Quality, Not Quantity
When it comes to picking someone who’s perfect for you, you should be the person who’s most qualified to make that decision. But when you ignore the red flags of a flawed partner, you won’t know that you deserve better. Are you dating down? Are you dating someone who isn’t worthy of your time, attention and affection? Are you dating a person who isn’t on your level? Here are five signs to look out for.
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1. You’re More Successful Than Them
Many successful women are single and they blame their singleness on their success. The truth is they date men who aren’t on their level. Successful, confident men aren’t intimidated by successful, confident women. If you keep picking men who don’t have the same drive as you, learn to pick better. There are plenty of successful men who are willing to build an empire with you.
2. You’re Afraid to Be Yourself
If you feel like you have to hide the real you, or dial it down for your partner, you’re dating down. You don’t need the added stress of living a lie, just to be in a relationship. You also don’t need to be fake to make your partner feel better about themselves and their shortcomings. If you date someone who is your equal, you get to be the real you.
3. You Have to Keep Reassuring Yourself
You’re dating down if you have to keep reassuring yourself that you’re with the right person. You may have a checklist of what you think your partner is supposed to be, and even though the person you’re with doesn’t meet some, most or all of the requirements on your checklist, you keep reassuring yourself they do. No matter how many times you tell yourself they are, they aren’t the right person for you.
4. You’d Be Better Off Alone
What would you really lose if you broke up with them? If you’re dating down, you’d actually have a lot to gain. A good relationship is about fairness—things tend to even out. But if you’re dating down you may be giving more (and they may be taking more) than they are giving to you. You’d probably save yourself a lot of time and money if you just broke up with them.
5. You’re Keeping Them a Secret
When you’re ashamed of your relationship, you don’t want the world to know that you’re in one. When you know you’re friends and family wouldn’t approve of this person (because they’re beneath you), you date them in secret. Ask yourself why you feel the need to be so secretive. The answer is, because you’re dating down.
Quantity vs. Quality
You don’t have to date down just to be in a relationship. Love is about quality, not quantity. You’re better off dating fewer, quality people than wasting your time dating people who aren’t good enough for you. You’d save yourself a lot of time, money and heartache if you learned to date people who are on your level.
7 thoughts on “5 Signs You’re Dating Down”
Hi! Eric, thank u for your article very informative. All I can say about dating is I have been dating a lot below me I guess. Every time I date someone for a few months in, it always turns out to be losers. All they want is a meal ticket, even the ones that do have jobs, can’t win. But, Eric I have come to the conclusion just to pray and leave it all up to god and the angels.
I have to take care of myself and not worry about it. If it is not in my cards its o.k. I will concentrate on doing the things I love to do and enjoy life and the journey. I just leave it to the
universe, I ask for what I want and the universe will provide the best for me. All I ask for is a life partner that is settled and wants a future with me. If not its o.k. I know what I want and I will not settle I will not be hurt again. So, everyone take Eric’s advise about he is right.
blessing to all
Thanks you very much ma/sir
Dear Mark,
Cut her loose and move forward with your life. She’s doing a number on you. This is a controlling and manipulative individual. Don’t waste your time because the sooner you walk away from her, the sooner you will be in a healthy relationship. You deserve better.
Please help , iv been seeing someone I really like , at the time my marriage was on the rocks and she had a husband who was dying of cancer, we got along well , she knew I had a serious crush on her ,but said I need to have patience , her hubby is still alive and she wouldn’t deceive him , so we can be friends and she likes me a lot but I must be patient , I used to meet her every morning and used to call her during the day and weekends , then her hubby past just after Christmas , I went to the funeral and used to talk to her on the fone until she came back to work , as usual we met in the morning for the first two days and then she avoided me saying she gets a lift and said that I should not meet her in the morning because people will talk that her hubby just died and she is walking with me , two weeks (that’s now) she says we can be only friends and she will only see me when we bump into each other , I dunno what to do , I cant help calling her or thinking about her , she talks normal to me but when I ask abt us meeting she goes silent , what should I do?
I’ve been alone now about 12 too 13 years now will i ever find her or will my ex girl Friend come back its who i care about wish i had good news
There is a difference between being lonely and being alone. You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Love should not hurt…..it’s a give and take relationship. You have to compromise, but not to the point where you lose who you are. I spent seven years with a man that never once said he loved me. I finally woke up and smelled the coffee. Be yourself and don’t change to please him. Believe me….he won’t change to please you.
o m g pls beloved friends can someone help me out on this relationship issue,pls open up to me about this relationship,pls can i know who really my partner or sweetie pls,i want someone to pls help me out & break it down to me i really need pay off now becoz am here over years now,pls! pls! shalom unto you all thanks