Where is My One and Only?
This seems to be the question that we singles ask this time of year. Even if we have good reasons why we’re alone at this moment, it doesn’t take away the feeling of “being without.” Here are a few tools to help get rid of that empty feeling:
1. The human condition: We’re constantly bombarded with fictitious images of couples on TV, in magazines, and in movies. There’s sometimes a value set on being a “couple,” and singles are made to feel less valuable. Solution: Separate fact from fiction. Sit down and really review your life, and check in to see if what you’re feeling is based on advertisement or entertainment. Look at the real questions: Are you ready to date? Are you doing anything to be more available?
2. Emotional needs: We as human beings need to be touched, held, and given companionship. Solution: Get more hugs! Get them from your kids, your friends, and your family. Don’t be afraid to initiate hugs, even if it’s not something you ordinarily do! This will help to clear that feeling of emptiness.
3. Where do I find love? If we’re in a rut of work/home, kids/home, or any rut at all, we tend to not be around available potential dates/mates. Solution: Create a window of time once a week to put yourself in situations that open you to meeting new people. A class in something you are curious about or one you want to improve your skills in, lessons in music, going to free music performances, even bowling. Go outside your comfort zone and seek out an adventure or two! There are groups for singles that have dinner together and go to movies together. If you have a hard time getting away from home, try online dating! The idea is to get more exposure to new possibilities, and therefore new people.
4. Are you ready? Sometimes this “feeling” descends from out of the blue. Solution: And sometimes it doesn’t automatically mean that you need a new love. Sometimes these feelings come up when your existing relationship isn’t providing what you need. This can mean time to sit down and re-evaluate that relationship in comparison to what you need and aren’t getting. It can also be a wakeup call that it’s time to date after a long period of being “out of the game.”
5. Putting it all together can be a challenge. It seems overwhelming to make these changes. Yet when we’re hungry, don’t we always find a way to “change our emptiness” by eating food? If you’re “hungry” for a one and only… you may need to make a trip to a class, or go online to get the “yummy” your heart deserves!
Bottom line, deal with the feelings first, if you still feel a new love is the solution, then take action to bring that opportunity to love into your life!
6 thoughts on “Lost and Lonely on Valentine’s Day”
Reed has VERY good points! Yes, media has no ethics, it only wants to sell product. Because there are so few places for folks to get real information it influences what so many people believe, it becomes hard to see the “real” goals to life. Reality becomes much more enjoyable if we are not holding up an impossible, and quite fictional, version of what we “Think it should be!” I think I’ll go read with Reed, I like his style!
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Great article Yemaya,
Reed made some excellent points as well…….
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500
Hi Yemaya,
Love your article, it can be so difficult to be alone during Valentines day, one of the easiest and fullfilling ways that I have found when being single during a holiday is try to create something fun for other single friends that may be struggling too, having a get togeather, create laughter, be around those that you feel a bond and connection with, you will find that others will be so glad to be around you, they dont want to be alone either, so throw a party, have some fun.
Blessings and Big Hugs!
Jacqueline x9472
Well done Yemaya. I especially like the first first point you mentioned – that we are constantly told that we must be in a relationship in order to be happy. So many movies end with the wedding scene – as if the wedding is the end-all-be-all of the human condition and once a wedding has taken place we are then guaranteed to live happily ever after. It’s all fairy tales but it works on our subconscious none the less.
Here are some signs that you might be suffering more from media exposure than from loneliness:
1. Do you believe that there is only ONE right person for you on the whole planet?
2. Do you believe that the only way you can ever be happy is if you are in a relationship?
3. Do you believe that all your problems will be solved once you are in a relationship?
4. Do you think to yourself, “I just want to be married, I don’t care to whom”?
If you find yourself in any of the above categories, it’s a good time to re-evaluate what you really want in your life. Once you do that, you’re more likely to find that relationship, and find it more quickly than would have been possible before.
Reed
ext 5105