Stop the Engagement!

Bob writes:

I was engaged to Sally last December. We had sex twice before I gave her the ring. After we set the date, she decided we shouldn’t have sex again until we were married. She says it will be better for our relationship, but I’m not sure. She has a loser ex with a crappy job and no money, and she used to talk about how great their sex life was. Maybe I’m just jealous, but I hate that they are still friends and he calls her all the time. She won’t ask him to stop now that we’re engaged because she says she feels bad for him. Should I trust her?

Dear Bob,

It is often the case that people remain in contact with former lovers, and this contact can very well be purely platonic. However, in this case, I sense that you do indeed have a great deal to fear. Sally is still quite enamored with her former lover, and more than likely she is maintaining a physical relationship with him. Watch for her working late, weekends away with ‘friends,’ and all-day shopping trips.

One of the most tragic mistakes made in relationships is a partnering of two people with mismatched sexual chemistry. Sally might really believe that waiting until you are married will benefit your future relationship, but one must surely ponder the timing of her sudden decision since you’d already had sex a few times. Unfortunately, my friend, what I see is that Sally isn’t attracted to you sexually. I’m afraid you just don’t do it for her. Despite his flaws, her ex does. However, he can’t support her in the lifestyle she enjoys. It’s really no one’s fault, and there’s no need to become hostile toward your fiancee. She does care about you. She fights with herself and wants to make you happy, but she never will.

I advise you to break off the engagement as soon as possible. There is someone out there who be a better match for you. While you’re waiting for her to come along, you would do well to get some counseling to help you work through your feelings of loss and betrayal. Go ahead and allow yourself your anger, but save yourself from this bigger mistake.

Blessings,

Psychic Liam