Submarine Commander Fakes His Own Death to Escape Mistress!

The Most Over-the-Top Way to Dodge the Consequences of an Affair Ever?

Now here’s a story: a submarine commander who cheated on his wife with a younger mistress has (unsuccessfully, obviously) faked his own death to get away from the woman he cheated with—afterwards finding out she was pregnant! He has now been kicked out of the Navy.

Via Wired:

Ending a romantic affair by faking your own death is usually a bad idea for — I don’t know — everyone. What’s an even worse idea? Faking your own death weeks before taking command of the Navy’s nuclear submarine U.S.S. Pittsburgh. Now you can read the Navy’s internal report that tells the sordid story…

The story, first reported by the Connecticut newspaper The Day, began last October, when Ward met a 23-year-old woman from Virginia — whose name was redacted from the report — on a dating website. They began to have an affair. Ward was married and had children, but didn’t reveal that to his mistress. At the time, Ward worked for the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and the two saw each other when he came down for classes at the Joint Forces Staff College. He also communicated with her over e-mail using the phony name “Tony Moore,” and falsely told her he was a special forces operator.

In June, Ward apparently wanted out of the affair. So he — in a striking further display of bad judgement — concocted another false identity, this time a supposed friend named “Bob,” and sent an e-mail telling his mistress that he had died, according to the report. ”He asked me to contact you if this ever happened,” the e-mail said, according to The Day. “I am extremely sorry to tell you that he is gone. We tried everything we could to save him. I cannot say more. I am sorry it has to be this way.”

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Three days later, the woman drove from her home in Chesapeake to Ward’s house in Burke, Virginia to pay her respects. Instead, she was greeted by a new owner who told the family that Ward “had not actually died, but rather had moved to Connecticut to take command of a U.S. Navy submarine,” the report said.

What’s the craziest way you’ve ever heard of somebody trying to get out of the consequences of an affair?

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