Stop Worrying About Men

Reasons why it’s a waste of your time

Whether it’s the guys already in your life or “the one” you’re hoping will soon come into it, every (straight) woman (and gay man) knows what it feels like to stress out about men. Will he call? Is he cheating? Why won’t he pick up his shoes – or tell me how he feels? All of these are common questions that can plague our minds, tying our stomachs (and hearts) into knots. The truth is, though, that they shouldn’t. Here are three reasons why you should stop worrying about men:

The vicious cycle
Worry is a useless emotion. If you find yourself sensing that something is off – and being torn up about it – don’t mull it over and over, analyzing the situation until you drive yourself nuts. Do something! The best way to calm your concerns (preferably before they turn into obsessions!) is to address them head on. Otherwise, you’re just inviting more uncertainty. After all, the universe responds to our thoughts and energies. So if you’re sitting around stressing out about what he may or may not be feeling or doing, you’re actually creating the problem yourself!

The power of instinct
We may not all be psychic, but everyone has the power of intuition. And even if your connection to your inner voice needs some fine tuning, there’s no doubt that you have a sense of things… otherwise, you wouldn’t be worrying in the first place. Thus, if you have a sneaking suspicion, say, that the guy you like is lying to you or isn’t that into you, one of two things is likely going on. First, you’re right, and you should trust your gut. Second, your self-esteem and personal patterns aren’t allowing you to properly assess the situation. Either way, all the worrying in the world won’t help you, and if the latter is true, it’ll only make things worse! If you’re right, let it go (or at least confront it). And if you’re not sure, seek counseling instead of stressing yourself out!

The bottom line
Finally, no man (or woman, for that matter) finds insecurity sexy. Whether you know it or not, worrying about men is a sign that you don’t feel as good as you should about yourself. It’s not that we don’t all get concerned now and again that something is wrong in our relationships, but if you allow concerns to snowball into serious stressors instead of speaking your truth and then accepting the answers you’re given (in words and actions – whether they’re what you want to hear or not), you’re not acting from your own highest good… And if you don’t have your own highest good in mind (and in practice), who will? You definitely won’t win any admirers by bottling it up or allowing yourself to be a doormat. Rather than worrying yourself crazy about someone else’s feelings or actions, focus instead on being your best you. Remember that you will not live or die by any man’s feelings towards you – positive or negative – and recognize that YOU have the ultimate power in your life, no one else. Now take that power back!