The Healthy Give-and-Take
Being a giving partner is an important part of a loving relationship. But partnerships need to have give and take in order to be healthy. If all you do is give, give, and give some more, your union will feel one-sided. And you’ll certainly feel depleted as a result of all the energy you spend trying to please your other half, without getting anything in return. Here are three signs your relationship is in need of rebalancing. See if yours fits these characteristics and how you can make changes to create a more equal partnership.
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1. Your Partner Doesn’t Appreciate Your Gestures
Do you always make sure the fridge is full of their favorites foods? Are you always cleaning and folding their laundry? Do they take care of you the same way? Perhaps they wash your car without you asking or run your errands so you can relax at home? If you go above and beyond for each other, you have an equal partnership. However, if you’re the only one doing nice things for them, your equilibrium is off. If your kind gestures get overlooked and if they take for granted how thoughtful you are, it’s time to have a talk about gratitude (or the lack thereof). Make sure that the things you do for them are what they actually want. If not, you need to take a look at why you give it to them anyway.
2. Your Partner Doesn’t Do Nice Things for You
As I mentioned before, kind gestures should go both ways in an equal partnership. But if your partner doesn’t make a habit out of doing nice things for you, you may be wondering why. This doesn’t make them cold-hearted or incapable of love—it may just be a matter of not understanding your love language.
Your love language is doing nice things for your partner to show them you love them. However, your partner’s love language may be something entirely different. Maybe they show their love through words or physical affection—one language is not better than the other! But, if they used to do nice things for your too, and they no longer do it, your equilibrium is off.
3. You’re Starting to Resent Them
If your relationship lacks equilibrium, you’re going to get fed up. You’re probably also going to feel sad that your partner doesn’t seem to appreciate or return your gestures. If this is the case, it’s time to have a heart-to-heart with your significant other—he or she may be totally blind to the fact that the give-and-take of your union lacks equilibrium. Or, he or she may be having doubts about your relationship. When one person is doing all the giving, and annoyance or insult begins to creep in, it means that they are not getting their needs met. And while a relationship doesn’t need to be completely even to be healthy, a strong, happy bond does require that both people are feeling satisfied by the other. Talking out your frustrations will likely reveal the root cause of the issue.
So what do you think? Do you and your partner have an equal partnership? Let me know in the comments below.
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11 thoughts on “3 Signs You Don’t Have an Equal Partnership”
I was in a bad relationship where he was a womanizer. I didn’t know it at first but I started catching him in lies. I’m a good woman I’m not perfect but I wanted to be treated the way I treated my partner and I didn’t get that in return. I gave a lot and even when I didn’t have it. I put his needs and feelings before mines. It’s hard to trust again. We have users and losers within woman and men. I’m learning how to stand up for myself and what I believe in and what I want out of a long, healthy, trustworthy relationship and all the aboves.
Time to take a step back so that he can evaluate the situation. Chances are..he is not worthy of you. His loss is someone else gain.
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Yes I also can relate it fits my life to the t.
My partner and I do not have an equal partnership for sure. I can relate to the description above. I have also talked about my concerns and feelings with no avail or changes.
It might help you to know I am 85 yrs old so your advice so far is slightly off. I have no interest in a relationship & am ok living by myself. Thanks
My husband is always trying to tell me how to spend my money that I’m trying to save up for an emergency for me not for him.
Im dating someone on line ( Anderson Dunn Schultz ) for a year now and I love him now, but I am still in doubt with him. Do I trust him?
No I always go out of the way to give her nice things and try to make me feel like that’s what I suppose to do every Time we get chance to talk about some of the things I am not happy with she gets an attitude start a argument and walk off we have been married for 25 years and she won’t let me touch her sexual after about 5 years into the marriage she just shut down on me with no explanation I have been asking what is wrong I don’t know if she cheated and fought something or it’s some one else but do good to have sex once a year but for the last few years it’s been nothing I have remained faithful for Christmas I bought her a computer tablet two weeks later for her birthday I bought her lap top with a wireless printer she buy me the something all the time a cheap pair of church shoes less than 20.00 and I suppose to be ok with it I always go out my no matter what and she thinks I just should be ok with with it even though we are in a sexless relationship and she’s always running her mouth to her mom and sister
Willie B Johnson Jr,
That’s really sad to read what you have written. It sounds like you truly love your wife. But it also seems as though your being taken for granted which is not a good sign what so ever.
I can’t imagine the heartbreak that you must feel all the questions with yet no answers. It is necessary for you and your wife to have a heart to heart deep conversation, no one should be made to feel like they don’t matter especially a husband and wife.
If neither one can sit down and talk about your feelings without running away, then maybe you need to rethink everything including your marriage. Don’t forget when both of you said your vows it was for better or worse but sometimes we don’t see it that way.
Trust in your Heavenly Father that he sees all and hears all.
Turn to him if your feeling like no one else is listening.
Be Blessed
We use to
But this other woman has him under a spell he don’t do anything don’t come home or call me..
Equality in a relationship, with people who are inadvertently takers… *sigh
It’s kinda becoming main stream, a friend of mine, his girlfriend asked,” my man doesn’t want a mommy ” I found it to be a childish statement. Who wouldn’t want to show acts of random kindness to the individuals whi we love and care about and have that in return?
It’s a very good article for people to consider, thank you