10 Dating Don’ts

In the dating world where technology has both expanded the opportunities for love and for mistakes, offering up infinite choices, there are still some basic rules of dating.

1. Dating a Friend’s Ex. It’s never okay to hook up with a friend’s ex without checking with them first. Whether it’s been a year or a few days, if you are a real friend, you will give your friend the courtesy of vetoing this course of action. Even if your friend seems over their ex, you don’t need to start a new relationship with bad karma.

2. Drinking on the First Date. We all get nervous, and alcohol can loosen up your inhibitions, but getting drunk on a first date can advance the relationship into an area you never intended and end it before it even gets a chance to take root.

3. Dating History. As Renee Zellweger’s Dorothy character said to Tom Cruise’s Jerry Maguire “let’s not share our sad stories.” She was right. There is no need to lament and go into massive details about your past relationships. Focus on the person you are with instead of going to a negative place that will quickly lose the other person’s interest.

4. Turn Off the Technology! When you are on a date you should be present. Turn your cell phone to vibrate if you can’t turn it off completely. Pay attention to the person who wants to explore who you are instead of texting every moment of your date. If you don’t have time to pay attention to a date because of a work, babysitting or health issue, then reschedule it. No one wants to feel like they are second to you checking in on social media updates.

5. Suspend Your Deal Breakers. Get to know a person before you decide that a difference in opinion or lifestyle is a deal breaker. First figure out if you are attracted to them and you want to know them more.

6. Don’t Make Decisions Based on a Collection of Opinions. If you are trying to decide whether to give someone another chance or break-up, you need to listen to your own heart, not a collection of opinions. Only you know how you really feel about another person. Why leave your love life up to someone else?

7. Declaring Feelings Too Early. It might be natural and easy with someone you just started dating. The sparks at the beginning of a relationship are very powerful. There’s no need to declare your intentions of solidifying a marriage proposal two or three dates in, if you want it to go any further. It’s too frightening and too much pressure for a man or a woman.

8. Avoid Being a Conversation Hog. When you dominate the conversation, it shows a lack of interest in the other person. Make sure that if you’ve just told a story, you give your date a chance to share a story with you. If you’re not interested in listening to their story, you’re not interested in them, and should end the date. Call your mother instead, because she loves every minute you talk to her about your life.

9. Lie. If you pretend to be someone or like something you do not and you end up with this person, you will have to stick to what you said. If you are not seriously interested in someone but then wind up dating them and having a relationship, those lies will come back to haunt you.

10. Dumping Your Friends for Your New Love Interest. If you get so wrapped up in the person you are dating for five minutes that your friends are ready to put out a missing person’s report, take a step back. You need to maintain some balance in your life and have interests outside of a relationship.

What are your tips on what NOT to do on a date?