Finding Closure in Dreams

Diana in Oshawa, Canada writes:

In my dream, I see my deceased husband sitting in the bleachers. I have died, leaving a pile of clothes behind. I look down, thinking, I’m now gone, so I don’t have to think of those left behind. Someone above tells me it’s okay to choose a partner, so I pick my husband. In real life, it has been three-and-a-half years since he died suddenly. I miss him deeply, and had no closure because we separated three months before he died, after 26 years together. We loved each other deeply. It’s such a long story . . .

Hello Diana,

I’m sorry you never had any closure with your husband before he died. That can leave an enormous hole in one’s heart. It’s interesting that you took the viewpoint of the deceased in your dream. The clothing you left behind is a reminder that you can leave behind your feelings of grief, guilt, pain–whatever you’re feeling–and move on, similar to someone who has died leaves behind their old life.

That’s probably what your husband has done: released the negativity between you so that only the love remains. Forgiveness is the key. If you can forgive your husband for any pain he caused you, while forgiving yourself for the pain you caused him, you’ll have closure without him having to be there with you. You can also speak to him and ask for closure. You might not hear a response (unless it’s in a dream), but he will hear you. Most important, he knows you love him. Nothing else matters.

Sweet dreams,

Cortney