconnection so that you can move on with your life. Often we have hurts or unresolved issues around a certain person that have been just sitting there “festering”. Closure can come in one of two ways; you will either reconnect and go forth into a romantic relationship, or you will be able to resolve the issue without a romantic reconnection just by looking at it from a more mature and grounded place. 2) When the Universe intervenes and you “accidently” run into the person then you know it is time to reevaluate your feelings concerning this person. Again, the running into the person will mean you are now in a different emotional place and can reconnect romantically or you will be able to come to an emotional closure that will create healing for you.
Regardless of how the reconnection transpires it is all beneficial for you and for your well-being that it has happened. It isn’t because you are holding on to something that isn’t meant to be. It means the Universe has intervened and brought about the circumstances in order for you to be healed.
There are times when lost love should remain in the past but there are times when a “soulmate” or “past life” connection simply steps in. It is better to reconnect as there is unfinshed business. Remember things are ever changing now timing could be right for you and your lost love. Often we see this with couples who were High School sweethearts ect. Remember all love is a leap of faith regardless of the passage of time.
Fallon Ext 5218
Love is never lost, it is eternal. Reconnecting to the past is only good when we wish to learn from it. When we journey into the past it is because we fear the future. We are often reunited with a great love, but it is walking into our our future with an open mind and an open heart which delivers this great love to us in divine time. We never need to lament a “lost love.” Sometimes it is a sample of what is to be when the timing is right. Having more than one “great love” allows us to make an informed decision when we find out our “lost love” was desiring us as much as we were desiring them. This love is timeless.
Brightest Blessings and Wishes, Kelli 5130
Quinn: Reconnection does not mean that you have to get back together. It is nice to reconnect to see if the lost love is doing okay in life.
Sometimes the person is married, getting a divorce, or going through some drama and getting back in touch can be nothing short of a headache.
In this day and age of social networking it is not hard to reconnect with an old love, it is hard however to know what to do after you reconnect. Do you want to see each other, how far apart do you live, and most important how did the relationship end? Over the years I have reconnected with ex lovers, ex husbands and even ex friends, these reconnected relationship seem to have a stale energy to them and do not fit into my life anymore.
Use caution, do not expect anything, that way it is just a nice reconnect, it is what it is.
