Is Your Husband Rethinking Your Marriage?
Do you feel like your relationship has taken a downward turn and that your husband may be looking for the nearest exit? If so, it’s time to take a hard look at how you may have contributed to the state of your relationship. Let’s look at a few choices and behaviors many women make and do in their marriages that push their husbands away and even out of their marriage.
Controlling and Nagging
You may get what you want if you nag your husband enough. And you may keep him from doing things you don’t like if you control his every move, but you can be sure that he will resent you (if he doesn’t already). The best way to make your husband feel suffocated and trapped is to take away his ability to make choices and to comment on everything he says, does, eats, drinks and wears. Keep it up and he’ll be dreaming about the single life!
Pushing Him to Change
True love means accepting and loving your partner as they are. Yet many women try to change the men they’re with. Maybe you pushed your husband to change jobs, go to the gym or dress better. While you may think you’re pushing him to improve himself, you husband may think you’re ashamed of him or that he is not worthy of your love. The truth is, no one changes unless they want to. If he does change because you want him to, he will grow to resent you. He may also leave you for someone who accepts him just the way he is.
If you ask him to change, will he resent you forever? Psychic Dave ext. 8018 knows.
You Stop Caring About Making Him Happy
It’s easy to get comfortable in a relationship, and there is nothing wrong with being comfortable around your husband. But there is such a thing as getting too comfortable. You still need to put an effort into pleasing him, loving him and making him happy. Both of you should continue to work to provide each other with the basics of a loving relationship. Everyone wants to feel needed, attractive and cared for. If you have stopped treating your partner this way, they may seek out someone who will.
He’s Your Scapegoat
Sometimes when life gets rough we lash out at the innocent people closest to us. If you’ve had a bad week at work, don’t take it out on your husband. If he isn’t the direct cause of your stress or disappointment, there’s no reason to treat him like he is. It’s abusive and he’ll only be able to take so much before he is out the door and looking for someone who is kind to him.
Stop lashing out at innocent people. Psychic Michelle ext. 5396 can help you learn to control your anger.
You Don’t Appreciate Him
Appreciate your husband and all that he does for you. You won’t have everything you want, and you may feel like something is missing, but don’t harp on that and make him feel bad about it. When you spend years with someone, it’s easy to take them for granted. Instead, appreciate the benefits he brings to your life. Don’t focus on his faults or your relationship’s problems. Each lack of courtesy, oversight or apathetic response is a little wound. If you make a conscious effort to focus on your husband’s strengths, efforts and accomplishments, you’ll be able to weather any storm together.
Find out if your marriage is headed for divorce. Psychic Yvonne ext. 9883 knows what’s in your husband’s thoughts.
70 thoughts on “Why Your Husband Wants to be Single”
Many times a woman/wife is perceived as being a nag, controlling, not appreciative and so on simply because the man has reverted to who he really is. The same man and manners that won that woman usually keeps her. And keeps her sweet.This goes both ways.
We can all get too comfortable in our closest relationships and forget how we treated our beloved before we committed to them.
I believe we all want to be appreciated etc. , not just men. Many women I know complain of those same offences dished out by their husbands.
Lol lol “” my ole my “” I knew this would be a HOTT topic lol lol … Once again I agree with ALL of thee above FROM up above … Except 4 with me if you cheat that’s a 1 way ticket out 4 my a-s 2 check – mate their a-s … FYI I want ever be back either lol lol … FYI This is why I’ve been = why I’ve stayed single 4 so long lol BCZ I was working out ALL of my kinks 1st & on my own 2 … 2 funny lol lol … 😉 😉
Yes, it does work both ways and as much as Nina seems to have the ideal situation, a spouse who values her that she can go with softness, many men and women find that those little quirks, even after a few years, sometimes of living together when younger, become deeply ingrained and highly magnified as the person gets older. Look at it this way, there wouldn’t be nagging on either part if both did what they had to do, or there would be open communication to discuss, again negating the nagging. Often one side or the other becomes “too content” and forgets it’s a partnership like a job, you want the paycheck, you do the work, well you want loving, you love back, you don’t sit back and take the money, affection and leave at 5pm Friday. Especially narcissistic personalities of men and women, they can hide it well until all hell breaks loose when you realize you are in the middle of crazy, from spending to the friends. I watched my parents marriage fall apart and vowed to never be a “nag”, I never tried to change, I went softly with issues and the result was his way or the hi way, I went his way for years then one day thought where did my friends go, why did I always cancel events with my friends because he complained how much he didn’t like their husband but I was expected to socialize with his friends whenever. Why wouldn’t he take a “hey you look really sexy in the turtleneck and blazer” comment and run with it knowing what would happen that night, but heaven forbid I get my hair cut a few inches and slightly different style and then the holidays, Valentine’s day, anniversaries, AFTER the wedding the expectation was he did his job to “catch” me so now it was expected I do it all for him to enjoy, even vacations, always where he wanted, then complain when I nagged about the work load, but he would cancel my planned vacations “for lack of money”. It works both ways because I have an acquaintance who is the same way with her husband. Sometimes it is what it is and you need to move forward and just learn.
I have been married for over 16.5 years and even though I was the great wife and mother who did everything including cook on game nights for him and his friends, he cheated continually and now has a child with a young female who got mad at me for telling her that he’s married. Some men lose the good women in their lives because they won’t grow up and be responsible. I’m living proof.
Some men are narcissistic. Their secret desires are purely to satisfy their egos- any way they can. They lie to get your money, into your pants, anything they can get from you. If they think you will make them look good, like the trophy wife, they will marry you. Doesn’t matter how good to them you are, they will look for the next female they can use and abuse. Good men are hard to find. Watch for the red flags: pushing you into sex quickly, wanting to move in with you too fast, not listening to them when you say NO, only talking about themselves, their eyes on younger women as you sit having dinner, lying to you, sneaking around to text, taking drugs and hiding it from you, not wanting to talk about their education level (because of dropping out of middle school), not being interested in your interests, having several profiles on dating sites, having more than one cell phone. . .God the list just goes ON and ON. BE CAREFUL. 100 women are raped in the USA every minute, but only 16% go reported and it’s younger girls most likely to be victimized. Watch your daughters closely. If your daughter becomes sullen, depressed, unable to sleep, angry, refusing to go to school . . .these are signs she has been sexually assaulted and has not told anyone. Don’t be a victim. If you get married, get a prenup because he can take your credit cards and his and rack them up and then you will have ruined credit. In the Prenup. it must say his debt and tax debts are HIS problem and you will not be responsible for his financial failings. Trust me, think with you head and not your heart because that’s when they have you trapped and screwed up for possibly the rest of your life.
men want out because after they marry their beloved girlfriends, they turn into buyme everything and file their passion in the trash. I don’t know one couple that split when they put the other partner 1st….wanna stay married/….chef in the kitchen-whore in the bedroom and be reasonably frugal and realistic in their financial life….its a partnership…both have to be reasonable….figure out your quirks before you tie the knot…don’t mesh…don’t do it…..
Hi,
I read all your comments here. I started to cry coz i still feel the pains. We knw eachother for almost two years after we get married. I accept him, i dont nagg at all. But i felt so unsecured coz many times i saw his action differently that why i thought he changed. But for being with him for more than 5years he lied many times, i heard humor at when i work at night his out of house saying he wen to gym but i was there his not there. He traveled i saw he tried to hide a pack of complete set of woman things bec their is handcream, woman perfume etc and that is not the things i pack. Then i found out different phones and sim cards he used, then i check his phone who is the person he sending sms its a girl. Emails and their pictures. I was so depress wondering why? All i knw is bec i try to help my family. We make agreement that i will try to tell him where my money goes even he paid apartment and i pay food. But then i saw his account he barrow money to other girls. Wondering why he is like this, when it comes to my money and everyday activites i told him. Coz i dont want he missed any important even in my life. I try to talk to him calmly but he shouted me everytime i ask and see something. Even the money he send to this girl. He hide frm me. Aside frm the bank. He send in western union. I always cry coz i really try to understand him but i can trust the person i love. Is there any in. This world like this kind of set up. Because iam not handling money then i do deserved to be like this. I try to follow what he said, find jobb, finish school and pass norwegian exam but now its my fault. I try to this for us coz i want to help. Take driving exam etc. I tried to be a good wife and still not good enough. I feed up and feel unvaluable. All i knw communication, honesty, loyalty and openness are two of us so iam wrong. I hope i get over the pain. I move out. I can take anymore and he said if i love him just accept him!how can i accept? If only me is open?huhu so hard to comply the men
Its not men who want to leave but women. Men are such a**h**es .
Kary, I loved your comment. You are so right.
Men are selfish and do not give. This is my second marriage and have a 13 year old son from my first marriage, moved country for the second one, gave up my 100K job. And now am left with nothing but selfishness and jealousy for my son and me. All promises have been broken!
I am shattered! No job, far from family and listen to his nonsense!
Men are such f***ers!
All you can do is forgive and move on all said and done. I have never been married but have seen what it does. Communication is one and love and respect try to make it work. We live and learn now move on. Ask the universe.
Wow! What a great exchanges of views and opinions. From here alone we can relate and get good points. But the basic is, know your man first before getting into marriage.
Wow… I am so sick of how it’s always the woman’s fault. What planet are you living on? Men these days are asking “Did you go to the gym? You need to loose weight. Are you really going to wear that? What’s wrong with your hair?” etc. They often want us to make more money, but still not have more say. Some men are so selfish and demanding, but don’t dare a woman ask for anything including a man to be a real man and not a boy.
Very Well Said, Thank you for the Article:)
I think part of the unspoken point of this article is that if you don’t love and accept your husband exactly the way he is before you marry him, then don’t marry him. If you see some small thing in your potential marriage partner that you would like to change, then you need to hold back on getting married until that situation has been corrected. Marrying someone is the ultimate sign of acceptance. In a certain way it’s kind of unfair to marry a man and then tell him by the way here’s a laundry list of things that I want you to change about yourself. I’ve met a lot of guys who have gone through this kind of situation and their first complaint is that all the problems their wife complains about were already present before the marriage. Of course this applies to both genders. If the women you’re dating isn’t exactly the person you want to marry before you marry her, don’t marry her.
I will make allowances for when somebody dramatically change is personality over the course of a marriage. This can happen because of trauma, physical injury, mental health issues, physical health issues, spiritual and religious changes, economic changes, sexual changes, and just plain aging. These things do have an impact on our personality and behavior. What is the person that you married is no longer the person they were a decade ago, and they are not willing to change (after having been given more than adequate time to do so), it’s time to file for divorce. Sometimes we need to keep in perspective that marriage, while it is about love and connection, is also about two people who can have a better life together than apart.
THIS IS SUCH BULLS***!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY WANT TO PLAYHOUSE ,THEN WHEN THEY CHANGE THEIR MINDS JUST GO TO THE OTHER PLAYGROUND LIKE A 5 YR OLD, MY SO-CALLED HUSBAND ONLY MARRIED ME COS MOMMY DIDNT WANT HIM HE WAS23 HER OTHER KIDS IT WAS OK TO LIVE WITH HER. THEN I FIND OUT AFTER MARRYING HIM HIS LIVE IN GIRLFRIEND DUMPED HIM SO HE WANTED TO LASH OUT AT ME , 27 YRS . NOTING BUT HELL, YES VERY DUMB FOR STAYING I TOOK VOWS VERY SERIOUS. HE CHOOSE TO CHEAT NOTING AT THE HOME OR ME WAS WRONG,YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY AWWW,,, DON’T NAG, I DIDN’T AND IT GOT ME NOTING BUT TRASHED BY HIM FAMILY COS HE LIED TO GET HIS WAY. SLU&S THINKING THEY WAS COMING IN MY HOME TO TAKE OVER, YEA, LIKE THAT WAS GONNA WORK OUT. AT THIS POINT I RECLAIMED ”ME” I FLAT OUT TOLD HIM ”””””””NO MORE””””””’ THE HURT, GUT WRENCHING PAIN, CLOSE TO DYING BEING THERE FOR EVERYONE ELSE BUT HIS WIFE, YOUR SO CALLED SOLUTION TO BLAME FEMALES TO FAST SAYS ALOT ABOUT YOU, TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT YOURSELF FIRST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been married for 34 years. The mistake that some people make is that they get married too soon before knowing the person well enough. My wife and I knew each other for two years before we got engaged. The physical attraction does not last forever and many people put too much emphasis on sex and the warm fuzzies. Get to know your mate before you marry and divorce can be avoided.
Wow! I read all the comments. Men are ^+€*>*£¥¥£!!! That’s been my experience as well. The more I give, the more they take and the less I’ve received. Men are selfish and self absorbed. Period. We women inherintly give. We nag because men don’t give. Men do the bare minimum to get by in established relationships. Men are cheaters by nature. Pair bonding doesn’t exist in humans. I was married 27 years. He cheated on me and stole most of our acquired wealth , then threw our daughter and I to the curb. I’ve been single 8 years now and have met nothing but selfish porn addicted man boys. I’m in my 50’s meeting men in their 40’s,50’s,60’s. None of them are mature respectful grown men. I’m not alone in this. At all… All my single girlfriends report the same thing. Men don’t deserve ass kissing, they deserve ass kicking.
Surena…I totally agree with you on everything you said ..its so true…I couldnt have said it better myself….men …grow up!!! Its not only about you and what you want !! And mamas boys are the worst kind !!!
My husband r now seperated…. I left him… Why can’t I get over it why can’t I just let him go….. Yes he cheated and does not want to be married anymore so my I moved out Ruth my daughter……. Why can’t I let go 15 yrs today …………. Just why ????????
Sometimes life has to teach us all. Always give your 100%, that way no one can blame you for not doing your part. It is a must that man and woman start giving their partners exact same treatment they would like to have. It’s called a relationship. Both parties are responsible for the security of their relationship. As women, we tend to demand respect and some have no voice for it. We must understand that we are different from a man. It has been that way from the beginning of time. There is no excuse because God gave man sense to know, but understand that we can’t expect for him to think as we do. We have different things about us that he tries to understand as well. So knowing that we are different should help you meet on a mutual ground with your man. Praise him for his effort so he knows that he’s doing right by you. So he will feel that he’s worthy. Some men don’t get it but for those that just need the understanding, hang in there for him. Believe it or not they do hear us and they can either take it in a negative way or a positive way. Its all how will address him. Be soft with your issue when you go to him. Let him know what bothers you and how much you would like for him to understand. Sometime the way we approach him can mean all the difference. If you do all that you know to do and it still doesn’t work then remove yourself. Don’t be confrontational, be pleasant. You can get more bees with honey. I speak from my experiences. Now I know what works. I learned to have a calm voice and not point the finger so vigorously. If I have an issue I go to him asking for change not only on his part but mine as well. But I do it in a loving, friendly way. This is the man you love, so treat it as such. For those who have a man who just doesn’t care no matter what then that means there is nothing you can do. And why waist such precious time when you can give it to a man who will care. It is all about choices and we need to learn how to pick better and wiser. True some change later into the relationship but realize we do too. Just pay attention, a man will show his self if you listen and watch. You can know what you’re going into before you get in and be bitter and be against all men.
Also forgot to add. I sold my house to move to foreign place Puerto Rico from Connecticutand left my 100k job to please her and it has only gotten worse now I have no job have another house that I had built for us but have no friends she has friends here her family and I have only her which would have been okay if she treated me better ,
Very good and to point. From a guys point what do you do when this is happening? And cannot figure out how to approach when female does not acknowledge that this is happening
Some men want to be single regardless of anything good you do.
I’ve put in my best in my relationship, pampered him, appreciated him, I stopped nagging and started praising him for the nice things he does.
I cook his fav meals, prepare his lunch, Make his fav smoothies every morning , but all I get is zilch, nada , nothing, just lies, cheating and late nights.
So I’ve let go.
I do agree with everything from above. Now I’m paying for everything. My husband cheated and left me with my two kids and move in with his lover and her two kids. Only time will heal my wounds.
These kinds of behaviors aren’t exclusive to women. My husband does a lot of what you’ve described, which is exactly why I’d like to be single more often than not.
That sounds like why I want to be single…my husband is the one doing many of these things to me. It isn’t just women who behave as described.
I have to admit that i am guilty of these crimes. my husband drank and took vicitin, when he drank he would be verbally abusive. I can’t take being made to feel like a crappy person when I know i am not. I left him and I have missed him every second of every day. due to our impasse we stopped having sex,stopped loving one another. he called me last nite and told me he went to rehab and quit both, he wants me back. can i believe that him being sober will last and what can i do to support him so we can get back to the loving relationship we used to have. i have known him all my life and we have been married 14 yr.
yes, if it is excessive. But on the other hand, if he is sloppy, drops everything everywhere, doesn’t clean up after himself, smoker, drinker etc. how does that make a wife feel. Is she supposed to be a maid, housekeeper or his mother, who didn’t teach him basic human obligations to respect others’ to live in harmony, and do everything for him and be happy? Oh, sure, don’t change a man, he is so precious, he is so right.
There is no single recipe to follow, if they love each other they must compromise, they must change, and still stay together. Men tend to be selfish, they seek for someone as for their mother, take care of them, cook and clean after them, raise kids for them, and some even find free sex elsewhere to entertain themselves, but when spousal/family obligations get heavier on them they seek for an exit and blame their wives for their failure.
I really think I pushed mines away
DO YOU THINK THAT I WILL GET MY MONEY BACK, FROM MY INSURANCE MAN.?
Very true. Relationship in marriage is about being equal and not about who is superior. Do not judge and react. Accept and what you have and adjust. Marriage is about mutual understanding and accepting the partner as they are. Fundamental truth one must accept is that not two individual are same. Humans are different. Each individual is different.
Are you kidding when your husband continues to act like a kid he is not going to get the respect your saying is do him. When he threatens to behave like a kids placing your home in danger he don’t get appreciated.
I feel this is one of your best articles yet! Although I am in early relationship now I am looking forward to making it a healthy and loving relationship as time progresses.
Some men want to be single regardless of anything good you do.
I’ve put in my best in my relationship, pampered him, appreciated him, I stopped nagging and started praising him for the nice things he does.
I cook his fav meals, prepare his lunch, Muskie his fav smoothies every morning , but all I get is zilch, nada , nothing, just lies, cheating and late nights.
So I’ve let go.
Helpful to read!
It is not another persons job to make somebody else happy. That is ridiculous..peope are responsible for their own happiness including husbands
Wow! All of these points are how my boyfriend treated me & I got sick of it. I kept telling him a relationship is like a plant, you need to take care of it if you want it to live. I have an innate understanding not to do these things you write about. But I’ve noticed men do them quite often.
Hi Alina,
I believe that your site has been hacked by a group of men because what has been written seems to come from deepest layers of a man’ heart. And NO woman accept to follow your suggestions. Sorry but I don’t think that they ae working at all.
Cheers
Bijan
my husband left me 5 months ago. he walked out of our marriage I tried everything but e doesn’t love me any more and say he is comfortable living on his own.im taking care of our children on my own… I feel he abandon all of us….I still love him we have been married for 27yrs.ughhhhhh how do I cope? I so want him to come home:( sincerely Tina Clearwater
Thank you Psychic Dave , for that beautiful artical on why husbands want to be single…. Real mind opening & inspiring.
It works both ways.
“Ditto: for all men who’s wives are re-thinking their marriage – and I think there’s probably more of women than men who are!
i haved obey enough is becoz of my poor backgrand pls if i do something funy nobody should blame me,is bater i die than stay alive suffer to death, oh! my God pls let this cup pass me by
Enough already why is it always the women’s fault? I the child has problems its the mother’s fault, if the husband isn’t happy it’s his wife’s fault for NOT Making him HAPPY really? Men are not children they contribute too knowing full well some one like you is going to define them which only contributes to that I am the victim behaviors of men. Really dud????
Works both ways. Just saying.
Great advice. The same goes for men too.
This goes for men as well, they are capable of doing all of these things and much more
Read
What if its you who feels this way from your hubby treats you this way?
I think this things are true for abusive husbands as well, many of them treat their wife in same manner as mentioned….but how foolish of wives, they expect husband will change instead looking for change….