The Art of Fighting Fair

“Don’t assume that people you meet know who you are. Teach them, tell them, show them you are not like everyone else,” persuasively states Ciarra ext. 8624. The psychic Tarot reader with 30 years of experience says, “You’ve got to be proactive. Refuse to allow anyone, especially new lovers, to make decisions about you based on their past relationships.”

After a two-year platonic friendship and a year involved as an on-again-off-again couple, Jane (not her real name) grew frustrated with the stalemate arguments she and her lover Jack (not his real name) constantly had. The arguments were over intimacy – she would get close and he would pull away. The drama was overwhelming and she feared every fight would be their last. Plus, the fights were always the same. They weren’t learning from them. So she called Ciarra for insight. “Will this relationship last?” she asked.

Ciarra, never one to mince words, told the single mother who seemed to have everything going for her financially and spiritually that the answer was yes – with reservations!

“I felt they had a past life connection, that they were bonded, but Jane needed to know that the road would be bumpy for them for a long, long time. I couldn’t sugarcoat the situation and luckily Jane didn’t delude herself into believing that they would make it without some very intense cleanup.”

Jane told Ciarra that Jack was the very first man she met in her 45 years that she believed was worth fighting for. She knew him well enough to understand that he would back off as soon as he felt she was getting too connected to him. Ciarra believed this was a fear-based reaction to his devastating divorce and several relationships which had also ended badly for him. She also saw that Jack was a big baby who would storm off whenever they locked horns, shutting Jane out of his life, turning off his phone and not answering his door. Jane’s reaction was also childish. She would call him incessantly after they fought, bang on his door or plant herself on his front porch begging for some response.

“I told them that the first thing they needed to do was to find a new way of disagreeing,” tells Ciarra, who often spoke to both of them in the last three years. “They needed to learn how to listen, allow each other space, and talk about what they wanted and expected in the relationship without these important discussions becoming never-ending dramas.”

Initially when Jane called Ciarra she wanted Jack and his two children to move in with her. She has a beautiful home and she was willing to share it. She couldn’t understand why he preferred to live in his rental, just minutes away. Though Jack, by his actions, appeared to be committed to Jane, he said he was only interested in being friends with benefits.

Over time they really got to know each other and the motivation behind their needs. They may not agree, reports Ciarra, but they allow each other an opinion, without getting crazy over their differences. They have become an awesome family unit and the kids are invested in the relationship, too, as they spend vacations and holidays together as a blended family. They still maintain separate homes, but right now they both seem content, the Tarot reader reports. “Jack now tells me that he is dedicated to Jane, her son and their relationship.”

“The thing that they couldn’t see, but the cards kept showing me for a very long time,” reveals Ciarra, “is that Jane was afraid Jack wouldn’t love her, and Jack was afraid that he would!”

Ciarra feels terrific that she has been able to guide their relationship into a workable union. They actually did all the hard work themselves, she says, but they trusted her and did not feel she was taking sides when she made her revelations during their readings. Ciarra sees that some day they will live together.

“Creating a healthy relationship and combining families takes a lot of work,” reports Ciarra, “but in the case of Jane and Jack, it has proven to be well worth the effort.”