Struggling Relationships
How do you know when it’s time to throw in the towel and quit? When do you admit that all you have sacrificed isn’t going to bring you closure and balance? These are the two most common questions asked by callers who are in struggling relationships. The answer is never easy or succinct, but the fear of what awaits when the relationship ends is almost always at the root of the conflict.
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The Swiss-American psychiatrist, Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, found that there are five stages of grief. These stages are found within everything and everyone we love and lose, or risk losing. They come in no particular order, but they arrive as sure as the moon rises. For the sake of this article, we will apply them to a romantic love relationship and the loss of that relationship.
Denial
This is the moment when you may deny that anything serious is wrong with the relationship. Regardless of the evidence, you simply refuse to acknowledge that ANYTHING you have put so much of your heart and soul into could possibly go so horribly wrong.
Bargaining
Whether the bargaining is done with the focus of your affection or the deity of your choice, it still boils down to throwing pride out the nearest window and offering often self-effacing deals that, in the end, will only make you feel worse after the relationship breathes its last breath. For instance, “If you stay with me, I won’t (whatever)… no matter how much I want to!” In that scenario, you just offered to give up something you really enjoy for the pitiful attempt of trying to gain favor with someone who, obviously, is more concerned with their needs than yours.
Anger
Women are usually told to avoid anger at all costs; it’s not “ladylike.” When a relationship ends, that anger will find a place at the table. Count on it! For men, the release of anger can be even more unstable. Anger is pure, unaltered passion and it should be focused in productive outlets before something genuinely unwanted becomes the result. If you know it is sleeping in that beautiful heart of yours, make sure you recognize it when it arrives and direct it toward a positive outlet: kickboxing, running—something physical and good for your body.
Depression
This one can be a bit tricky. Sometimes it’s caused by a chemical imbalance that should be addressed by medical means. Other times it’s temporary—it will pass with a few rounds of ice cream and some good friends to listen. Depression can never be treated through chemical abuse (alcohol or other drugs) or by running into the arms of the next person you meet. Those methods of healing are like putting a Band-Aid on an open artery.
Acceptance
Last but not least, we have acceptance. This stage can take a while to arrive. Sometimes it takes years, but it will arrive. Just as the sun follows the worst storms, acceptance will bring peace. You may never understand what went wrong. You may never forgive the lies and the deceit. You may never forgive yourself for all the signs that told you to get out years earlier. What you will do is heal—if you allow it to happen. You are in charge of this entire process.
Dr. Kubler-Ross blazed a new path for understanding loss and how we deal with it. You can blend this scientific information with the psychic information you receive from a trusted psychic, like me, and find your path into a clear and beautiful future. You found that wonderful love in the first place and you will love again if you allow it.
Be gentle with yourself. It’s not an easy road but it is one that can take you to a place of experience and wisdom like nothing else. Call me and know your heart is in good hands. We will find the road out of the storm together.
Psychic Jesse ext. 9027
10 thoughts on “The 5 Stages of Grieving the Loss of Love”
I just lost my sister. Just as in 6months ago. I can’t hold on, but wont move forward. I miss her so much. When does you’ll get over it begin.
I started seeing a girl Sept 7 2015 she had split with her baby daddy in may 2015 it was great she wanted me there asked me to go out with her an her friends our kids got involved spent weekends together it was wonderful she opened up to me about the damaging relationship then in the middle of Oct we had sex for the first time and one more time a few days later then she started pushing me off her pushed my kids out her kids life cause her x didn’t wanna worry the kids but he has a girl an she was around there kids…..distance an ask for space happened every couple months then a guy pops in pic she said an old friend wanted to take her dancing an asked how I felt about it I asked just an old friend? never dated? No sexuality experiences? She says no 2months go by I find out they where engaged 12 yrs ago this was back in July I start noticing her phone going off late almost every time I’m there then we she always does just enough to keep me comeing back I’ve been really suspicious think she’s be sleeping with multiple men for a yr ….so 5 days ago I ask she doest confirm or deny says who is it tht she slept with I say both ur x’s an possible 3 others she says she didn’t sleep with the 2 x’s an says to me she’s not gonna have this conversation an said have a merry Christmas….she is very secretive keeps me in the dark I said I’m done an walked away but I feel I’m making a mistake I still want her but I made a promise to myself to work on me so 2017 will start off good told her if she wants an actual relationship then she must come to me I’m done chasing….I dont believe she will
My mom will be gone 2 years on Christmas eve her birthday is Christmas day i will never no what really happened that night i guess im still at angry stage
I believe there is actually one more important stage and that is Gratitude. Gratitude to the other person for the life experience, the range of emotions that were felt and the lessons learned in the process.
I dated a Man for a year two weeks after He filled for a divorce. A year later He wanted to date other Women to see what’s out there being He was with His wife for 45 years. A year and 3 months later He still is not divorced. 2 weeks after He wanted distance from Me He met another Woman and had been with Her for 3 months. We never posted publicity on face book because the divorce was not final . He has been posting with Her. I feel in Live with Him and can’t move on. As a Woman I feel like I’m useless and not as good as Her. Why had He moved on so quickly. How can He move on and cut Ne out of His life completely . Was I just a rebound ? Is He in love with His new Woman and going to marry Her after his divorce? How can He be there through My chemotherapy , hospitalization, and My Brothers death for a whole year and move on like I no longer exist? This is the worst pain ever this is worst than death itself. Death you know they will never come back to you. Breakup You hope and prAy and wait for them to . I’m so depressed and can’t move on. Please help me and give me advice.
You need to forget him and start thinking about yourself, his man don’t know what he wants he is looking for answers also. Life is to precious to waste on someone who is not interested he will be the big looser when he see’s you are going on with your life.
Sweet Tracie,
You have SO much to offer! You can’t see how this man could not fall in love with that beautiful burning heart of yours. What you don’t realize is that you are not a shining star; you are an entire universe and not everyone is an astronaut. He was not mature or honest enough to be worthy of you. That is simply the truth. I sincerely hope that you realize that your worth is NOT reflected in his eyes (or anyone else’s). Your worth is priceless…there is no limit to it.
I promise you that I am NOT just saying these things to try to make you feel better. These words are true and they are meant for you to feel every one of them and embrace the power inside of you.
I can honestly say that I know what you are going through because I have been there. I had an ex who replaced me within minutes of wanting to marry me. I know that there seems to be no end to the despair…but I promise that there is. It is going to take some work, but if you summon your courage, you will not be disappointed!
I hope I can read for you some day but in the meantime, please know that I am thinking of you and sending you lots of support.
Tracy
I certainly hope u have found some peace. My heart broke for u when I read ur post. God bless and hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel in view.
Thank you so very much, for the advice. It’s been a hard 5 yrs. & a harder 5 mo. & a great 16 yrs. I just hope I make it through, to recovery.
Great advice