Sweat the Small Stuff
It may seem like a small thing, but small things can add up. There are fifteen small annoyances that can grow into much bigger relationship problems over time:
1. Lack of Creativity
A mate who forgets how to look at the world from the standpoint of a child’s curiosity is one who may never truly find interest in who you are. They will not share your dreams or goals, and when it comes time to take hands and make plans for the next stage in your lives, you will find you’re standing all alone.
2. No Sense of Humor
Without laughter, there is no humility. People who can’t laugh at themselves, are very difficult to live with, as they see their path in life as one long, straight course. Having the ability to laugh gives us a break from the hardship, which allows us to be healthier, more rested, and better able to cope with life’s greatest challenges.
3. Scolds in Public
Anyone who scolds a partner in public is not only disrespectful, they are also most likely seeking to control their relationships through embarrassment and guilt.
4. Always an Excuse
Some people always seem to have an excuse. No matter what happens, they are constantly blaming someone or something else for why they failed to meet expectations. Owning up to our mistakes is one of the first steps towards forgiveness. If a partner refuses to admit they do things wrong, they will never take the time to learn how to do them right.
5. Chronically Late
A partner who is never on time is saying, in a passive aggressive way, that you’re just not as important as you thought you were. If you were to explain to your partner how important it is they come through for you, and they still let you down, you can probably look forward to continued disappointment for the rest of your time with them.
6. Insecure
Mothering a dating partner who is unsure about themselves is exhausting and unproductive. We can never offer our love to someone who believes they don’t deserve it, as it only ends up wasted and non-reciprocated.
7. Never Keeps Promises
It’s hard to believe in someone who won’t follow through on what they say they’re going to do. Never accept a promise from a partner who already has a poor track record. If they are willing to change, you will see it in their actions, not their words.
8. Obsessive Personality
Being obsessed with anything can become a negative trait, whether it’s porn, sports, vegetarianism, or sitting in front of the boob tube night after night. It is one thing to accept someone for their obsessions, but entirely something else to live with them.
9. No Passion
The excitement behind life’s untold story is one of the most essential elements to happiness.
10. No Opinion
A partner who never has an opinion can get awfully boring. “I don’t know,” “What do you want to do,” “Where do you want to go?” Some people want others to guide them through life, so they don’t have to face the responsibility of making their own choices. One adult is more than enough for most of us to be responsible for.
11. Mr./Mrs. Competitive
Some immature partners see the world as one giant competition. Our chosen mate is meant to be our lifelong ally, but when our lives become just one contest after another, you’ll never reach your full potential without sabotaging your home team in the process.
12. Sees Arguments as a Win-Lose Proposition
A partner who sees value in winning an argument over settling for compromise, will never accept anything other than getting their way.
13. Temper
Bad tempers are dangerous and unhealthy. A mate who is always angry, is really aggravated with themselves, but since they can’t seem to direct this attention where it belongs, their loved ones will be the ones who will suffer.
14. Inflexible
One thing about life, is we can’t count on much of anything ever being the same. Partners who are inflexible are incapable of compromise, understanding, and changing course when it’s needed.
15. Your Instincts Say No
Sometimes we can’t put our finger on why we don’t feel comfortable with someone, so we hang on hoping things will change. Intuition can pick up on things long before conscious reasoning. Trust your instincts.
5 thoughts on “15 Dating Deal Breakers”
4,8,13 i believe are my failings and i think the downfall of my marriage to a woman who was insightful enough to see it and make a change , maybe if i had we might still be together.
This post is a in effect admissible article. Lossing worth is benificial seeking your well-being and happiness.
What a great list. I always enjoy reading articles like this to keep my awarness up to par and learn a thing or two.
This now becomes my list on things to work on. Ok, so I don’t know what to ask people to get to know them, but I’m big on criticizing in public and it drives me nuts that I do that! But I keep thinking I won’t be heard, I won’t make an impact unless I embarrass my loved one. Very controlling. I’ve been chronically late since having my baby… 18 YEARS AGO. I could probably go down every one of these. Looks like I have more growing to do than I’d like.
Thank you SO much for this article.
Uhm, thanks for the insight, Rose.
On another note 😀 Eric, I love your stuff. Seems like you are the male counterpart to the way I see the world. For me, 4, 5 and 6 are the biggest deal breakers; not just in the dating world, but also in the friendship world. People with these traits drive me insane. Great to see that others see it the same way!