Dating After a Messy Divorce

Divorce can be an extremely painful and a life altering experience, whether it was terminated in a decent manner or in a destructive manner. There may have been kids, pets, homes and a lot of money fought over or it may have been done through an understandable and reasonable settlement. Whatever the case, you are now divorced and dating again is doable.

You may have been divorced for a year or ten years and are now thinking of re-entering the dating zone. However scary it may seems, we all seek love and companionship again at some point in our lives. A jump back into the deep end of the dating pool can bring on high anxiety, so maybe a slow step into the shallow end might be healthier. You may have been extremely hurt from the previous divorce and break up, but there are methods of gradually getting back into the dating game.

Easy Does It

Stepping back into dating after a messy divorce does not have to be something you do overnight. You may feel overwhelmed at even the thought of asking someone out for a coffee or making that first phone call. Try taking it at your own pace where you are comfortable and confident with your decision to mingle again. Think of meeting new potential interests as meeting new friends and building companionship. The more you think of dating leading to something more serious, the more you might stay feeling lost and alone. Easy does it; take it slow and just start by saying hello to a few people that you are attracted to. A simple hello can break the ice in most born-again daters.

Carpe Diem

It is in the best interest of most divorced individuals to leave the regrets and pain at the curb when trying to date again. Try not to make the new person you are seeing become your distraction and only that. That can ruin a potential bond that might develop. When you go out on a date live in the moment, forget the past and certainly do not worry about the future. The future does not exist yet. Seize the day!

Make a Check List

Take time to write down what you want in a relationship and what traits you like in a partner. Remember what didn’t work for you and focus on the positive traits you seek in a potential mate and even new friend. This will be a valuable tool for you when you are dating and can bring you awareness about some of the issues you need to improve within yourself as well. Remember that dating after divorce is possible and you can be happy again.