Guide to Guys: Part One

Has the object of your affection been sending mixed signals? Use this handy guide to understand what to expect from your intended. (This is part one in the series, let me know what man types you want to see!)

The Say Anything Man

Unlike John Cusack (who would never lie to you), The Say Anything man in your life will do just that … say anything to get in your pants or in your heart. You know the type, it’s your second date and he’s telling you the names he has picked out for his future children, how he wants to settle down, and how he’s never met someone as wonderful as you in his entire life.

If you find yourself in this situation, think twice … people that desperate to make a connection so fast generally fizzle out in time. Of course there are always exceptions – your intended could be dead serious when he showers you with compliments – but it’s always a good rule of thumb to take things slow and get to know a person before letting your fantasy life run away with you.

Say Anything Men can come from all signs … but be especially aware of Gemini, the smooth talker of the zodiac.

The Slashie (Actor/Model/Musician)

Ahh Fabio … the original “model slash actor, and not the other way around.” Guys that fit this description tend to be pretty, artistic, sensitive, and charming … with enough self absorption and low self-esteem to fuel a jumbo jet! You’ll get more than you bargain for with these charmers, and don’t expect to come first in their priorities. But if you’re looking for one night with a handsome stud, look no further.

Successful artistes are definitely fun to date … you get to go to all the fabulous parties and have enough material to make your girlfriends jealous on a continual basis. Waiters waiting (pun intended) for their big break are also fun because if they do reach stardom, you get to ride the meteoric rise. Possible red flags to look out for: they are really intense, brooding and angsty (but some girls dig that), and conversations generally start and end on them.

Slashies come in all sorts of zodiacal varieties, but Leo, Aries, Scorpio, and Pisces seem to be repeat offenders.

The Einstein Intellectual

Congratulations, you’ve found yourself a geek. Geeks are always good because generally speaking, you’re probably the hottest thing they’ve ever dated and they treat you well because of it. Sensitive and shy with a wicked wit, oftentimes they are that amazing conversation that you always want to have with a guy.

Geeks these days are not the poindexters of yesteryear … many wear ironic t-shirts and live in the hip areas of town. You see them in tea houses or Starbucks with Macbooks as they work on their freelance graphic design or software programming projects. They spout all sorts of useful information, if you’re into science.

Only downside with geeks … shyness, and they’re just too nice. Everyone knows nice guys finish last. If you can get your geek to be assertive and throw in some manly aggression here and there, this could work out quite nicely … just be prepared for nights defeating shadowbeasts on The Legend of Zelda.

The zodiac players most often associated with nerdiness tend to be Gemini, Sagittarius, and Pisces… but you may need to see where Mercury falls in their chart to be sure.