Sometimes we’re in such a hurry to leave our single life behind that we forget to fully enjoy the time we have to ourselves. In order to fully invest in a partner, we need to have fully invested in our own selves. We need to feel happy, beautiful, confident, strong, loved, and self-reliant, all without the aid of a partner. You can’t truly know the meaning of love until you’ve loved yourself, and with that introduction out of the way, here’s some old world advice on the seven most important lessons to learn before tying the knot.
One is Truly a Great Number
Live in a one bedroom apartment by yourself for one year. Paint one of the walls red (or another bright color). Go to a movie on date night (Saturday), step up to the box office, and say, “One adult, please.” Make one giant snow angel in bed each night before going to sleep. Sing in the shower, eat the one last gingerbread cookie without asking, and treat yourself to something silly and expensive one time a year.
Love Comes From the Heart, Never the Eyes
Date as many interesting people as you can (even the ones you think aren’t your type). Ask that guy/girl out on a date that you’ve always had a crush on (you’ll always regret if you don’t, even though you might end up disappointed if you do). Embark on a speed dating adventure, post a compatibility profile with three dating websites, and agree to one blind date your friend swears is “the one” (your soulmate).
The Best Way to Experience Life is by Living it to the Fullest
Spin one of those old fashioned globes between your hands, tap your finger on two or three of your wildest dream destinations, and tell everyone you know you’re going there (some of them might ask to come along). Fly high in a hot air balloon ride, ride the rapids, and swim with the sharks (err, better make that the dolphins).
Embrace Old Friends While Making New Ones
Find a three day weekend, round up four friends, get a full tank of gas, set off down the most desolate road you can find and see where it takes you. Plan a wild girls’/guys’ night out. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, or take up one hobby you think you’ll hate (but pretend to like it).
Relish Being the Aunt or Uncle
Play with monster trucks, Barbie, and G. I. Joe. Laugh out loud when your brother’s/sister’s/best friend’s three-year-old dumps spaghetti all over your new white shirt (remember, you’re going home without them).
Draw Your Family Tree Before the Leaves Start to Fall
Take time to sit down and really talk to your Grandpa and/or Grandma. They have things to say; most you should really listen to! Search for your family’s roots. Find out your father’s nickname and who stole your great, great grandmother’s first kiss; your kids may ask one day.
Grab Your Career by the B***s Before it Grabs You by Yours
Tell your rude and unappreciative boss to stuff it (in a nice and polite way). Attend night classes. Achieve a Master’s/Ph.D. degree. Learn a foreign language, balance your checkbook without a computer, and always remember that every corporate/world leader puts their pants on one leg at a time (unless caught in bed with someone other than their spouse), so don’t be afraid to speak up when you need to!
What are your favorite ways to firmly establish your independence?
5 thoughts on “7 Important Lessons to Learn Before Marriage”
I really like this article,it change my life
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Dear Eric, this was terrific! I’ve taught myself that when I’m in my office alone, and it seems like the whole world is having a wonderful time without me, to change my perspective and remember how much I love what I do and how much fun I’m actually having doing it, and that I haven’t been left behind. I made a choice to do what I love and a lot of people would love to have made that choice.
Reading your article, I feel the same sense of delight I feel when I’m fully engaged in enjoying being me and all the relationships I have with a great variety of people. Thanks!
Jessica
I love this article. It is just what I need right now.
I, unfortunately, did not follow this advice after my late husband died, and wound up married to a man without a soul, much less a heart. My current husband just left me last month, without notice, without a goodbye….nothing. I still do not understand why. He moved 2,000 miles away.
But, I do blame myself for not taking the time to “rediscover” myself….alone. I have to admit that I “used” my husband to avoid the grief that I was experiencing. I met him 8 months after my late husband died. I was vulnerable. I did, however, fall in love with him about 4 months after we met. He “seemed” the perfect man for me…..but I have had to realize that he chose to “appear” to be everything I needed in a mate. But his true soul has revealed itself……and I am paying for it now.
So, I am taking this time to find “Diane” again. I also know that my husband and what he has done, is a life lesson for me…..one I need to learn. And I am using this pain and loss to better who I am as a person. There is nothing like a “lesson of the heart” to grow and change from. I will survive and become the woman God wants me to be…..I just thank God that I didn’t “waste” years on a man who does not have the ability to love, or have integrity. He now lives in Las Vegas…….I pray that the next woman he meets, is not as gullible as I was. My husband took me for thousands of dollars. I am having to learn to forgive him for that….as I am trying to pull my life together. I am learning to love myself more than some man who makes empty promises.
I wish I had seen this article before I had met him…..Thank you for such a great and informative article that will help me to change how I interact with others.
Hi,
This was an outstanding article !!!!!!
I especially liked the part about dating as many different types of people as you can……as it’s a good way to broaden your horizons and, at the same time, learn some new things about YOURSELF.
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500