Can I Save My Marriage?

Sue B. in Los Angeles, CA asks:

Dear Tansy,

I read the blogs that you write for California Psychics but I have never seen one about the situation I am in. Can you tell me what you think? It is about my husband and I.

We’ve been married for five years and have two children. At first, everything seemed to go along well. I worked a full-time job when we got married, but my husband said he didn’t want me to work, that I should stay home. He wanted to have children right away, and so we did.

He’s never liked my family or friends, so it’s just easier for me not to talk with them anymore. If he finds out I did, he gets really mad and won’t talk to me for a few days… He also says that I should stay home and not go anywhere, because I need to take care of the kids and the house. I can see that these things need to get done, but he doesn’t want me to go anywhere, not even to church.

What should I do to make things better? Lately, it’s gotten so that he even tells me what I can and cannot wear. I just don’t know how much longer I can take this. Can you help me?

Psychic Tansy Ext. 5289 responds:

Dear Sue,

You are in an abusive and controlling relationship. I can tell you right now that nothing you do will motivate your husband to treat you with loving respect as an equal partner and adult. He is in control of your marriage, and he needs it to be that way.

If you look back at the time before you married, I can see that you would find that he was very controlling even then, making known to you what he felt you should and should not do. Of course, he does not want you to have other relationships with your family and friends – he is afraid that they might influence you in a more positive direction. He doesn’t want that. He wants to be able to dictate everything to you, and not have outside influences interfere. Making you unemployed is just one more way of keeping you dependent on him.

I urge you to get back in contact with the people who care about you, and establish a support network for yourself. Talk to the minister at your church about counseling. Check your yellow pages for free counseling sources. I can see that you can honestly improve your situation with the proper advice and support.

You will be in my prayers.