Some Relationships Are More Challenging Than Others
During our lives, the relationships in which we find ourselves are spiritual assignments. I wish I could take credit for this amazing idea, but it is the foundation for many inspirational texts. What it means is that in every relationship we encounter, there is the potential for spiritual growth and awareness. The universe brings certain people to us because by meeting them, we can learn lessons about ourselves, and more clearly define our purpose in life. Some of these relationships may be more challenging than others, but in the end, everyone we meet has something to teach us. And one of the most important relationships, and occasionally one of the most difficult, is the relationships we have with our siblings.
Petty Arguments Could Lead to Long Periods of No Communication
I found this out recently, after a reading I did with a client who hadn’t spoken with her sister for over five years. Everyone else in her immediate family was frustrated because, in their estimation, the reason the sisters were fighting was petty and could easily have been resolved. My client felt offended by something that her sister said at a cousins’ wedding, and her sister was outraged by the words she said in response. Because this occurred in front of other people, both sisters felt publicly humiliated. As a result of this argument and two sisters’ silence, family gatherings were awkward, and people felt the need to take sides. It was beginning to tear the family apart. This conflict was particularly distressing because the two had been extremely close growing up. My client made it clear: she refused to move on until she got the apology she felt she deserved.
I consulted my guides and began our reading together. The Four of Coins was the very first card I turned over, a clear indication that the situation was stagnant, and later I saw both the Queen of Wands and the Queen of Coins upside down. I could see from the Ace of Cups, also reversed, that the two sisters still loved each other and that this fight was causing them great sorrow. In astrology, we understand astrological signs by different designations. She and her sister shared the same “quality” of sign, meaning they were both fixed signs (her sister Leo and she Taurus). This informed me that neither one of them was likely to budge any time soon. Her sister was dealing with Leo pride and my client felt that her sister had betrayed the thing most important to her (and every Taurus) – loyalty. With the Page of Coins upside down, I realized that this argument was going to last awhile.
Siblings Are in Our Lives For A Reason
I explained to her that her sister was in her life for a reason and that if she considered their entire relationship, and not just what had upset her, she would see that her sister had supported her most of her life. We discussed why it was hard for her to forgive, that at times she had been envious of her sister and that her sister’s criticism of her had been painful. We finally reached a point where she understood that despite still feeling a little angry, she wanted her sister back into her life.
I share this story here because I hope it helps us appreciate why our siblings are so important to us, why our relationships with them matter. We are born into our families of origin because of the lessons we are meant to learn, and many times it is our siblings who push our buttons the most. Again, this might always be easy, but if we try as often as possible to work together and forgive, our siblings can be some of the most important teachers in our lives.
The Longest Relationships We Have in Life Are with Siblings
In most cases, our relationship with our siblings is the longest we have had. This means that while they know what we like, they also know what drives us crazy! We build better relationships with them by seeing them through a spiritual perspective. When things get difficult, ask yourself: What am I meant to learn from my brother? What has he contributed to my life since he was born? Usually, that contribution hasn’t changed since you were kids, although there are variations once you both become adults. Think about what makes that relationship special; usually, it is a shared family history and valuable memories.
Communicate with Your Siblings Often
Communicate with your siblings often. A call on a birthday or during the holidays if you aren’t together can make a huge difference in keeping that bond strong. Take some time to visit or plan vacations together, with your families or perhaps just a sibling outing – an extended weekend where the brothers and sisters get to talk, catch up or air out differences. Look through family albums together. Take a moment to talk about ancestors and old friends. Every family has some story about an older relative that everyone remembers of family myths and folklore. Often, there is one sibling who carries the family legend and legacy or remembers exactly how Mom made the dumpling dish or the coconut cake that everyone loved. Don’t wait until an emergency happens to get in touch. Keep those bonds strong all year long. Siblings are often very intuitive with each other, especially twins. If you think, “I feel I ought to call Susan today, but there just isn’t time,” leave a message or a text and say, “Thinking about you, let’s check in this weekend.” Just a loving thought can mean so much.
Finally, if there is ancient history and you find you can’t move past it, remember my client. When she called her sister and apologized for her part in the fight and then they had a conversation about the day in question and realized there had been a misunderstanding over what had been said. In the end, they deeply regretted the five years they had wasted not being together.
Every Relationship is Sacred
Whether you feel you’ve been blessed by having a sibling, or cursed by having one, remember that every relationship we have is sacred. There are times when we may need to take a break, but if we are holding on to something petty, fighting like we did when we were kids over “nothing,” it is probably time to forgive.
Pick up the phone and make that call. A better relationship with our siblings often means a better relationship with ourselves.
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