Guaranteed Ways to Ruin Your Romance
While there are no surefire rules to making a relationship work, there are five sets of rules that if you break them, they may end your relationship. The following relationship killers should be avoided at all costs – and if they do arise, they must be dealt with ASAP, otherwise the consequences will be lasting… and lethal.
Disrespect
Sure, it’s normal to be frustrated and even occasionally angry with your mate. However, if you don’t know how to communicate clearly and kindly, but rather fall victim to the old traps of name calling and threats, your pairing is in perilous condition. Rather than giving into the impulse to yell or insult your partner, work on expressing your feelings in a calm, concise manner without interrupting. Showing each other respect verbally will help you work through conflict without killing each other – or your relationship.
Resentments
Issues are bound to arise in any relationship. However, if you always keep your problems to yourself (from being irritated by your partner’s messiness to feeling as if they’re paying too much attention to work or friends and not enough to you), you’re not keeping the peace or avoiding conflict, you’re allowing a wound to fester. This leads to built up resentment that will find a way out – in your tone, in your passing comments or in your actions. If something is bothering you, bring it up and talk it out so you can let it go and move forward with an open heart and clean conscience.
Money
It’s not just currency, it’s energy. And we all have different ways of dealing with it. If you and your partner haven’t already, sit down and talk about how you each view and value money and what your goals are. If you have any discrepancies or concerns, voice them and come up with a plan to compromise. Otherwise, you’re bound to find yourselves at odds at some point – with no guidelines for resolution.
“Reasons money causes anxiety for both men and women include elements of control as well as issues with self worth, which is reflected in a sense of not feeling deserving, worthy, or lacking thereof.” – Giovanna ext. 5214
Boredom
Naturally things get tired over time. However, if your romantic life goes to sleep for too long – or, heaven forbid, dies altogether – you can consider your relationship as good as dead too. People need variety to spice up their lives. And if you find yourselves sitting on the couch night after night with little of interest to share, eventually one of you is going to get up and both of you are bound to give up. Foster individual lives so that you each have something to bring to the table – then make sure to get out and have new experiences together, lest the doldrums take over and you wind up dealing with the ultimate relationship killer:
Infidelity
It’s easy to understand why people cheat. But it’s still hard to get over. Broken trust is broken trust and repairing a bond that has been shaken can take a very long time. Better to address the problems that lead a person to be unfaithful before it happens – and avoid this pitfall altogether.
“Keep your partner happy by being happy yourself.” – Blythe ext. 5339
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19 thoughts on “5 Relationship Killers”
WHEN ONE ACCEPTS—BECAUSE OF A MISGUIDED FEELING OF LOVE OR FOR WHATEVER OTHER REASON–ONE OF THESE BEHAVIOURS, A PART OF YOU DIES; YOU CAN’T HELP But REACT AND BECOME A PERSON YOU ARE NOT OR never wanted TO BE. i still contend that happy aloneness is far superior to lonely togetherness.
all of them are true.. he always disrespects me.. but i still lovce him 🙁 we broke up because of a third party.. im so stupid because i still love him
Yes,.She disrespects me for various reasons,..When i’m frustrated i raise my voice due to a lack of fullfilled expectations. I only have one expectation, get a job and be responsable for yourself. I resent her for not taking action in this regaurd,..As a default i pay for everything including her bills. I’m going broke as a result. Which allows me to further disrespect her and resent her.
She promisses that she will make money with her computor. when she can’t she begins to feel worthless..and I see no value in our relationship. Other then sex!
I was never brought up this way,..my mother tought me to respect women. I’m growing bored at the fact that nothing is changing and I fear nothing will change. She will not bow out politely and I feel very guilty about the prospect of throwing her out.
Sadly,.. I feel that all is about lost and my only way out is to cheet.
So there is your anwser,..as to WHY people cheet. Four out of five relationship killers are alive and well in my life. May as well go fo for broke.
I’ve been married for twenty one years – theres never really been any earth shattering issues other than, i’m frugal & she’s careless and selfish with money but as time has gone by i’ve kinda mellowed out a little and she smartened up a bit. Theres never really been any resentments of one another or any disrespect for each other, never been any infidelity issues. I quickly became bored after our marriage and she has grown bored ( probabley in response of my boredom ) but after 21 years and a life we have built together we wouldn’t seperate – it would kill her ( figurativley speaking of course ) and THAT would kill me ( figurativley speaking of course ).
Agree completely all the five reasons do contirbuteand and behind ending a relationship.
Totally agree with Elise and these are good reasons why to leave a guy who will threaten you or disrespect you specially cheat and talk about it like she was the best thing ever, she walked away after he fell for her. Ha
I had everything in one relationship. We both had money and infidelity issues. I didn’t communicate when I felt something was wrong causing resentment and was bored. He disrespected me, my family, my friends, and my religious affiliation and was smothering. In retrospect we shouldn’t have lasted 4 years. How we did is beyond me.
I had all of them in one relationship. I was bored. We both had money and fidelity issues. I never communicated when I felt something was wrong. He disrespected my friends family me and my religious affiliation. On top of that he was smothering. How we lasted 4 years is beyond me.
i agree on the boredom issue went weith a guy that he would drink beer and other stuff and would always be in the garage,while i would watch tv and wait till he would come inside,sometimes it would be late at night.When he would then decide to do it was what he wanted to do.Girls keep your friends and occupy your time with them,they will always be there.
I wou;d agree with Gina Rose that smothering is toxic and unhealthy, its like having your emplyer sat opposite you all day NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, we all need space to chill and thrill.
Yes, I agree with Jim about the statement it’s easy to understand if someone cheats. When you are the loyal one and you were cheated on, it becomes an entirely different perspective. No matter how bored I would ever get and believe me I do get bored with my partner too, I would under no circumstance cheat on him. Unfortunately, he didn’t respect me in the same regard. I am a Dog in the Chinese Astrology and they are loyal.
Pardon me for sensing one sided male overtones. Many a time the woman has to look after the children, clean the house, maintain the yard etc. Meanwhile (later in the day) while poor mum is still on her tired legs trying to cook dinner the man of the house is in his room playing x box comfortably sitting on his rear end (and he`s nearly 40). A little thankyou now and then would go along way with a few less orders, wise cracks and sarcasm thrown in. Oh I forgot to mention the afternoon interogation that pops up regularly. Am I still supposed to still feel like getting intimate? Do all men end up like this?
I would like 2 know who my true love is,,is his name walter…
You forgot one that I see frequently…..smothering, which also borders on disrespect and insecurity.
When you love someone, you also need to respect their need for space sometimes.
Everybody has times when they need ” alone ” time, but if you can’t give that person space , now & then, don’t blame them…..take a good look within yourself to ask why that is. Now, I don’t mean long periods of time….I said now and then, reasonable periods of time .
Great advice in this article. One thing I would have added would be connected to the entry concerning boredom. Sometimes fostering individual lives causes jealousy, even though unfounded, in one partner and causes problems. I guess that would lead to another entry on selfishness. Im wondering how to convince your partner to accept my having my own individual life so we dont get bored with each other from spending so much time together. When your only outlet is work, you begin to feel trapped, not a good feeling.
I want to thank you for this brilliant advice, i want to assure you that these five piece s of advice have created an impact in my relationship. I appreciate so much i hope to keep reading
I find it rather difficult to fathom why in the final ponit relating to infidelity the opening remark is … It’s easy to understand why people cheat. Who would make such a statement? Obviously someone who hasn’t been cheated on. Hard to get over … indeed precisely because in many cases it is totally unexpected. I know for most people it’s huge shock. So to say that it’s easy to understand certainly does not apply to most cases of infidelity. At best it may apply to a very small number of cases where the behaviour of one of the partners is so “out of line that it will eventually lead for one to cheat … but to say it’s the norm is grossly overstated.
I REALLY ENJOYED READING THE 5RELATIONSHIP KILLERS.ITS ALL TRUE AND I HAVE EXPERIENCES AS SUCH AND THE RELATION HAS IMPROVED TREMENDOUSLY.
THANK U FOR THE PIECE OF ADVICE
Totally agree a lot of reasons I just ended my relationship.