Have a Long and Happy Marriage
The best piece of advice on love and relationships I was ever given was this:
“It is very easy to love someone for their good qualities. It’s very easy to love someone for how smart or good-looking or wealthy or funny they are. The trick really is to find someone whose flaws you are okay with. We all have our idiosyncrasies, and it is important in a long-term relationship to be able to live easily with your partner’s imperfections—not just barely putting up with them, but genuinely having a lot of room in your heart and mind for them too. When you have room and acceptance of one another’s weaknesses, that allows for you to live and love together for a long time.”
This advice was told to me by an 80-year-old man who has been married 60 years! It’s great relationship advice, but it is also the secret to a long and happy marriage.
Talking to this man about his marriage made me realize that humans are multidimensional and that what is more interesting and important in a long-term relationship is what lies behind the first things we see, like looks and income and other material or superficial things. It has taught me some patience as well, because it does take a while to really get to know someone. And I also think it has made me understand that we are made up of our strengths and weaknesses, and I learned to not be hard on myself, or those I love and care for.
Compatibility depends on what you can tolerate and on what doesn’t annoy you, and that is all right too. I have learned to look very honestly at someone whom I might want to become involved with, and try to project less of my needs onto them, so I can see where we might not be compatible in a long-term situation. It has also allowed me to be more honest with who I am and with my own faults, because I want someone who loves me for my imperfections as well as my strengths.
5 thoughts on “Psychic Beverly: The Secret to 60 Successful Years of Marriage”
I enjoyed Beverly I use her last month and she told me something, but I didn’t call like she told me because I was scare of getting my feeling hurt.
Wonderful article Beverly, great insight for everyone in finding their mate.
so true !!!!
So true!!! When I met my partner, and I found out that he smokes, was quite bad for me cause I never see my self being around someone that smokes!! It is something that I just can’t deal with!! But I decided to try and after a few months I just realized that I was in love with a great guy and the only bad thing about him was that bad-habit!! I’m still with him, and im sure that my love is stronger than his bad habit, and I’m not trying to change him, it is up to him, quitting or not, I
Accept him and try to work it out!!
Good advice and totally correct. Before my wife passed away in 2011 we had been married for 35 years. We both had things that was hard to accept but all n all we learned to accept these little things about one another. It made for a not so exciting life but a good one together. My advice is don’t just accept your partner with limitations, you must accept good and bad as well. Example would be she’s not skinny or heavy enough, wealthy, poor, pretty enough. I’ll be honest as a man it’s nice to have eye candy on your arm but beauty is only skin deep. God forbid but if he or she were to be disfigured, lose a limb, have a mental disorder what would you do? Accept them for the good n bad or kick them to the curb. This has happened more often than if like to think but people have become cold. we’d all like to think it would never happen to us but it importantly happens.
Make a list of what you want in your relationship, if you have a partner wright the things that aggravate the you from small to real bad. Cross the ones off you can accept and live with. If anything remains see if you can live with them or not. You can only work on yourself, your partner may not change n probably can’t if they have been like this there whole life.
Good luck to all.