Relationships: What You See Is What You Get

Why do women want to change a man after they get into a relationship? Most humans have a desire to be in a loving and fulfilling relationship. We want to have peace, joy, and all manner of good things when being with our partner. At the core of our beingness is the knowledge that we are meant to be happy, and often this sense of wanting to be happy comes in the form of being with someone in a committed relationship.

First and foremost, in achieving a fabulous relationship an acceptance of oneself and a creation of learning to love oneself is a vital component. This concept is certainly not new, but it’s nice to have a quick reminder. Going on the premise of the Law of Attraction, acceptance and love of oneself is the key element in drawing similar frequencies into your life. Therefore, it’s extremely important to listen to your inner guidance system in the arena of establishing and living in a committed and loving relationship with yourself first.

However, for the sake of argument, say you haven’t quite achieved complete acceptance of yourself, and you find you’re looking outside of yourself for fulfillment. I want to stress that this is not necessarily a bad thing, because it happens all of the time. And being with another person can also be vital in recognizing areas that may need to be addressed for one’s personal growth.

In a love relationship, there are elements of attraction on both parts. While this is an obvious observation, it needs to be stated in order to get into the depth of why some people feel the need to change their partner once the relationship has been in place for a while.

It’s important to realize that the attributes that created the love relationship in the first place are still there. And it behooves you to keep those criteria in mind when you feel the need to dwell upon and point out less pleasant characteristics in your loved one. More than likely, the less-than-pleasant characteristics revealed themselves to you during the initial getting-to-know-each-other phase. If those characteristics bothered you at that time, know that this was your inner guidance system alerting to you to these elements so that you could discern whether these discrepancies were things you could live with or not. In other words, are they areas that make the person unique to himself (or herself), and do you accept them as such? Or are these warning signals telling you to run for the hills?

To ignore warning bell signals is to set yourself up for disappointment somewhere down the road, because if you go into the relationship thinking you can change the person from being who they are, then you are not on the right path for a loving relationship.

This type of behavior is quite common. I’m just here to remind you that it never behooves us to think we can get another person to adhere to being different than what they are. Mostly, the emphasis is in listening to your inner guidance about whether the characteristics are something you can accept and live with, or are the characteristics are an indicator that this is not the person for you.

Also, I’m a firm believer in not being subjected to violence or any type. Not just physical violence, but also emotional abuse. So, are the characteristics a warning to you and giving you awareness that there are traits within that might escalate into an abusive relationship?

But, if the traits are just small idiosyncrasies and mannerisms unique to the individual, then that is just an opportunity for you to allow the person to be themselves and love them for who they are. Being able to accept the uniqueness of your partner is so powerful and exceedingly loving.

In conclusion, when going into a relationship, it is wise to remember that what you see is what you get. A lot of heartache and pain can be eliminated by adhering to this policy.