Get The Love You Want

There are a lot of “shoulds” out there about finding love. If you’ve done discovery work into your relationship patterns, you have lots of knowledge, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t lost – it only gives you a compass!

What defines a “healthy relationship” has become even more vague for most of us lately. Mutual support, kindness and attraction are just some of the elements that make a relationship work. Compatibility is far more mysterious, because it’s in the world we can see – and in a deeper place as well.

Bigger forces are at work. Intuition is the ability to sense when the unseen world is showing you the path. One way it manifests is through attraction: A great relationship is a magical connection that starts in the physical world and enhances spiritual awakening. So don’t discount the things you are drawn to, just because they don’t fit some arbitrary list that makes sense to other people.

Most people have strong instincts when it comes to picking a lover. Dating is not about learning what you can live with – it’s about finding the best that the Universe has in store for you. The human race has one of the most beautifully complex mating dances in nature, and every sense comes into play – a word in a melodious voice can bring you to your knees, and one look from those eyes can make your heart skip a beat. Just brushing hands can entice you – but only if you are attracted to that person from the get-go.

Be honest with yourself about what makes it for you. The truth is, we don’t actually want the images that are glorified in magazines and television. We just like looking at those! Falling in love is a whole different matter. You don’t have to bargain with chemistry – it’s undeniable. And the laws of attraction are not a one-size-fits-all phenomenon. If media-worthy looks equaled love, every famous person would have a stable, passionate relationship that lasts their whole life.

Heed your inner voice

No amount of love coming from one person will balance the scales on both sides. And the longer it goes on, the more the other person will do the emotional work in the relationship. You withdraw more, and they get more desperate. You aren’t doing them any favors by holding on. You are preventing them and you from going forward, and getting what you really want – equality of attraction. You want what attracts you. You need to have the attraction go both ways. If you’re the one chasing someone who is unresponsive, it’s probably time to run in the other direction.

Get clear
The universe responds to one single thing – clarity, so it time to get out a pen and a piece of paper. Even if you haven’t connected with a soulmate in a while, you’ve probably enjoyed a fair number of admirers, lovers, and close friends. What attracted you to them? What were the things you missed the most when those friendships ended, or you drifted apart? It’s not about making a “perfect list” – it’s about knowing what really matters to you.

Take inventory for each area of compatibility: physical, emotional, and spiritual. These traits have to do with who that person is. Then make a list that relates to what the relationship itself would feel like: Do you want to share a home? Do you want to have children together? Would you like to share pets? Is traveling together an element in your dream of partnership? Go big. Don’t hold back! By owning it, you will enable yourself to receive it!

Your ideal relationship comes from a deep intuition about what makes you happy. It’s a gift from the universe. There’s no need to apologize for wanting what’s perfect for you. So go forth! Rejoice! You now have your map to true love!