History or Mystery?

Is the One You Were With Stopping You Getting With Someone New?

You’ve been with your man or woman for the past five years or so, and then the worst happens—they break up with you.

Time passes, and a healing of the heart takes place. Soon a new person comes into view. Just as you get the new potential love in your sight, the person with all the history comes knocking on your door. What the heck do you do? Do you embark on the mystery or do you revert back to the history?

And here’s where the saying “been there, done that” takes on a whole new meaning. It’s hard to leave the comfort of the known to explore the facets of the mystery person. The unknown is a scary place. Or do I just sit home night after night waiting for the history to come back or do I venture out into the world and create a new mystery? Let’s face it the mystery at some point is going to become the history and sooner or later you are back in the same space you were before the break up.

I am not going to make it easy to decide who to pick when the opportunity occurs – I will however give you direction and guidance in how to make a good decision based on the knowledge you have accumulated while you were crying and putting cucumber slices on your eyes so they don’t look puffy. And that’s where the term metro-sexual comes from, by the way.

First and foremost, be honest with yourself. Do you love the history? Was the break up because he/she had to go overseas for a time and felt it was better to end it than to try to keep it up? Or was there a horrid fight without resolve? Did you talk after the break up, did you get the big “C” word “closure” or was it “give me the keys” and go bye-bye baby?

Can you forgive and forget, start fresh and move forward with the history?

Okay mystery on board, hot, good-looking, smart, sweet and working, all the things we would like for a potential partner to embody. Getting to know you, getting to know all about you… what fun that is! Sometimes, getting to know the mystery is like peeling an onion layer by layer, and the more you uncover, the stinker it gets. Or, on the flip side, it can be like opening a present with lots of boxes in the boxes and a real surprise is inside, like a good heart and lots of love.

For some reason I think the love gods enjoy giving us the dilemma of having to pick who we want to be with. Is the comfort of the history the right choice or the excitement of the mystery your new pleasure?

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