Did Your Help, Love and Care Turn Him Into an Arrogant Man?
As a psychic who has given readings to thousands of people, I have discovered that many women are experiencing the same issue: the arrogant man. I often hear some version of this statement: “I loved and helped him so much to get on his feet and now he has turned arrogant/cocky and even hostile towards me.” Although each situation is unique, I find a commonality in the circumstances.
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So what is happening here? Well, let us first realize that guys just don’t like dealing with emotions and especially the feeling of being down and out. When a woman finds a man in such circumstance, she finds him mostly humble and lovable and she will let herself fall in love with him. She listens to his hardship story, feels compassion and thinks: “I am going to give you all the things you are lacking.”
Arrogant Man, Forgetful Man
Then what happens? In his new life he will act as if he has no need for the one who has done so much for that pathetic person he refuses to remember he once was. He will pretend he always had it together and never was down and out. He starts acting coldly and basically pulls away from the woman who has been such a support to him. He may even act as if he does not need her. He feels ready to be a player. He starts texting other women. Instead of being a steady companion he becomes more of an occasional visitor who stops by for whatever he needs and then leaves again. He’s become an arrogant man.
Spoiling Leads to Arrogance
If a woman finds herself in this situation, the biggest mistake for her to make is to believe that she did something wrong and that is why he wanders off with other women or abandons her. The only thing she did wrong was to give too much and believe spoiling her man was going to make him appreciate her. Too much giving leads to an unearned sense of success that feeds a growing attitude of arrogance. So what is arrogance? Perhaps it could be described as pretending to be bigger and better then the truth of who you are. When someone doesn’t earn their success, no matter how great or small, it is very easy for them to become arrogant.
Do Less
So, what is a girl to do? The advice oddly enough is for you to do less. Let your man stay humble and work his way up to being proud of his actual accomplishments instead of bragging about how easy it was to get some woman (or women) to do it all for him. Do not be so quick to rush to the rescue. Be a good listener but not an enabler or fixer. Let him figure it out so he can earn the self-respect and true confidence he needs. If you don’t spoil him, his genuine sense of self will make him a better person to be with.
13 thoughts on “The Arrogant Man: Have You Created a Monster?”
Fantastic article on an increasingly more common issue, one that has been coming up for more and more of my client’s everyday. Through direct communication with their ‘Spirit Guides’, I have come to understand that the arrogance can often stem from the fear that this vulnerability could be perceived as weakness which can feel quite emasculating to him. Another facet is that after feeling that she has somehow ‘fixed’ his problems with all that ego boosting attention, he can subconsciously ‘maternalize’ her which can lead to resentment and no desire for intimacy anymore. For me, I think it is wise to remember that we do not have the power to change other’s, only the power to be the example which we hope to set for other’s. Thank you so much for sharing your gems of wisdom Kim!!
Namaste, Samadi Ext.5201
I was in this situation and he was a doctor! A spoiled idiot who actually thought since I rented out my place and was now living with him that I had no place to go and was going to allow his verbal abuse. I put up my surveillance and let him lie and lie but I knew the truth and I had all the answers which I shared with him very little. 8 months later our door man called him at work and said I was moving out! He cancelled his patients and came home shocked and I told him while he was playing checkers I was playing chess – and he must have forgot that the Queen (which is me) moves around the board anywhere she wants – and I walked out the door. Yeah I was hurting too but I never showed anything but a smile so he was the fool, and looked it, and I was done playing victim! It was great!!
Just give your love to another man who deserves it – there are many looking for someone special just like you!
Yes, I know the feeling all too well. He posted things on fb supposedly that I was messing around with another male who happened to be my friend. He went so far as to call this individual and tell him I was the one going around saying that I was involved with this individual. I did not find out until later that the “friend” said I was too fat and not his style then stated that he gets this all the time. Women attach themselves to him … really! I traveled to Las Vegas for a meeting and if I was so interested and “wanting” this individual I would hope someone would have noticed I did not contact this individual or had any desire to become attached to this so called “friend”. OMG he started threatening my job plus my son. I kicked him to the curb for lying and cheating on my from what these other ladies were posting about him thru fb messaging. He did message another lady saying I’ am an idiot and too mean when it doesn’t matter anyway. He stated that he has more pretty relatives and friends. The bad thing was he had always been shady and not trustworthy but I really thought things would be different.
Great article Kim!
I’m in a situation of pity, loss soul, blinded human being. I try not spoil this man, but I believe in loving on another as a Christian in Jesus Christ, I have to love all my enemies. You can love a person with a long silver spoon. We’ll I was in a relationship where I thought there was no hope to be found for the man that I was with for 17 years. All I know I thank God for his son Jesus Christ who is the head of life and in everything that I do. Because today we are remembered by man, and tomorrow we are like withered leaves falling from a tree. Keep your trust in the true and living God who will never leave you or fail you. God is the one who make me very happy and always keeps a smile on my face. Not Man!
There are so many men like this .. narcissistic, proud, and arrogant .. but so insecure and self conscious on the inside
thank you for your comments… Please tell Teva I
thank her for help many months ago. Give her my best.
excelent work! well done!
So true……..!!!! I fell for a secret alchoholic, but when I realised what he was, gave him tough love. I gave him the number to ring for gettting help to quit drinking and stuck by him through his rehab. Then when he had been dry for a year he got cocky turned around and said….I’m a different man from the one you met, I need someone with more get up and go. Three days later i discovered that he had joined a dating agency. I would never ever go anywhere near anyone with a drink problem again. I felt very stepped on and used.
I. Want to know if these man (Mutiu)is my husband and I. Want to reapply for my visa
How about on the other side of the coin??? It’s not one sided!!!
I have a friend who needs to read all of the above regarding spoiling her man. Thank you for putting it so easy – hopefully people will recognize the roles they play here.
Kim thank you so much for my reading everything thing you told was very true . I just thank God I got out when I did to no that he can’t and will not abuse me ever again is enough for me to forget and never look back. Excited that someone new is coming my way gives me a reason to smile . Thank you soooooo much you have saved me from this monster I call Sam. 🙂 now I can move forward with my hopes and dream. Your friend marissa 🙂