10 Tips for Long Distance Love: Keep the Flames Kindled

If your true love is across the state, or across the world, keeping the fire stoked and the relationship viable presents a distinct set of challenges. Lots of people say that they want no part of a bi-coastal relationship, and some say it’s hotter than a supernova. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, or trying to decide if you can weather one, have a look at these tips to keep your romance viable:

1. Talk to each other every day, at a prearranged time. No excuses. You can talk more often, of course, and many couples do, but the prearranged “us” time has to be stress free and soft as enveloping each other in a silky comfort blanket.

2. Send quick e-mails – just a sentence or two. Your lover will treasure sweet words, including plenty of “I love you” and “You mean the world to me.” Serious issues to be discussed or resolved? Write them factually, leave out emotional recriminations, and remind your partner that you’re both working toward the same goals.

3. Arrange to visit. Time and budget constraints are troublesome, but this is priority. If your partner is an online lover, you may not be able to meet, and the relationship will remain a fantasy. Nothing wrong with that, but real lovers need real time together. Scrimp, borrow, or get a second job… but find ways to be together.

4. Thoughtful little gifts and real snail mail letters reach out and touch. Keep the mailman busy helping you two weave your bond of love. A lighthearted present from you to her is sharing a figurative touch. A long, newsy letter, done on pretty stationary with colorful ink, reminds him how lovely and special you are. Send photos.

5. Keep your promises and commitments. If you’re both sure you want to be true to each other, let no one lead you astray. Absolute trust is essential if this romance is to survive.

6. Watch a movie together, play an online multiplayer game, or find other distance-friendly entertainment. With many cell services offering unlimited calling, you can chat on the phone while you enjoy playtime.

7. When you are together, make the time as high quality as humanly possible. Set aside specific time to handle everyday business, child-raising issues, or other daily chores. It’s crucial that you spend lots of time touching, playing, loving, and talking to each other, about each other and about your love. Store up these precious moments to sustain you when the time comes to part again.

8. Be a good listener. When you’re together by phone, or in reality, focus on your partner. Listen reflectively, and make sure you’re 100% in the moment.

9. Get your mother, father, sisters, neighbors and friends to drop a quick note or e-mail to your loved one. Absence may make hearts grow fonder, but prolonged absences make visions of home life fade. Connecting to friends and family sharpens the vision.

10. Consider phone sex. Don’t laugh. Making phone love to each other, hot and heavy, is popular between couples separated by geography. Play out fantasies, explore untried pleasures. Make it as hot as you dare.