I get a lot of awesome ideas and inspiration from CP articles in the newsletter and on the blog. There were two recently – one on the blog by Psychic Faith ext. 9608 and a newsletter article titled Set Reasonable Goals: How to Manage Expectations – which helped me clarify something which I hadn’t thought of until a number of readings over the past 2+ years brought it to my attention.
What if some relationships are meant to be deep and intense, but temporary, sort of like the gift of a dozen roses or a bottle of exceptional scotch or whiskey?
I see this possibility in readings, especially for people who have just finished a difficult divorce or an abusive relationship. My Tarot tells me that there is a lovely and passionate relationship in the offing, but that it will be short-lived. Although I study traditional Tarot for personal development, I use James Wanless’ Voyager Tarot during readings, and in that deck he uses flowers to symbolize cups, expressing both the beauty and the transitory nature of emotions. The 1 of Cups is called Ecstasy, and when I get that in the “future” position, I know it means this kind of gift will be offered soon.
We don’t expect the roses to last forever, but we’re more than willing to revel in the fragrance or flavor or beauty of that kind of gift for as long as it lasts. The same goes for pets – we know at the outset that no matter how much we love them, we don’t get to have them around for all our lives.
Why aren’t we willing to do this in our love and sexual relationships? Certainly one big reason is that we rarely know going in that this magical time has an expiration date. Another reason is that few of us are willing to believe that there might be other possibilities as intense and wonderful as the relationship that’s over.
What would you do if you were offered a unique, once in a lifetime gift that you could keep for only a short time – say roses whose beauty and fragrance were unique in the world, or the opportunity to run a marathon and win big that marks the end of your running career rather than the beginning… or a magical relationship. What would you say? Wow, yes! Or no, thanks, I would be too unhappy when it’s over so I’ll just pass.
There is no pat answer that suits everyone. Personally, I’m one of the people described in that great quote that goes around the Internet every so often: “When I die, I want to go skidding up to the pearly gates, party hat askew, champagne in one hand, chocolate dipped strawberries in the other, shouting ‘Woooo-HOOOO, what a ride!” So, if it looks really delicious or sinfully enticing, even if I knew ahead of time I wouldn’t get to enjoy it for the rest of my life, I’d probably go for it.
What about you?
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19 thoughts on “Short, Intense Relationships”
you are absolutely right pau….I had the perfect relationshit….we were so insink with each other….never raised our voices to each other, never had a fight…just play fighting…when it was over i can remember tears in my eyes from laughing so much….totaly trusted each other for 5 years….we didn’t have any secrets….if i knew now about the pain I was going to go thru before the relationship started i would have never stayed with him it’s been 2 years and it still hurts!!….and I believe that every morning i wake for the rest of my life he is going to be the first thing I think of and it really sucks. I have someone now that loves me to death and is soooo caring and sweet…and I can give him my whole heart and it hurts me that i can’t because i might loose him because of it.
I have had way too many of these short lived passions in my life. I am with someone now, who I feel is my soulmate. I don’t want him to fade away like a rose past it’s prime, I don’t want to have a relationship like a pet. There are relationships that go on and the passion and love don’t fade. I don’t feel that I’m not alive feeling this way, in fact I feel more alive now than I ever have. My love is stronger and my passion deeper for this person than ever before in my life. It’s true we don’t know what is going to happen, but I don’t want a short lived sex-athon in place of a “relationship”. I feel there is so much instant gratification in this world, some things are meant to stand the test of time and get sweeter and better with it.
Well u have just let me know that im just going to get hurt all over again, but i was told that was going to happen anyway. So y even invest in someone that u could possibly fall madly in love with and knowing at the same time that ur going to get hurt. Its not worth the pain, so thank you for setting the record straight for me now.
I loved this article. Not many people take chances that are put in front of them. I have had an ongoing, on again off again secret relationship with a most wonderful man for over 15 years. The passion is unreal. And then we go back to our lives. No strings attached. I am on my 3rd marriage, my husband on his 5th.lol We were totally honest about other people in our lives and decided to live in an open marriage. With everything we have both been through with past relationships and lies, it just seemed like the most sensible thing to do. Sex and love are one thing, but sex is just that…Sex. It has made all the difference with the trust and love that is shared. No secrets. From one who loves to live outside the box!
it is so hard to start something so perfect where in in the very beginning you already know that it wont last forever and it has an expiration date….
Verbena, thank you for a wonderful article.
I have a secret ongoing ‘relationship’ and one more recent that, while i looked for the longevity in it, have come to realise there is a lot to learn from the intensity and not the time. I now realise when the time is right there will be another 🙂
I will take a mad, passionate love affair any day of the week instead of a marriage without love or caring. It means your’e alive instead of just exsisting…
I would too. What is life worth living that is not lived to the fullest? In the end, I would rather hve alot of then what happened was…… instead of I wonder what would have happened if…. Some were dissapointments some were mistakes but, I have LIVED. Not cowered in fear in the corner.
hi! ho would you know if it’s that kind of relationship? how could you let go of something so perfectly right and not get hurt and pained by it? how can you open yourself up again to love if you experienced pain with having to let go of something that was so right?
Thank you so much! I have been consumed by thoughts of a certain someone with whom a relationship may very well be going nowhere. (Seriously, even dreamed of it, and we are going nowhere so fast its like we are going backwards). I hate sitting on the knife edge of uncertainty and have a hard time believing that something like this will come along again, though it always has. Reading this I had one of those AHA! moments where everything seemed to click and that horrible nervous feeling is lessened by a lot. Now I can fight in a kickboxing match tomorrow with a fairly clear mind. This means the world, so I wanted to say thanks!
Dear Verbena:
Thank you for your lovely article. It actually brought a little tear to my eye when I read it, as I have had two secret “never meant to be forever” relationships in my life… The first was on and off for eight years and a complete growing experience for me… there were moments of intense passion and moments of intense hurt feelings… when the hurt outweighed the happiness by leaps and bounds, I knew it was time to turn the page and find new focus in my life… it was INCREDIBLY hard to let go, but with Shauna’s help and the love and support of a very dear girlfriend, I was able to move forward. That relationship actually led me to my second “gift” which was a very short and amazing connection with a soldier who was a beautiful and brave person… I am certain that we were lovers in a past life, and the universe was allowing us to “touch base” in this life… I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that “touch,” because Shauna helped me realize that it allowed me to move forward with my life in ways that I never would have imagined. I have been extremely blessed, and I always try to give something “back” to the universe in any way possible. Many thanks to YOU for putting in print what I have always believed in my heart.
It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Go ask that poor little wallflower sitting over there in the corner who has NEVER been even asked to dance; not even once. I’ve danced and enjoyed it.
Yes these experiences are like the roses that bloom and die. I’ve taken a sip from that glass of beautiful wine several times….but I’m still looking for the hand to hold when life goes wrong, the hug that puts you right when you’re down. I don’t regret my lovely encounters. I replay them in my mind when I lie alone in my bed on a cold winter night…….
AS FAR AS I;M CONCERNED WE ALL EXPECT SOMETHING FROM A RELATIONSHIP AND IT MAY BE A LONG AND LOVING ENDURING ONE FILLED WITH HAPPYINESS. IT’S NOT LIKE A SHORT LIVED OWNERSHIP OF A PET A PET COULD LET GO OF YOU AND RUN AWAY OR BE KILLED OUT IN THE STREETS BUT I SHOULD THINK THAT HUMANS WOULD EXPECT MUCH MORE FROM RELATIONSHIPS LIKE IN SOCIETY WE EXPECT OUR GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS TO DO THE RIGHT THING BUT DO THEY?
Hey Verbena,
Oh dear heart I have that too! Watches do not keep time very well on me either. I only wear them for shows. You my friend are sooooo good. That crystal is on the window above my kitchen sink in the sun right now eagle eye! I’ve decided to add half of that crystal and some other smalls pieces to my water in my office.
Mucho*Grande* Blessings
~Abigail~
Verbena,
Great article! I’m with you party hat and all LOL! Question I blew one of my crystals off my body again a few weeks ago. I’m sad it was one of my favorites it broke in half. I would super clue it yet I feel funny about doing that. What do you suggest my crystal friend that I do with it. I did that at work in the corporate field once and it freaked a few people out. A employee literally caught the crystal. That one was an Amazonite.
Many Blessings
~Abigail~
Great insights Verbena! I often tell callers to focus on the quality of the moment, not on the quantity, which equates to permanence. When we live in the future, we are missing the present, which sabotages the future. All we ever really have are those moments. Best regards.
Verbena,
Great article! I agree that some short, intense relationships-whether they be romantic or friendships-can be a step forward for us in our lives or an important, positive lesson about some aspects of ourselves.
It’s a very personal decision whether or not to experience a short, intense relationship or friendship. Is the person making the decision emotionally ready to deal with “not for ever”? Does the short, intense experience have enough to offer that it shouldn’t be missed-like a gorgeous sunset or sunrise?
Once again, great article,
Thanks,
Maryanne
Ext. 9146
Verbena, I’ll take a bouquet of flowers anyday! When I look back at some of my short, ‘sweet’ and intense”, I see wonderful experiences that I’m grateful for, like little pearls strung together one by one. Love seeing you here, great article!
Blessings, Faith – 9608