Here’s How To Stand Up for Yourself

You Are Your Own Superhero

If you’re waiting for that one amazing person who will protect you from harm, stand up for your feelings and maintain order in your life when everything starts to go wrong, you just need to look in the mirror. You’re the only superhero who’s truly up to the task. You should stand up for yourself. And if you think you can’t do it, think again!

Hear Your Distress Signal

You may think that the person you’re dealing with has your best interests at heart, but if they are pushing you one direction, then another, or simply just pushing you away, it’s very possible that they don’t. You can’t rely on them to be your superhero, because what they’re doing doesn’t make you feel good, whether it’s intentional or not.

As such, it’s important that you be tuned in to your own emotions and experiences. Consider how often these negative encounters happen, and how bad they make you feel. An accidental annoyance is one thing, but if someone is intentionally or repeatedly causing you distress, then it’s time to speak up. If you’re having trouble discerning how you feel, turning to your spiritual practices — whether they be meditation, Tarot, or any other personal rituals — may be able to help you get in touch with your deeper emotions.

Review the Evidence

If you want to stand up for yourself, you first need to review the facts. Think about the moment that this person made you feel bad. What did they say? How did you respond? What could each of you have done differently? Sort out your thoughts. If you can, documenting your analysis in a journal or on a piece of paper could be helpful. Once you’re done, pick a time to confront this person.

State Your Case

If someone is being a jerk, you certainly need to call them out on it — especially if they’re a major part of your life. Tell them how their actions or words made you feel, and give them specific examples. Then tell them how you feel they could have handled the situation better. This is important — they need to know that they’ve hurt you, but they also need to know what you would have liked them to do instead. When you stand up for yourself, you need to set clear boundaries. Tell this person what behaviors and actions you’re absolutely not okay with, and if they love and respect you, they’re unlikely to do it again.

Listen to Their Side

There are two sides to every story, so give the person you’re speaking to a chance to explain their point of view. Really listen to what they have to say. You don’t have to be a bully to stand up for yourself, and listening to the opposite perspective can help you reach a compromise. This isn’t about winning or villainizing the other person — it’s about understanding and developing a healthy respect for each other.

Assess the Damage

At this point, the other person will either retaliate or apologize. If they refuse to admit that they could have done anything wrong and instead push you more, then you have a real problem on your hands, and you may want to consider ending your relationship with this individual. However, if they apologize immediately and want to reach a middle ground, you have a strong foundation to work from. There are some people who aren’t willing to show respect to others. Unfortunately, when you’re dealing with someone like that, you can stand up for yourself all you want — it won’t make your relationship better.

Treat Yourself Better

Believe it or not, the way you treat yourself plays a huge role in how others treat you. If you don’t respect yourself, others are significantly less likely to respect you. For instance, when you beat yourself up over little mistakes, you’re more likely to accept it when others are hypercritical of you, and when you feel unworthy of a good relationship, you’re less likely to end up in one. In short, you teach people how to treat you, and standing up for yourself reinforces your value and self-respect. So, if someone treats you poorly, call them out on it. If they treat you well, reward them with affection and attention.

It’s Important To Stand Up for Yourself

Remember, you are your ultimate superhero. Stand up for yourself and show people that you deserve respect and more. If you don’t advocate for yourself, who will?

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