Love and Communication

One of the biggest topics of interest to California Psychics callers is, of course, love. And when people in love are in a relationship, there is always a lot of room for misunderstanding. Even when both parties are doing their very best to communicate with the other, it is inevitable that there will be confusion. We have all seen people of similar age, with comparable religious, educational and socio-economic backgrounds, having problems making the other understand what seems to us to be the simplest of thoughts.

At least several times a week I have callers who want to know how to best make their significant other understand what their feelings are on a certain matter. Whether it’s the girlfriend trying to make the boyfriend understand why she really wants him to remember her birthday, or the man trying to get his wife to empathize with how much he really hates his job, both are endeavoring to get their viewpoint and emotions across to the other (and hopefully, convince them to feel the same way).

What the caller wants me to tell her/him is what their significant other will say when they are presented with the emotional statements. I can often tell them this, but many times I ask them why they just don’t sit down and talk about the matter. Have a heart-to-heart talk, I say. Just go ahead and let the other know how you feel, I recommend. After all, in a loving relationship, communication is crucial.

Quite often, a flabbergasted silence is what I get in return. What happens if the boyfriend says he doesn’t celebrate birthdays, the girlfriend asks? Or what would happen, the husband asks, if his wife gets panicky, thinking he might quit his job and not be able to get another one?

These are things you need to know if you’re in a relationship that you hope will continue. And these situations give you the opportunity, as well, to deepen your knowledge of each other and to clarify any misinformation the other may have.

Here’s something that works – I promise. When you feel that you need to convey or request information from your lover/significant other/spouse, take a few minutes and ask for their undivided attention. Tell them you’d like to discuss a certain matter. Calmly give them your request. Listen to their response. Repeat back to them the response that you heard. At this point, you should be able to ascertain if you have the information you need. If you do, great. If not, begin again with the same request, seeking more clarity.

The sad fact is that quite often we don’t trust the other individual to give us the respect of an honest reply. Sometimes, we may feel that we do not deserve an honest reply, or we fear the answer that we will get will be very disappointing. We let things stumble on as they are, while we wonder just what the other is thinking. We will often let things go, and later realize that our relationship did not deepen to any degree after the first six months or so.

Talk to each other. Let the person know that their feelings matter to you and that you want yours to matter to them. Delve more deeply into the type of person you have committed yourself to, and allow them to do the same. It’s only when we allow the trust and respect of communication that we foster growth in ourselves and our relationships. Dare yourself to communicate with love.