While men worry most that his next sexual experience may be his last, men have many fears: penis size, performance, sex toy replacement, impotence and more!
Could This Be the Last Time?
Men have many fears when it comes to sex. However, there is one grand daddy of them all, which ties into all others. This is the fear that the next sexual experience a man has may very well be his last. This is because sex is a man’s confidence, sanity, and connection (intimate bond) to his wife, girlfriend or partner. This is how us guys see it:
Size Matters
Men have come to an understanding that penis size has to do with satisfying a woman enough to have sex with her again. If he is unable to produce the level of satisfaction she needs with his particular year and model of equipment, she may very well tell him to “go fish.” Each time he imagines this happening, he sees the available catches in the sea dwindle along with the perceived size of his manhood.
Poor Performance
A guy who thinks he is failing to perform to his partner’s satisfaction is living in constant fear that they may find a better (or bigger) companion. A man wants to be an all-in-one package: a good provider, husband, father and sexual companion. If he fails to fulfill any of these requirements, he sees himself as less of a man. The result is less confidence at home, work, and more stress, which will only lead to a more permanently malfunctioning piece of equipment. A man’s mind is his worst enemy when it comes to good sex.
Replacement
Men fear that sex toys could become more competition then they bargained for. Sex toys have a love/hate relationship with many men. We like them and agree that they can add to the experience. However, we are also fearful that one day we will come home, randy with excitement to make love to our wife, girlfriend, or partner and find her smoking a cigarette on the couch with a vibrator tucked underneath her arm.
Not Being “The Best”
Worse than being replaced by an electronic device, is not even making the cut in comparison to all the other men in our partner’s history. A man may not ever ask, but he is always wondering if he is the best that his partner has ever had. The truth may never come out, and in fact, it is sometimes better that it doesn’t. The good news is that there is always room for improvement, and most guys take direction quite well. Keep in mind, direction can be as simple as smiling when he is in the right ballpark, and making an icky, frowny face when he’s somewhere in Antarctica.
Disappointment
Men hate the look of disappointment on their partner’s face while they are sweating and grunting, and nothing seems to be working for her. And yes, we do care about your orgasm. In our selfish way, your pleasure adds to our own, so we do aim to please. If a man is constantly coming up with poor moves, and your direction seems to be more negative than positive, it may be time for some gentle step-by-step instructions to get him on track.
Broken Equipment
There are few moments that bring swift tides of panic, like the anticipated failure of his equipment. For every man there will eventually come a day when his little man refuses to come out and play. He may be drunk, crabby, or too busy concentrating on holding in the pending explosion from the chili cheese dog he had for lunch. Men see their manhood as an extension of their machismo. He can’t imagine any woman wanting to stay with him if he were to become feminized by a limp ligament. To keep this from becoming an ongoing problem, get his mind off his lagging performance by changing gears and finding a new task for his attention, such as oral, kissing, or just cuddling.
Sexual Incompatibility
Every man has looked at the amount of sex he is getting in comparison to the amount he wants, and wondered if he is compatible with his partner. She may seem perfectly happy with once or twice a week (or month), but he’s not. This is a stressful situation, as he can only imagine the time in between growing longer. Studies show that early in relationships; sex boosts a man’s ego. However, it tends to make a woman more self-conscious about her body, and less enthusiastic about the act itself. It is important for women to understand that men do not count the moles on your breasts, or dots on your thighs. Women are sexy with all their imperfections, so please don’t sabotage your early experiences because of an overactive subconscious!
“Explore your definition of sexy. Be sexy! Push out those thoughts of flaws and think irresistible.” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435
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33 thoughts on “His #1 Sex Fear”
lovemaking is a beautiful thing and has nothing to do with age if you are in love with this man he will make you feel like you have reached heaven with his very tenderness and yours as well in all areas of your life all that about anatomy has nothing to do with real love which is blind and the person is often on your mind sex to me is sex or lust. ok if need be but i myself prefer authentic!
sagittarius woman and virgo man-compatible/
WOW! I”m in a relationship with a Large size man and there are some fitting problems
but we try other things and we find it very satisfing.
thank you for this info I hope it opens up other forms of relateing for others.
Well I have to be honest. I have always liked oral sex from a woman and sometime giving (dedends on who the female is).
Sex is great its after that i hate. Its always he is in a hurry or late. gotta run ill call u later. Later never comes
I agree the best sex is in the mind! Treat each experince and person as an individual pleasure! Set out to please and be open to being pleased, providing no harm comes to any body then enjoy the meal !!! GRZZZZZ
there’s something that had been forgotten- my hubby lost interest for a whole year after he had a large amount of muscle removed from his leg- along with a cancerous tumour- and it coincided with my menopause- I didn’t realise but abstinence from penetrative sex at that time makes it difficult later on- and can make it very painful for both parties as it doesn’t lubricate properly- for a while he wouldn’t even try again because it hurt and even using artificial aids it apparently isn’t the same for him- and also since the cancer he tires very easily as well so is often too tired to play or his painkillers kill the mood
sex toys are enjoyable for both men and women, I can visualise her expressions of satisfaction while using the same, and when she achieves the orgasm then i think it is worth to have one while playing the game of love. men, pl do not hate sex toys, they are giving pleasure to your partner.
This is a great article. I think sometimes we are so caught up in our own experience we don’t often think about what is going on with our partner. I loved the line “It is important for women to understand that men do not count the moles on your breasts, or dots on your thighs. Women are sexy with all their imperfections, so please don’t sabotage your early experiences because of an overactive subconscious!”. Sex should be fun and full of laughter and an activity where you can let yourself go. Being worried about perceived imperfections can ruin that.
Hi,
I think guys are much more insecure than anyone thinks and this article
sheds even more light on that fact.
This is why they lie, to get into relationships. However it backfires on them when
it only makes them look like losers.
Men hide in fear that they wont be good enough all the time. Size, although it does matter, is not the top factor in love making. like ive always said, if you know how to use it right and be able to please in other ways, size can be over looked. A man who knows what hes ding is what a women is most looking for. My vibrator although it does WONDERS it isnt the sole factor to my pleasure. My boyfriend, not that big, can still get me off because he knows what hes doing. Dont be afraid of how small it is, learn the techique and your in the clear.
Hey here is onemore for you out there. Just wanted to mention this so all the men out there might not go through what I’ve been through. No one complains about the sex thing probably a couple yrs. The one thing a man hates is this “my body is ugly” after a long time with one another the guy if he hadn’t left its simply because some of us understand the girl they are with might gain a pound or twenty but they are still the one they stopped their life for. We are still proud of the girl we’re with and time does have its way of making everyone fill settled. So If your reading a book or you want to watch something like Ann of green gables this what makes you who you are the person that he found to be someone he realy wanted if this is over your head read it a couple of times there is men out here that works their tail off and they don’tcare when they come home if your wearing a T-shirt pair of undies on you look real good to his sore eyes I’ll teell you right now to hold and get some good rest then talk.
Agreed Tiffany!
Sheilam, I used my five free minutes recently, had no problem. Now , I knew five minutes was not going to be enough to even start on the conversation and anticipating, I would want more, di give them my card ahead of it, so when the time was over all I had to do is press the number on my phone and continue talking. Loved the reading. Will do it again !!!
Yes, for the most part I found the article to be very informative. However it was quite obvious this blog was written by a man. I had a hard time believing that mens objective is first and foremost to please his partner. Oh it may start out that way but eventually it’s really all about them. I don’t think I’m too far off on this. I have a few body issues and my partner knows this. He has often driven those issues home during just about every domestic fight weve had. After being together for 11 years those issues seem to me insurmountable now, to the point where I’m no longer able to just relax and enjoy our love making. I’ve always made sure to encourage him and help him through any issues that may complicate his mind. Unfortunately I have become quite dysfunctional in the bedroom. I feel that I’ve gone backwards in my sexuality, due to the mental and emotional abuse Ive endured through the years. I feel undesireable and ugly now where once I felt somewhat sexy. the point I would like to make here is that women are just as confidence fragile and have fears similar to that of men. It’s important for couples to listen to eachother and If each aimed to please alot of those problems would resolve themselves.
To me sex toys are just a piece of the man or woman. Why settle for a piece of them when you can get the whole man or woman.You can’t marry a piece of something , The cost in batteries would get to be to much, their is nothing to hold on to just a string it self and the toy, it wont talk to you.
i enjoy fore play with my wife and when she begs for more igive it to her
very interesting article…. never knew it was like this for men …. hmmmm something to think about
Coming from a man, this is very enlightening and helpful to me as a woman, with
all of the self-consciousness about body loook, aging, etc. I am not in an intimate
relationship at the moment, but the recent one was very sexually, emotionally
satisfying, as was the marriage while it lasted. Sexual intimacy is one of the most
challenging, yet, if right, most satisfying mentally, physically and emotionally.
Nice article, Eric
Broken Equipment :
” There are few moments that bring swift tides of panic, like the anticipated failure of his equipment. For every man there will eventually come a day when his little man refuses to come out and play. He may be drunk, crabby, or too busy concentrating on holding in the pending explosion from the chili cheese dog he had for lunch. ”
Funny……but true….nd he may just simply be tired.
I had to sit a good friend down some years ago and explain to her that just because her fiance didn’t try to ” jump her bones “, and ” couldn’t rise to the occassion ” , ( in her words ), that it was NOT because he didn’t find her desirable,……
…. it was because he worked outdoor road/highway construction allday in the hot summer sun and was exhausted when he got home at night after work….and his ” little man “, ( Eric’s words ) was simply too exhausted to want to come out to play…..LOL LOL.
Sure, he was in his early 30’s….looked rough & tough, rode a Harley…but he wasn’t a machine made of steel.
Once she eased up on him as soon as he walked thru the door, and let him cool off,
eat some dinner…..the libido and sex improved.
Thanks for the input. I’m in a new relationship with a guy and yes, do become self-conscious about my body. His is “perfect”, mine, eh, not so much.
how about never gettting any so you have to resort to your toys
The first time is never the best. Give it a few tries to find your compatibility with each other.
hi this is happing in my relationship I want sex he tells me he is tired he is the same age as me could he be cheating on me? or is he going through menopause? he is 48
In my country, although it is not a strict obligation for a woman not to have any experience in sexual matter before the mariage , women’ s sexual freedom is never allowed. I guess this solves men’s “problems” once and for all..
excellent thank you for sharing
A friend of mine told me once the best sex she had was no sex. She and her partner did everything but penetration and she said it was the most explosive sexual experience of her life. I tried it with my partner at the time and WOW! all the walls come down no expectations only explorations. This experience changed how I view sex…
This was a very helpful article. Thanks for he insights into what men fear most in the bedroom. Who knew?
What a great article, Eric, thank you!
I love and appreciate my boyfriend so much, but this article makes me feel even more love and appreciation for him.
Thank you.
Jessica
Remind the men that the brain is the biggest sex organ and if the couple boosts each others libido with affirmations of their love and fidelity then that is the first best piece of advice. Then quit comparing as it suits no purpose. If each is sincerely trying to satisfy the other and listening to what it takes then that goes a long way toward improving relations.
Its all a scam couldn’t get my free five minute reading without a credit card. They wanted me to buy 30min. Of talk time. They just want your info so they can charge you. They didn’t give me my free reading they don’t honor what they advertise!!!! SCAM!!!
After i ready my horoscope iwas offered a free five minute reading with one of their psycics but before I could get that they wanted a credit card and tried selling me thirty minutes of talk time. I told them to start off i just wanted to experience my free five minutes to see if I liked it or not. They wouldn’t give me my free reading without a valid credit card!!! What a scam!!! So needless to say they didn’t honor what they were advertising!!
One of the best pieces I have read on the sexual issues and how things are viewed by a man. It is written in a very informative way without being crude like so many.Thanks for the insight and an idea or two.