What if someone were to tell you that the amount of happiness you experience in life depends on your level of curiosity? What if they were also to tell you that curiosity was an important factor in your health, intelligence, and the ability to foster a successful relationship … would you believe them?
Have you ever fallen for someone who wasn’t your “type?” Your “type” didn’t change. Your curiosity piqued and you found yourself responding to someone’s mind, sense of humor, or heart for a change. He or she felt like home and, with your curiosity heightened, you gave the possibility of love a chance.
So what makes a happy relationship thrive? Passionate romance, love, creative intimacy, surprise, and feeling that our partner is truly interested in who we are. All these characteristics are related to being curious in one form or another. Some psychologists believe that you can base the likelihood of an unsuccessful relationship– simply by identifying a lack of curiosity in your partner.
On the flip side, one of the most common reasons for relationship dissatisfaction is boredom, and loss of interest in each other. Sadly, these relationships often consist of at least one partner who is unenthusiastic about their life, the life of their partner, and the world in general. Simply put: the relationship is devoid of curiosity.
Learn To Truly Love Through Curiosity
Curiosity builds chemistry, restoring the romance and budding new love between a hapless couple. The next time he’s blabbering about some video game, and you roll your eyes – ask yourself this question instead: “What’s he so excited about? This thing he’s talking about must be really important to him.” Let your curiosity take over. You will find yourself engaged in what he’s saying, and eventually, the conversation will come back around to you.
Curiosity Building Strategies
Just because you may not be a curious person does not mean that you cannot teach yourself, or influence your partner to become more curious. Sometimes life can drain our energy and diminish our natural curiosity, to the point that we no longer feel interested in the things that should matter, but it doesn’t have to be that way. There are things you can do to help regain some of that lost curiosity. As in most therapies, healing begins with the individual, and then filters down to our partner.
- Look at the world from a fresh perspective. How well do you really know the history of your family and your partner’s family, the tourism attractions in your town, or the flowers in your own backyard?
- Take a class (dance, scuba, art, etc), read a book, or try something completely new (crocheting, underwater basket weaving, whatever strikes your fancy). One of the things that make people happy is learning something new.
- Make it common practice to make a new friend whenever you can. Be truly interested in finding out about people by asking them questions. This should include anyone you’ve just met, new and old friends, or a partner you’ve known for years.
- Take the time to watch and listen to your partner. You’ll be amazed at the things you can learn by simply observing them from afar. Find out about their interests and goals, and then share your own. When a partner is interesting, they may in turn become more interested in you.
A successful relationship thrives when we feel alive, attractive, and excited to share a life with our partner. If you no longer have these feelings, perhaps it is time to consider that it may be your level of curiosity that is dragging you down.
4 thoughts on “Curiosity As A Cure”
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Eric, this a great article! I think most of us know how easy it is to find ourselves being really nice to other people’s kids or to strangers on the street, than to our own children and partners. It’s not how we really feel, but there are no demands coming from people who aren’t personally significant, and…these relatively unknown people, are just that…an unknown about whom we can be curious.
I read an interesting article a while ago, by a woman who’s a divorce attorney. She said that she always hopes that there’s a way to keep a couple together and she offered a few tips for couples. One of them, I love! She suggested treating one’s partner as though every day, you’re trying to win that person over again.
That’s the curiosity factor at work. Thanks, Eric!
Thank You Eric, for all the wonderful articles you’ve been posting. And thank you Gina for taking the time to share all your insightful comments and wisdom. The ‘inner child’ in us never dies, the innocence there in is what keeps our hearts ticking to its task…….ticking to fulfill our true purpose in life. I’ve been touched and inspired by people of all ages who are truly…… still wonderfully young in their hearts and minds. Curiousity is what makes life an interesting lesson worth learning.
– Love, Peace & Blessings to you all 🙂
Hi,
The older I get, the more bohemian or eclectic , my taste in people…..which I think is a good thing…..the world is becoming a smaller place by the minute…..I have friends from all walks of life, from all social classes, and from many different ethnic back grounds and cultures as well.
Curiousity in a relationship is a good thing as it is aligned with the ” inner child ” in all of us. Curiousity in a relationship helps to keep that relationship from growing old and stale.
I’m thinking of an older couple I know…..they have been married for over 60 years…..he is a retired state judge and she is a painter/artist. They joined a local community theatre that does live plays and really get excited about their ” roles ” in whatever play they are working on. The small proceeds from the live plays go to their local community for various services.
They never run out of things to talk about as they are always getting involved in new activities, even at their age…..which in turn, helps keep them active physically and also sharp mentally as well.
In short…..curiousity makes the world go round !
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500