Do You Unconsciously Push Love Away?
When it comes to love, are you afraid of getting what you really want? As crazy as it sounds, we often sabotage our own best efforts to take that next leap into the future, whether it’s for a job, a personal goal or even a relationship. We’re either afraid of getting it or we convince ourselves that we don’t deserve it. Whether you’re looking for a relationship or you’re already in one, you might be surprised to learn the countless ways people unconsciously push love away despite their deep desire to connect with someone special. Let’s take a look at five ways people reject love and how to stop doing it. Are you a love rejecter?
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According to Psychology Today, there are five main behaviors we exhibit that push love away. They are:
- Withholding affection
- Shutting down our emotions
- Being overly critical of a partner
- Disrespecting a partner
- Picking fights (usually for no reason)
How many of us have done at least one of those things to someone we care for? I’m willing to admit it; I’m guilty.
How to Stop the Cycle
These behaviors all stem from fear. Fear makes us withhold what we previously gave willingly, such as support, compliments and affection. Fear makes us replace those gifts with negative behaviors like being short with our partners, being unappreciative and even impatient. Here’s what we could be fearing:
- Intimacy
- Change
- Failure
Change is Inevitable
Whether love is old or new, it continually experiences change, and any of those changes can bring up fears. But it’s best to face fears head-on. We have to resist the urge to pull back just as we’re getting closer to our goals. We pull back unconsciously for the most part, but it’s important to recognize when we’re doing it, so we can learn how to stop it.
Make Sure Your Emotions and Your Actions Match
There’s no guarantee that you’ll never fight or disagree or even be mad at one another, but by being consciously aware of how you feel about your partner and how you treat them, you can make sure that your emotions and your actions match.
It’s impossible to simultaneously hug someone while snapping at them. And being disrespectful to someone you say you love doesn’t work either. You must explore your emotions and get to the root of why they exist and then refuse to let them take over your whole life. By consciously avoiding the five ways people reject love, you can resolve problems and give love a real chance to blossom.
