Should You Speed Date?

Speed Dating and Why You Should Try It

Speed dating has gotten a bad rap, and while many of you reading this may have never heard the term, it’s very popular among today’s ‘tweens, teens, and twenty-somethings. To the younger generation, speed dating is a summative term referring to dating someone for a very short period of time and cutting them loose just as quickly instead of making excuses for behaviors or waiting around, quickly moving on to the next. While this may sound like a brutal way to date, the ideology behind it is actually quite refreshing. Today’s generation realizes there’s no shortage of potential mates, and instead of sticking with someone they don’t much care for, they have enough courage to keep moving forward, with a sense of knowing that eventually they’ll find the “right one.” They’re not into wasting time!

Love at first sight, or developing intense feelings of love for another in roughly less than an hour, is something many of us believe happens only in the movies. In real life, love at first sight really does occur, though usually only to those who believe it’s possible—which accounts for approximately two-thirds of the US population. Even more amazing is the fact that over 50 percent of couples who experienced love at first sight actually got married, and over 70 percent stay married. These statistics may be surprising, or a tad suspicious, though they are derived quantifiably from Earl Naumann’s fifteen-hundred in-depth personal interviews, published in the book Love at First Sight: The Stories and Science Behind Instant Attraction.

How many of us can take a look at our present relationship, or a string of past ones, and honestly admit that we wasted too much time waiting around for that person to do something? My answer is too many! Life is not meant to be wasted by languishing or pining for someone else to do anything to or for us. It’s our job to take life by the horns, and this includes dating—and ultimately selecting our potential semi-permanent/permanent mate. If we’re objective, it doesn’t take long to pick up signs and symptoms that Tom, Dick, or Jane doesn’t march to the right drum. Why torture yourself playing the waiting game, hoping Mr. or Mrs. Right will come out of left field, and Happily Ever After you go? It’s crazy!

If you’re in a place in your life where you’re ready to settle down with someone, don’t sabotage yourself or your future by hanging on to one that’s not worth his or her lick in salt because you’re afraid no one else will come along. To do this is very much the Kiss of Death for your future relationship happiness! Give yourself a strong dose of the Truth, which IS that you are very worthy, awesome, special and uniquely attractive, and there’s not just one or two out there in the dating pool that could be a great fit—there are infinitely more. Get out and socialize, get online dating subscriptions, and let friends fix you up. By no means stay close to your couch—get out and meet people.

Individuals who possess a strong understanding of dating, relationships and the process of natural selection are way ahead of us in the game. They realize that time is of the essence, and don’t take it personally when they temporarily connect with the “wrong” one, and happily move forward to the next possibility. Now I’m not encouraging anyone to go out, meet people in bars and have a series of one night stands, but, if you’re serious about meeting someone for a great, long lasting relationship, you have to do something different than what you’ve done in the past if it’s not working for you! Anyone you meet isn’t going to be a perfect fit, but if the energy seems good, the possibility becomes encouraging.

Look at dating as a trial-and-error process. Give yourself the opportunity to meet different kinds of people out there, especially if you’re having trouble getting specific on the qualities you’d like a potential partner to have. Things happen in magical ways when we least expect them!

What this means for you is that you should only be unhappy if you think you deserve it, and if you believe you’re destined to be alone, you will be. Like our statistics about love at first sight, say, it really does occur. So my advice is to stop waiting around for more of the same-old thing, and take your dating life by the horns. It doesn’t take long to connect and click with someone, and if the one’s you’ve already seen just aren’t “doing it” for you, on to the next!

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