Can You Really Love Two People at Once?
Have you ever met someone who is attractive, quirky, sensible and sexy? You can’t help but be attracted to them and it’s a feeling you can’t ignore. It’s a feeling that ties your hands and makes you hopelessly fall for that person. Now, have you ever met that person while you were in love with someone else? Can you love two people at once?
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There could be fools around you who say that love happens just once in a lifetime. They may also say you can’ t love two people romantically at the same time. That just isn’t true. Love is more interesting and dynamic than that.
Love Has Undergone Changes
In the past few years, love has undergone more changes than the Coke bottle. Nowadays, love has many forms and people are less bothered about getting the approval of others, whether they be friends, parents, family or society. That is a good thing. But the real challenge is to figure out what kind of person is right for you.
Love the One You’re With?
There will be times in your life when you’ll feel like you are with the wrong person. There will be times in your life when you’ll feel like you’ll never find the right person. There may be a time in your life when you love two people at once. If you do, consider this advice from celebrated actor Johnny Depp, “If you love to people at the same time, choose the second one! Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.”
When it comes to love, it’s a must to find the right kind of emotional and mental connection. When you do, latch on to it and nurture it. It’s when you don’t really have that connection with your partner that a second person comes along dressed up as everything your partner isn’t and all that you’ve wished for.
Compare and Contrast
Compare your connections. Do a detailed analysis of the two loves in your life. What are the pros and cons of being with each? At different stages in life, we require different things from lovers. Do you feel like you’ve outgrown your first love? Will the second love be a good companion for your next life stage? If you feel like you’ve outgrown your partner, that may be the reason why you’re welcoming another lover into your life.
Tolerating the Distance
A lot of people tolerate the distance they feel from their partners and choose to live with it. But what they don’t realize is that they are doing something terrible to themselves (and their partners). If you tolerate the distance, you turn into an emotionally hollow person and this changes your outlook on love.
If you love two people, don’t ignore it. Don’t give up on the happiness you could have with someone else for a relationship commitment that is no longer working for you. They could be a coworker, neighbor or close friend. They could be your high school crush who’s suddenly back in your life.
More Than Just Lust
Please note, this feeling you have has to me more than just lust. You have to make sure you actually love two people! If it is more than lust, it needs to be given a chance to thrive if real love is important to you. You’ve fallen for someone else, and you need to search your feelings and find out why. What if they are the love of your life? Are you going to let an unhappy relationship get in your way? Are you going to let them pass you by? I’m not telling you to leave your partner, ruin someone’s life and abandon all your responsibilities. I’m asking you to consider what you may be missing in your current relationship and investigate what makes you really happy. All it takes is a little courage.
18 thoughts on “When You Love Two People at Once”
i was married for 35 yrs and found out my husband was having a affair with someone at work i tried everything to get him back but he kept going back to her and lying to me i have been divorced for 5 yrs now, well need less to say she got lung cancer and now has passed away now my ex wants me back but i said to him why now cause she is gone if you wanted me you would have stayed with me and worked our marraige out but you didnt found out he went to florida and married her in 2014 i cant be hurt like that again it will lill me the second time around if i took him back and he cheated on me again i will always love him but cant trust him and i dont know if i will ever get that back.
In my opinion and based on my relationship experience in the past or current marriage; it’s all depend on the people in the relationship- if their compatible or not ! will each person work on their differences because they care. However if you are in a relationship with a person that is impeding on your outer expressions and take it for granted you basically are willing to give your affection to an animal or those who appreciate it. I’m at a point of disappointment with my other half …I do have a significant other who has interest but he is in a committed relationship too..we both are basically obligated because of the vows an promise we made to people within our circle. I know from our attraction to each other it would break ties with who we are with now but I always say sleep and pray on it work on it because relationships are investments if your willing to put the time and effort in it! I do enjoy the attraction I get from the new interest though 🙂
I have been in this situation. After being married for over 20 years, I was now receiving emotional support and someone who appreciated my intellectual side. We were in love and no one else knew. We were soulmates and if things had been different we would have been together, but he passed away suddenly from cancer. He nourished my soul which is one thing I did not receive at home. Men don’t understand they need to work at the relationship. especially after a long period of time. Women need to know they are cherished, loved and appreciated for all the facets of themselves. I wasn’t getting that home although I had tried to speak to my husband about it, it just did not register to him what I needed. The other guy was a bad boy type which has always attracted me and he protected me. at home it seems I am the one who has to protect myself. although I am a strong female, I still want to feel protected by the man in my life. I loved this guy with my soul and I always will. Those we marry at 20 are not always the one we need 20 years later. My advise to men would be to show your ladies your cherish them and want to protect them. show them they are appreciated.
Wow! So disappointed at this post. After living through my husbands “friendship” with a co-worker and the horrific pain that we have both suffered following in his emotional affair it is sad to see recommendations. There are many reasons for getting into relationships most do not have anything to do with being in love. The sad thing is by the time the confused party realizes that it was a flirtation, infatuation, attention or maybe a midlife crisis they have damaged their primary relationship beyond repair. Johnny Depp is not right many times someone is attracted by the attention of a flirtation only to discover they really screwed up their lives, and the new “love” isn’t what they thought it was, by then it maybe to late to repair the damage.
I have had that issue for 6 years now, I love the second one and I can’t help it – only the Lord knows why, cause there sure aint any earthly reason why I should ( maybe he put her on my radar so I would have to experience not being able to have what I want – who knows ). But I will not give up my wife…I love her very much, I have 24 years with her, and I have a responsibility to She and God to stick with her ! besides: if I put her out to pasture for the second one, how could the second one ever trust me ?
Frances I’m so sorry that happened to you, however I’m single, and both men in my “triangle” are also single, so please understand that adultery isn’t involved in every “triangle.” I wasn’t even engaged to the first guy when I met the second, nor was I looking for another man–it just happened. Trust me, it’s not fun feeling torn between two people. Thank goodness for the people on CA Psychics who can “council” people like me, because this isn’t easy to go through, so I would appreciate it very much if you wouldn’t condemn the psychics for doing their jobs. It sounds to me like your husband was a player, and that’s an entirely different scenario then someone like me, who wasn’t in a committed relationship, but nonetheless has strong feelings for two men at the same time. And while I wish you the very best and sincerely hope you find someone who is worthy of you, please do not paint everyone in a romantic triangle with such a broad brush.
This was me. My husband & I loved each other but were not in love and had grown apart. I met a man completely different, who made me feel like a sexy, vibrant, desired woman again He was caring thoughtful, affectionate and sweet to me. I fell hard! He told me he loved me, made plans for us and asked me to get a divorce because he wanted me to spend the rest of my life with him. He even told his mom, I was the one! 2 weeks later, he said he wanted to slow things down. 3 weeks later, he broke up with me because he said he fell in love with his female roommate! Guess I got what I deserved!
Interesting…………..but its always amazing at the beginning of a new relationship. You may leave the first person only to find that the second person has flaws you werent aware of until later on. Then you cry and wish for the first person that you are now missing. You try to go back but maybe its too late……they are too hurt to love you again (or someone else has snapped them up) You’ve lost them. My advice stay with the first person unless its really really bad.
I’m in this situation now. My very first boyfriend has come back into my life and it’s a very controlled cloud 9. We are both Cancer, he’ June 30, 1953 and I’m July 3, 1954 can they co-exist together?
Thanks, Deb
Husband had a heart attack and stroke and cannot talk and has aphasia and in a nursing home. He has to be fed his meals.
Seeding another person friend whose wife just passed and is a widower. We knew each other from work.
Nicely put but consider this maybe both loves can last a lifetime especially if all three have the same outlook on love.
Thank you so much for these encouraging words….The timing was perfect for what I am going through.
Wow. Welcome to my world. While this may be great fodder for a soap opera, it’s not a lot of fun when it happens to you in real life and you have to make a choice, knowing which ever way you choose, someone will end up hurt.
We’ll I’m in a relationship, and what I feel that need’s a change is his character, and personality. I really do love him, because he makes me feel so good in bed all the time.
He can be really loving when he wants to be. I do hope that one day he will pretty much see the real me, inside of me. I just want to settle down in life, and do the right thing, and be happy with the man that I do love.
Good stuff, things alt of people need to hear.
I had been in a very distant relationship with my husband, I left and have never been happier. Now I have the chance to search for what makes me happy!!
I am so grateful for this article. The answer to my question came from Johnny Depps lips….If you really loved the first one….. He is so right! Very grateful
Its obvious you have not been with a person for 35 years and abandoned for another person. I always thought that we would grow old together. Foolish me. It was so easy for him to have affair after affair. Unbeknownst to me. i would have crawled to the ends of the earth for him. I trusted him and took my marriage vows seriously. No, you have no right to say go with your new partner. Instead you should have said, exhaust all resources to work out your feelings with your wife. The new partner only influences the outcome of that marriage coming apart. Shame on you! You are not a councillor!!!!!!
Forte Fortuna Adiuvat translation Fortune favors the Bold!