Romancing the Home

It’s no secret. Healthy marriages grow pale, and relationships wane, without time to refuel and reconnect. Marriage therapists encourage weekly date nights. But how do you do that? The budget is strapped. The babysitter copped out. You’re both too tired to trip the light whatever. No worries – do it at home, in style. Plan ahead so that neither feels frazzled over last-minute details.

The default date – dinner and a movie – appeals to everyone. Modeling your evening after age-old traditions of simple foods and positive energies makes home sweet. Make a joint decision on a dreamy romantic film or a smolderingly sexy pick for rent or download. No shoot-‘em-ups, please.

Shop together for exotic, eye-appealing finger food. Garlic? Not this time. Consider soft, creamy spreads, like Brie or cream cheese with strawberries, on gourmet crackers or crisp breads. Buy a tray of freshly sliced fruits and vegetables. Choose delectable nutmeats. Don’t forget seafood. Peel and eat shrimp. Oysters, if you love them.

Choose the right beverage. Dark, fruity red wine is traditionally seductive, isn’t it? Or grape juice. Lush. Sweet. A decadent, beautiful dessert for two is essential. Now, it’s date night. Are you ready?

Set your bounty out on your prettiest dishes. Toss luxurious pillows all over the floor and do it in full Roman sensuality. Or put your most comfortable easy chairs side-by-side. Arrange mood lighting. Burn incense or use aromatherapy scents to encourage relaxation, awareness of each other, and passion. Now, slip into something that cries to be taken off. Put kids and pets to bed. Turn off phones. Prepare to ignore the doorbell. Take some deep, slow, cleansing breaths and relax your whole self.

Go whatever direction feels lovely, warm, and comfortable while you savor the simple pleasures of dining together. Watch light play against crystal glassware. Lose yourself in her eyes for a long moment before you select a bite of food. Feed him a delicate morsel. Touch hands. Sit close. Watch the movie as though it matters. Fall into the plot. Listen to sounds. Sink into flickering images. Be fully present in each moment.

Later, retire to your bedroom and make love if that’s the perfect ending, or snuggle together and drift into sleep, perchance to dream of each other. You’ll wait impatiently for your next date night, knowing it really isn’t about what you do or what you eat. The gold of those moments is in knowing that no matter how fast the rest of the world races, you have committed to savoring precious time with each other.

What are your favorite ways to create romance at home?