Why Self-Love Matters
“Love yourself” might be one of the most commonly given pieces of advice. Unfortunately, it also falls into the category of things that are easy to say and hard to do. A focus on self-love is linked to improvement in setting boundaries, the capacity to love and express love for others, and an increased sense of well-being. The goal is to work toward having a sense of love or, according to Merriam-Webster, a “warm attachment, enthusiasm, and devotion,” for yourself. And ideally, you want to work toward feeling this for yourself at all times, even, or maybe especially, at your lowest. Keep in mind, self-love does not mean feeling positively towards yourself at all times. Sometimes self-love means an honest appraisal of your shortcomings and compassionate acceptance of your imperfection. Again, this is not easy. The following 30-day challenge is exactly that, a challenge, that will push you to express and integrate a love for yourself.
The Challenge
Day 1
Tune in to your self-talk. The way you talk to yourself shapes the way you feel about and think of yourself. If you catch yourself speaking to yourself in a way that you would not speak to someone else you love, gently apologize and correct yourself the way you would if you mistakenly spoke to someone else that way.
Day 2
Journal for 30 minutes. Write about three things you think you do well and three things you think you don’t do well. Spend time celebrating those things you do well and try to offer yourself grace around the things you don’t do well.
Day 3
Go for a walk or sit and look out a window while listening to some good music. Changing up your scenery and enjoying a good soundtrack are two simple things that can really lift your spirits. Part of loving yourself is investing in making yourself feel good.
Day 4
Make some art. Paint, draw, sing, dance, color in a coloring book, play a musical instrument, recite a favorite poem aloud, or make a piece of jewelry. Pick an art form and engage in it. Make space to express yourself artistically.
Day 5
Start a playlist. Any song that makes you feel loving toward yourself goes on the playlist. It’s fine if you can only think of one or two, you can always add more later. When you’re having a hard time loving yourself, turn on this playlist!
Day 6
Be intentional about your outfit. Spend some extra time when getting dressed, to think about clothes that make you feel good. Accessories, shoes, socks, even your hair. Put together a complete ensemble that makes you feel stellar!
Day 7
Find a reason to laugh. Put on a funny movie or comedy special, call up a friend and tell a funny story, or play a game that often leads to laughter. It’s a cliche because it’s true, laughter is the best medicine.
Day 8
Make a vision board. Think about what motivates you and what goals you are aiming for (short-term and long-term). Then, employing whichever medium(s) you enjoy or have handy (use images or text from magazines, pictures, stickers, markers, paint, etc.) make a collage that captures those motivating feelings and ideas. Put your vision board up on a wall and let it become a beacon of inspiration as you navigate yourself toward your goals.
Day 9
Eat something you love. Enjoy every single bite.
Day 10
Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Ask how they’re doing and share the highlights from your life. Remind yourself that you are an important part in a web of giving and receiving support.
Day 11
Take a bath. If getting in the bath is not your thing, soak your feet or your hands. Add bubbles, oils, or salts if you so desire. Let your body rest and relax.
Day 12
Spend an hour in nature. If you can’t get outside, put on a nature documentary. Remind yourself of the beauty of the planet and your existence here.
Day 13
Cook or try new food. Nourish yourself with newness.
Day 14
Put on some music that makes you feel like moving your body and get to it. Remind yourself of the joy of moving to music.
Day 15
Write a letter to your younger self. Focus on things you have accomplished that seemed impossible to you in the past. Give your younger self some inspiration for the future.
Day 16
Apply lotion to your whole body. Take your time.
Day 17
Go out of your way to do something kind for someone. Acts of kindness feed into a cycle of feeling good about making others feel good.
Day 18
Catch the sunrise or the sunset. Let yourself watch leisurely. Breathe, watch, and take it in.
Day 19
Give yourself a break from your phone. Challenge yourself. Can you go for an hour? What about two? three? How do you feel when the break is over?
Day 20
Listen to something new. Maybe it’s a podcast, a song, a poet, or an audiobook. Find something new to listen to and get into it.
Day 21
Sleep in. Rest is crucial for re-fueling while you are doing the hard work of loving yourself.
Day 22
Practice saying no. Brainstorm some actual phrases you can use when you want to say no but are uncomfortable. Protecting your time and energy is an important step in loving yourself.
Day 23
Write a compliment to yourself on a sticky note and put it on your mirror. Read it to yourself whenever it catches your eye.
Day 24
Start something that you’ve been procrastinating on. Whether you finish or not, celebrate that you got started.
Day 25
Revisit a childhood hobby. Let the nostalgia wash over you. Marvel at how things are different or similar now to how they were when you were a kid. You are a unique person with distinct interests and you always have been.
Day 26
Declutter something. Pick a specific space like a drawer, a desk, a purse/bag, the console of your car, a bookshelf, etc., and make it your own again. Throw away the trash, clean or dust it, arrange the things you keep intentionally there. When you are finished, congratulate yourself and let it serve as a reminder that you are capable, and your space is important.
Day 27
Do your best to stay hydrated. Make hydration a top priority.
Day 28
Watch one of your favorite movies. Let the joy of the story hold your focus for a few hours without distractions.
Day 29
Journal for 30 minutes about pride. What have you done that you are proud of? What does pride in yourself feel like in your body? Do you ever talk about being proud of yourself out loud? Why or why not? How often do you feel proud of yourself? How often do you revisit times you have felt proud of yourself in the past?
Day 30
Look at yourself in the mirror and say aloud, “I love you.” As many times as you need.
Self-Love is a Journey, Not a
Destination
Congratulations on committing to work on loving yourself for 30 days. Whether you were able to complete the challenge at the rate or to the level you originally aimed for, your commitment to undertaking this challenge is a huge cause for celebration. Wanting and working to love yourself is major. Do your best to make that a consistent undercurrent that you return to when you are able. The journey is the destination.
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