Have You Fallen for These Relationship Myths?
Relationship myths are a dime a dozen and the fact is, we all fall for them. One person’s warm and fuzzy myths—sharing forks, waking up next to the same person for the rest of their life, finishing each other’s sentences, etc.—is another person’s nightmares. They’d rather have the whole bed to themselves. They’d rather not share their food. They’d rather complete their own sentences… But the truth is, relationships are not black and white. They’re actually as unique as the people in them. Here are five common relationship myths that you’ve most likely believed and why you should stop believing them starting now.
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The Guy Pays for Everything
Many women expect the men they’re dating to pay for everything when they go out. Is he your partner or is he your sugar daddy? Sure, there are guys who insist on paying for everything because they consider it an act of chivalry, but it’s wrong for a woman to expect (or demand) them to. If you’ve got a job and can afford to go out, at least reach for the bill when it comes. Pay half, and even treat your guy to a meal more than once in a great while. It’s a thoughtful gesture, but more importantly, it shows that you’re an equal partner in your relationship.
The Sex Gets Boring
A lot of people don’t want a long-term relationship because they think the sex gets boring. Well if you do it the same way every time, it’ll get boring no matter whom you’re with. But you don’t have to do it the same way every time. You can try new locations, new positions and new toys. And if you’re in an open relationship, you can always mix it up with new partners. If your sex life is boring, it’s because you let it get that way.
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You Can Let Yourself Go
In the early stages of a relationship, everyone puts a lot of effort into looking their best. They may go to the gym often, keep up with their personal grooming or watch what they eat. But as the months and years go by, there is a tendency to get lazy. Maybe you’ve stopped going to the gym. Maybe he lets his toenails grow out and they’re cutting your legs in bed. Think about it: Would you have given him a second look if you knew he peed with the door open or walked around in the same underwear for days? And would you have let him see you pluck chin hairs in front of the television all those months or years ago? I’m guessing not. So let’s keep a little mystery in your relationship and make an effort to maintain your appearance.
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You Can’t Have Guy Friends
You should never have to choose between your friends and your mate—even if you’re friends with men. Women and men can be friends and as long as your guy friends aren’t trying to undermine your romantic relationship, everything should be fine. If your partner is feeling insecure, don’t dismiss his feelings. Instead, talk about why he feels the way he does. And make sure he meets your guy friends. Whatever fears are rolling around is his mind about your guy friends can be soothed by actually meeting them. I’m sure they’re not as handsome, as successful and as funny as your guy imagines them to be.
You Eventually Have to Get Married
I’ve actually heard men say that they proposed to their girlfriends because they felt like they had to get married in order to continue to be with them after dating a few years. They didn’t take the time to consider if these women would make good wives, partners or mothers. Marriage just seemed like the next “logical” step. There truth is there is no statute of limitations on dating. You can date a person for years—even decades—and not be obligated to marry them. If you don’t want to get married, don’t, but make sure your partner doesn’t want to get married either. But if you do want to get married, make sure your partner wants the same thing and then you both can agree on when to get engaged.
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It’s All Up to You
When it comes to relationships, you write the rules. I don’t care what your parents or your friends say—it’s your life to live and no one else’s. Don’t avoid companionship and intimacy because you think you have to do it a certain way in order for it to be “right.” Love is as much about feeling as it is about action. If the way you structure a romantic relationship feels right to you, you’re doing it right!
11 thoughts on “5 Relationship Myths You Should Stop Believing Right Now”
I agree with Colette. If I cannot expect a man to care for me, including financially, why bother?? I mean, a woman and a man can’t decide which will give birth to a baby. The woman ALWAYS does that which usually means her earning capacity is diminished. Thus, if she feels like she shouldn’t ‘expect’ anything from him, it puts her and the children, for that matter, in a vulnerable position. That is just one issue with this post among the many issues that I have…. sigh….. If this is what relationships have devolved into, I am glad I am not single…..
Interesting points, Dania, which also resulted in some very interesting comments from the readers.
I think the most important point in your article is that the focus of or ‘rules’ for any relationship should be agreed upon solely by the parties involved in that relationship.
We are all unique individuals and it makes sense that our relationships would also be unique entities. What works for some does not work for everyone and it is important to know what works for us and then get out there and create it.
Brightest blessings,
Seren, Ext 5445
If I am in a relationship,, not my choice to experiment with other people,,,ONE woman man..
Been with the same man 11 years & don’t want 2 get married. Don’t know if he does although I wear is ring most of the time. My mom is very ill & I have plans once she dies will b moving 2 Florida & he knows this & not asking him 2 go with me. he is not happy with this but tis my choice & told him if he is n-happy about my plans then we should not b 2 gether any longer!
Says he loves me though & stays. Now this is his choice.
We have never lived together the 1st few years great but then 4 me I grew apart from him but love him just NOT n love with him. He knows this also. I am NOT a person 2 BS any 1 & I don’t play or lie.
dear mam
me read yous few line very intrusted points highlighted i agreed with you
Dear Dania, this was a nice try but since our whole lives are mythical lies passed on
from one generation to another, it won’t do. How about approaching relationships from
another angle, like how unique we all are and therefor our relationships are as well.
People may want to try finally entering relationships without expectations but for the
simple joy of sharing themselves with another human being no matter where it might
take them. If our lives are a journey then our relationships are as well. right?
If you guys are interested in me writing some interesting insights into the possibility
of living mystical lives, i.e. lives that evolve from our personal experience and as
a divine dance, please let me know. All the best to all 🙂
I have been dating this man for over a year we have not had sex for almost 10 months and he is with me in my bed every weekend without touching me I cant figure it out what do you think
Hi,
Great article, Dania !!!!
In fact, it reminds me of some good advise my Great Aunt passed along to me many, many years ago.
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500
I agree with almost all of this, however, the “open” relationship part made me want to puke! The second the relationship becomes “open” is the second it’s over!
Did a man write this?
With all due respect I have to disagree with you I think what you call myths are standards if a man doesn’t feel that a woman is worthy of a meal and a couple of drinks on the first couple of dates then I don’t think he’s worthy of the lifetime of care and devotion he could end up getting from the woman in return. And as for the marriage thing it’s too easy for a man to move in with a woman have all the benefits of a wife and not give her the deserved title and commitment of a wife and as a woman who has done ad you advise and ended up sad and sorry I’m afraid I feel the advice your giving is encouraging women to be undervalued doormats very sorry to offend but I couldn’t disagree with you more.