Man’s Manual: Get the Date

How to Win Her Heart

Relationship experts know a lot about practical dating. However, their method of describing it is usually in the form of a 150 page relationship book, filled with colored diagrams, soulmate projections, love quotes, and heart-shaped chapter numbers. Most guys don’t have time to read through this stuff, so to make life easier; I’m going to break down a simplified, ‘Cliffs Notes’ version of how to date a woman from the initial approach to the final planning stage.

Chapter 1: Assume She’s Interested

Confidence is at the core of every worthy man. If you are in an unfamiliar situation, and would like to get to know a woman better, you should assume interest first, and verify as you go. Women are complemented when a confident man expresses curiosity, whether she, herself, is interested or not. Once contact has been made, make every attempt to make her comfortable. The basic rules of attraction state that women are particularly drawn to men they are familiar with, similar to, or share proximity, such as attending the same school. This means that if you do not have any prior history, you must create a connection based on trust.

Chapter 2: Proposition While Comfortable and Relaxed

Studies show that women are repelled by stress hormones, just as much as they are driven towards confidence. What do guys feel when approaching a girl for the first time? Stress. You may think that the biggest difference between a creep and hunk is 25 pounds of muscle, thick wavy hair, and a pair of Robert Redford eyes. However, while physical attraction is certainly a part of it, first impressions are based on how you make a woman feel. Women can sense a guy who is anxious, and rather than sympathizing with his insecurity, she may pick up his discomfort as a threat.

Chapter 3: Move Cautiously; Look for Indications of Interest

Part of being a good date is being yourself. The other half is using your Spidey senses to judge when you need to back off or move forward. A woman will make it painfully obvious when she is not jiving with you. Occasionally, this can be an outside force you cannot control (menstrual, bad day, etc.). The idea is to base your next move on her reactions. The most common positive signals to watch for are her toes pointed in your direction, teasing with her hair/neck, leaning in your direction, mimicking your actions, and making suggestions about future dates you should go on.

“The eyes can be your most valuable tool in attracting a person. A wink, a shy glance, that come hither look. And then of course the smile.” – Quinn ext. 5484

Chapter 4: Don’t Over Impress

A lot of guys pull out all the stops on a first date. They take out a loan on their house to go to the best restaurant, lay their Armani coat in a puddle for her to walk on, and open every door they come across. By the time the third date rolls around, he is hinting about going dutch, walking three feet ahead, and waiting for her to get the door. There is nothing wrong with being yourself. However, if you have already built up a tall order of expectation, she may doubt your sincerity. A polished impression is always good. Just don’t overextend yourself into territory you will never live up to.

Chapter 5: Feign Mysteriously Difficult to Conquer

So much research has gone into the idea that women want what they can’t have. Add a dose of mystery and challenge, and you suddenly have the makings of becoming an object of her desire. A bit of mystery and danger is attractive to women, so long as it has some sort of safety net (public place, etc.). Women also like being engaged in a challenge, which may include a playful disagreement, or bid to prove a silly boast of yours to be untrue (“I can carry a dozen donuts without using my hands,” err, something like that).

Chapter 6: Inquire Once, Then Settle on a Plan

Women do not like a man who tells her what to do. However, they do like a man with a plan, and they like a man who has some prior knowledge of her interests to back up that plan. A man who is constantly asking a woman what she wants to do, his voice begins to have the faint tone of a dentist’s drill. This is why it is best to ask a woman once about the things she likes, and use this information to surprise her with original date ideas. Don’t worry, if she really doesn’t like something, she’ll let you know.

“Romance can be music, a lovely dinner, or walking along the beach. Find out what your romantic desire is and make it happen.” – Psychic TeriLynn ext. 9625

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