When it Comes to Your Partner, Do You Have High Expectations?
Your partner has the potential to make you the happiest person in the world—but only if you don’t expect them to. Which brings us to the question: Are you guilty of expecting too much from your partner? Allow these eight facts of an unfulfilled relationship to answer that question for you.
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You Think it Should be All About You
The psychotherapist, Albert Ellis, once said, “Where is it written that others must act the way we want them to—it may be preferable, but not necessary.” In other words, there’s no rule that people need to act the way we want them to and it isn’t necessary for them to do so. George Valliant, the man who has studied human happiness for most of his life says, “A cardinal rule for happiness is not to think less of ourselves, but to think of ourselves less.” Translation: It’s not all about you all of the time. You will find that you enjoy your partner most when you are not expecting too much from them. You’ll be satisfied by your connection if you are not seeking out specific moments of happiness. If you think your partner should always act the way you want them to, you expect too much from them.
There’s No Commitment
Serious compromises and sacrifices are made by people in a committed relationship. If you and your partner aren’t committed to each other, you can’t expect them to make serious compromises and sacrifices for you. You can’t expect them to and they shouldn’t! If you expect compromises and sacrifices from a partner you aren’t committed to, you expect too much.
Wondering when they’ll commit to you? Psychic Aliza ext. 5844 can tell you!
You Won’t Make Sacrifices for Them
You may expect your partner to give up certain things for you, but would you give up those same things for them? If you wouldn’t make the same sacrifices for your partner, you have no right to ask them to make sacrifices for you. If you do, you expect too much.
You Rely on Them for Your Excitement and Romance
You can’t rely on your partner to bring all the excitement and romance to your relationship. You also need to bring excitement and romance to the relationship and that comes from your sense of wonder and desire for adventure. In multiple studies it has been suggested that couples are more satisfied with each other when they are constantly engaged in interesting and novel tasks. If you want more fire in your relationship, it is also up to you to provide the spark.
You’ve Cheated (or Considered Cheating)
Cheaters claim they cheated because they were unhappy in their relationships and they were unhappy because their partners did not meet their expectations. Nearly 90% of people who believe in true love and soul mates also believe that there is one person who holds the key to satisfying most everything they need. That is a lot to ask of one person and it is inevitable that their soul mate will fail to meet their needs. So this failure makes cheating okay in the cheaters’ minds and they look for side relationships. Don’t fall into this trap! If you expect your partner to hold to key to satisfying all your needs, you expect too much.
Should you forgive a cheater? Psychic Thomasina ext. 6285 knows if they can be faithful to you.
You Expect Sex to be Great, but Don’t Work to Make it so
Sex can become monotonous and boring in a long-term relationship, but only if you and your partner allow it to be. If you rely on your partner to shake things up in the bedroom, you expect too much. Start a discussion about new toys and techniques if you’d like to try them. Your partner isn’t a mind reader. Communicate your reasonable needs and expectations.
You Let Technology Get in the Way
Technology can create a lot of problems in relationships. Whether it’s a distracting annoyance or the platform for a heated argument between you and your partner, technology gets in the way of a happy relationship. According to a study in the “Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy,” couples who attempt to solve problems over text, email or chat are less satisfied with their partners than those who solve their problems in person. It may take more time to do it the old-fashioned way—but it’s better.
Stop fighting over text message! Learn to communicate the right way during a relationship reading with Psychic Tabitha ext. 5717.
You Expect too Much Out of Life
We are expected to make the most of life—be as successful as we can be—and that doesn’t always make us happy. Often, we set expectations for ourselves that are too high, so it’s no wonder that we also set expectations for our partners that are too high. Research suggests that it’s better to lower your expectations (of yourself and others), so that when they are exceeded, you feel happy. When it comes to great relationships, the secret is to expect the basic necessities from your partner (affection, commitment, intimacy, etc.) and consider everything else the icing on your romantic cake.
12 thoughts on “8 Facts That Prove You Expect too Much From Your Partner”
you didnt mention family coming first in ac second maridge situation
In 1995 I recall hugging my wife and saying I loved her. I do not know what was bugging her that morning but she quickly threw a glass cup into the sink. She ran to the phone. She picked up the receiver and began to dial. I looked at her and asked her who was phoning. She replied the police. She was going to have me arrested and jailed. She was going to charge me for sexual assault. I was shocked. Then she hung the receiver. Then she told me if I even try to kiss her or hug her she would stop at nothing to have me arrested. So much for marriage. I have never cheated. I have never looked around. I pitched in and helped with the housework. I had three jobs. I paid for the mortgage etc. I have stayed home with the children etc. Oh yes she was going to have me charged for sexual assault for impregnating her. I do not want to bring God in the picture but she felt guilty because the priest never educated her about how babies were born. It was up to God to look after that. Do you think I am enjoying writing this? No I sure as hell not. After that day 1995 my heart almost stopped and my love for her ended. Sex life had stopped. I am back to purity. I learned that sex is an illegal and immoral act. It was five years ago she made it very clear she will not hesitate to have me arrested. I haven’t touched her since. We are still together but I might as well I have a lot to lose. I worked my ass off those years and to learn that she hated my guts. Later I learned that I never furnished her with a 1/2 million dollar house and a lavish life style. All of her so called friends were all wealthy and I was just a working slob. Last year I broke my leg and do have a heck of a time walking etc. She was pissed off because I didn’t return back to work. I am 68 I do believe I deserve some enjoyment of being old. I guess I must be a bigger idiot and foolish. I do not want any pity. Some of these damn females think life is just honey spice if honey has the big bucks in the bank account.
LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF, BOTTOM LINE,SO SAD!SOMETIMES LOVE JUST AINT ENOUGH!JOHNNY LANGS SONG, LIE TO ME ,SO TRUE!
I LOVE THIS WISDOM THX SO MUCH!
will be be together, there are times when we do see eac other I feel good, but when i do not conmuncate, i feel like a one nite stand in time of his needs and mine whatr to do. leave him a lone period, or what, i thought i was strong, i no he still talks to this other person as well. he looks lost, am i a fool.
this was a good read i must say..thanks
It’s great to read this, I had a relationship with no commitment, almost not affection, and litlle intimacy, I doubled his aged, most of the time in bed he was watching porn while intimacy was on.
I felt for him, and after a year, he left to Los angeles, cause llosted his job, without saying anything at all, he told me a week later on line, I was going crazy, a week later. He asked me to stop contacting him, since he was too busy.
I made several mistakes, and at the end sensed some messages expressing obviously my love for him.
Now I’m hurting, trying my best to be strong and not contacting him, I don’t know………????
I am a nice looking Gay Woman and the last 14 years I cannot meet. These woman play games.
WELL SAID PAULINE..I just ended a relationship because of the lack of emotional connect. There was nothing in the bedroom because there was nothing “outside” the bedroom…He had a slight sexual issue, nothing we hadn’t overcome in the past. Suddenly it was his excuse to shut down emotionally and shut down he did. While I am not an un-compassionate woman, I realized it wasn’t his lack as so much his lack of interest in me. When a problem is present the last thing one should do is shut down emotionally, no relationship can survive that. I f I had tried to bring toys in the situation it would have killed it off sooner than it did. He also swept issues under the table, another reason we didn’t work.
Hmm a lot to think on here hubby and I have grown differently both politically and spiritually though neither of us would disrespect the other’s beliefs, or interfere with the practice of them, we also have completely different standards of house and home things too- which I have needed to compromise on for many years as when my mother in law was alive it would cause arguments with her to the extent that I didn’t use the lower part of the house to keep the peace- which now as she has passed we have inherited and all the jobs that needed doing after years of neglect- she didn’t want anything changed after hubby’s father died so things then were difficult and obviously we couldn’t make the home we might have liked to now we have free reign but not loads of money so I don’t want to pressurise him but we’ve had holes in ceilings and rotten window-frames now for nearly two years should I just accept he has different standards and lower mine to keep the peace as in other ways we get on well – I have a son, but he’s 22 now – though I would not want to hurt either one of them either by being inconsiderate of their feelings we’ve been together for almost 25 years and I know he loves me, so I really don’t know how to handle the situation
The flip side is having a partner who is more concerned about others needs than they are your needs. Such a partner welcomes a moral partner to do the wrong thing in a committed relationship. Also, most of your replies come from females and in my opinion this website has no idea about how males feel emotionally.
Females are notorious self promoters. Males do try to solve problems that are presented to them by their female partners, but the problems always concern pleasing someone else. As a male, I believe that our ego’s do get in the way of being in a committed relationship, but society puts to much emotional garbage on our shoulders. Your article suits the male ego very well. If I am given consideration for not being perfect, then I will be extremely satisfied with my currnt relationship.
Your article gives me room for error and to publicly question all who expect perfection from me. I am not perfect.
Can all of you psychics please address the physical importance of femle menopause on a relationship from the male viewpoint. Menopause can go on for years in the female mind. Solutions for sex being unsatisfying for woman are practically non-existent. Sex is the ruination, foundation of any relationship sexually. Menopause is when a man comes to grip with the question, “Who is this woman in my life”? “Why am I with Her!”?
Truthfully, menopause puts woman under the microscope in a man’s life. It is when, sexually, he looks to satisfy that part of his life. Menopause is physically unsatisfying for women sexually, so thus he looks elsewhere for this satisfaction. It is where the phrase: A younger woman. came from. At this stage of his life, a man knows what he is looking for in a mate and society be damned!
Interesting article, Eric. What it boils down to is that nobody is perfect. The majority of people expect their partners to create happiness and/or safety for them and that’s the trap. We are all responsible for creating our own happiness and when we do, we are better able to accept others for who they are instead of trying to change them in order to satisfy personal needs.
I agree with you that technology gets in the way. Adults, who are broadcasting their relationship status and airing their dirty laundry on social media, are extremely childish and have lost sight of what true, emotional intimacy is all about.
As for physical intimacy, I do agree that communication is important. However, if things are getting stale in the bedroom, introducing toys isn’t going to solve the problem. If two people truly want to spice things up, they must first start connecting on an emotional level because the lack of emotional intimacy is what is affecting the physical intimacy. Sweeping problems under the carpet and bringing toys into the bedroom are only going satisfy some silly, male fantasy and possibly create self-esteem issues which will actually bring additional problems into the relationship. It’s like saying, “I’m bored with you and you don’t satisfy me so lets open the toy box.” The more emotionally connected two people are, the better their sex life will be. Toys are fine if both parties enjoy that sort of thing and want to have some fun but it should not be used to try to fix a more serious issue.