Are You Having an Emotional Affair?
Studies suggest it is lurking around the corner in over 50 percent of marriages, disguising itself as a simple “Hello, are you available to chat.” What makes this form of cheating different from sexual infidelity, is it allows a partner to suckle nectar from the apple, without plucking it from the tree. It offers the opportunity to create an emotional bond, without leaving the boundaries of the home. Worst of all, even though these partners may not be breaking any rules, they are suggesting a lack of interest in their primary partner, and this interest in someone different and new pushes them further away. If you suspect your partner is having an emotional affair, this article can help you understand what you are up against, and what your options are.
Every Ending Has a Beginning
Sexual infidelity begins with “Hello,” and ends with sex, lies, anger, tears, and finally, silence. A portion of these relationships can be traced back to emotional infidelity. Over 50 percent of affairs begin in the workplace, with evidence suggesting that online cheating may be overtaking the office as the springboard for most opportunities.
Like Moths to the Flame
Emotional infidelity can lead to a love addiction, which is more about the situation than the actual person. Suddenly a casual acquaintance becomes an obsession. This is because we build intimacy more quickly and easily online. It is easier to share your secrets, when you are not sharing physical space with the person you are talking to. It is also common to expand on a mystery person’s persona with traits we only hope they have (likes to travel, listens to Barry Manilow, etc.).
Even though these relationships are not being built on physical experience, this doesn’t make the emotions any less powerful. In other words, it is entirely possible to find yourself completely in love with an image and voice on your screen. Considering that much of your correspondence will be secretive, the risk associated with that person may also intensify emotions. If you combine risk with the inability to spend time with that person (absence makes the loins grow fonder), this potent mixture can drive feelings even closer to the brink of sexual infidelity. Call Psychic Joyce ext. 9598 if you are on the brink of an emotional affair!
The Difference Between Men and Women
Men and women experience emotional infidelity differently. As studies suggest, men feel less guilty, compared to physical cheating, and many see such a correspondence as harmless. Women, on the other hand, are more attuned to the emotional side of relationships, so investing themselves this way may be a sign of more involvement that her partner realizes. This, coupled with the fact that women are usually the gatekeepers responsible for moving a relationship from friendship to lover status, makes them more susceptible to believing the fantasy.
Is It Just a Fantasy?
Most partners engaged in emotional infidelity are not aware of the risks they are taking. The mere idea of maintaining an affair from across town, across states, or even across countries, has a built-in stop, which keeps any real cheating from happening. However, most affairs begin as a harmless fantasy, which then grows to an obsession.
Rejection Begets More Rejection
The nature of infidelity does not always begin with the desire for another person, but rather the need to feel loved and wanted by their existing partner. Unfortunately, we are the architects of our own experience, which means that we see what we want to. A lack of intimacy may be a source of many situations in life, such as work, or the death of a family member. How we choose to react to these can be the deciding factor between love and rejection.
Rather than approach our partner with our growing feelings of rejection, cheaters take the easy way out, and substitute these needs with the presence of a new love interest. In a deeper sense, these partners are rejecting their partner because they believe they have been forsaken, and fear they would only be rejected more if they opened up about their feelings. Feeling rejected by your partner? Psychic Hern ext. 5239 can tell you what’s going on.
Where to Draw the Line
Considering these friendships are not breaking any rules, many partners are left wondering where they should draw the line. The good news is that many partners end these relationships themselves. However, you should never ignore these red flags, as they are a distress call that your relationship is in trouble. Remember, in the beginning you still have the home-court advantage. There is a reason why your partner is in your life; they have not completely abandoned you. Open up to them. Ask them what is missing in the relationship that is urging them to look elsewhere for it.
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8 thoughts on “Emotional Infidelity: When They Emotionally Cheat on You”
pHey/ppWinning back your ex girlfriend is a very dfificult thing to do. It is a lot easier to generate feelings in someone, than it is to change their feelings. But if you take the right steps, and more importantly don’t do the wrong things, your chances increase dramatically./ppHere are 3 steps that helped me to get my ex girlfriend back:/ppDon’t Ask Your Ex Girlfriend To Get Back Together/ppYou should never ask her to get back together. Why? Simple, because her answer will be NO!/ppYou’re only shot at getting her back is to do the right things that will make her ask you to get back together. Maybe if you broke up with her, then you might be able to be the one who brings up the subject of getting back together. But if you can do it without, it would be much better./ppBut how do you get someone back without seeming desperate? In order to get your ex girlfriend attention, you have to show value without telegraphing your interest in her, while at the same time initiating interaction./ppSo don’t ignore your ex texts and calls when they break up with you. It screams that you are so devastated by the breakup that you can’t even handle talking to her. You want to respond to her, but do it in the right way. You can even initiate communication if you do it in the right way.br / You have to maintain a strong frame of confidence, and show your ex girlfriend that your happiness isn’t dependent on being with her./ppBeing Jealous Is Not The Way To Go/ppYou must understand that SHE IS GONNA DATE SOMEONE ELSE. Let that sink in good. And not only is she gonna date someone else, it will probably be someone you know, maybe even one of your friends. Tough to swallow I know. It’s ok if it bothers you, but don’t let it show and don’t call her out on it. Remember, you are not together anymore, and you don’t have any right to tell her what to do.br /If you do want to win her back, then you just have to weigh the decision./ppBe Flexible /ppDo not be that stereotypical angry ex. Do not throw out their stuff or demand for them to come pick up their stuff right now. Rather be flexible, easy-going and understanding. A person who doesn’t take things too seriously is an attractive quality in itself. It may inspire your ex girlfriend to start communicating with you again faster then you might think./ppThese tips were helpful for me to get my ex girlfriend back.br /all the best/p
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We are all intraconnected. Anyone can be a soulmate. Who’s to say we shouldn’t experience the quisine and fine tune it in an emotional way. The key is be realistic, know your boundaries and what YOU are willing to live with in the consequences good and bad. Ground yourself with intent and you are good to go.
I read your blog.Thanks for share your blog.I Really impressed from your blog.
My ex-boyfriend put it this way “If I go out on a date with someone, that is cheating. If I only get oral sex because I got drunk one day, that is not cheating” I could not believe his reasoning. We where not longer together.
Hi Eric,
Sadly, this is all VERY, VERY true ! I know because I do readings on this topic all of the time.
Especially the paragraph below in Eric’s article ~
The Difference Between Men and Women:
“”””Men and women experience emotional infidelity differently. As studies suggest, men feel less guilty, compared to physical cheating, and many see such a correspondence as harmless. Women, on the other hand, are more attuned to the emotional side of relationships, so investing themselves this way may be a sign of more involvement that her partner realizes.
This, coupled with the fact that women are usually the gatekeepers responsible for moving a relationship from friendship to lover status, makes them more susceptible to believing the fantasy. “”””
It is very easy to fall in love with an idealistic fantasy.
But yes,( for those wondering about the percentages ), I have seen these develope and lead to a tangible relationship in very , very rare cases, hmmm…..I’d say, under 20 % ever lead to anywhere but heartbreak.
Great article, Eric !
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500
Emotional affairs are especially tempting to women. Women look for emotional fulfillment more than sexual. Plan a date night once a week with your husband where you talk about your hopes and dreams to keep your marriage intact.
I had a revelation earlier this year about how differently men and women view cheating, while watching a rerun of the “King of Queens” show. Doug and his wife Carrie argued over what constitutes cheating when they found out that Doug’s best friend Deacon, who is married, went to dinner with a female acquaintance. Carrie insisted Deacon was cheating because he spent time with this other woman, sharing emotions, thoughts and viewpoints with her that he SHOULD have been sharing with his wife, causing Deacon to create a bond with the woman. Doug insisted it wasn’t cheating, because, as he explained to Carrie in one simple statement,
“You gotta be naked to cheat!”
Obviously going to lunch or doing anything else of a “platonic” nature together takes the moth one wing closer to the flame than “just chatting online”, but I still have to wonder…is that really all that most men think there is to the matter, that as long as they’re not getting naked with the woman, they’re not cheating?
And CAN a man and woman ever have a truly “platonic” relationship without one or the other of them hoping for something more substantial developing somewhere down the road?