The Best Thing to Do for You

After a Breakup… and Before Your Next Romance

Do not think of a breakup as a bitter end; think of it as a new beginning! Use your new free time to reinvent yourself, and do some personal spring cleaning before you enter the dating pool again. Take this chance to learn from your past relationships and do things differently so your next love match will lead you both to that happily ever after.

After four failed relationships of two to four years each, and one right after the other, I committed myself to a year of being single, dating different types of men, and working on my personal development. Here is a lengthy list of what I did, big and small, that led me to be more content with myself and then to find the man of my dreams. Hopefully, some of these tips may help you get through your own love transition:

1. Gather all your ex’s things and return them nicely. Before the return, contact your ex with a list of all your items you need back as well. Have a friend go with when you make the exchange. Be sure to get your keys back if you gave him/her a copy.

2. Post that you are “Single” on Facebook and wait for all the “likes” to pour in!

3. Make a “Bucket List” of places you want to go, thing you want to do, and places you want to eat at. Share this with people to see which friends have common interests and will chip away at that list with you.

“Trust is so important in relationships and it can be a deal breaker when trust has been broken.” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435

4. Plan something fun to do at least once a week. For example, I tried Bikram Yoga for the first time, I drove to the Camarillo Outlets for a day of shopping, and I bought a Betta fish. So many options!

5. Get a new hairstyle and color that matches your newfound freedom.

6. Read one or more of the following books, which I highly recommend because they demystify the dating world:

a. Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov
b. He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo
c. The Game by Neil Strauss
d. The Beast in the Jungle by Henry James

7. Pick up a new hobby. I started bowling and even bought a bowling ball. Choose a hobby that will get you out of the house and give you something interesting to discuss on first dates.

8. Reconnect with your old friends from high school and college.

“When you love the other more than yourself, the relationship is doomed. Love yourself first.” – Psychic Charrmayne ext. 5058

9. Consider a tattoo or piercing. My personal rule is to only get a tattoo after wanting it for over six months.

10. Buy some new bras and undies.

11. Make a list of all the qualities you want your next mate to have. Mine includes the usual: intelligent, funny, tall, protective, masculine, loving, honest, and supportive. Update your list regularly.

12. Create a free dating profile at OkCupid.com or PlentyOfFish.com. Keep your profile very short and sweet. Post plenty of pictures that accurately represent your body type and face.

13. Call a psychic to inquire about your romantic prospects and to see how you can make better use of your single time.

14. Keep moving forward in your life. Save up for a home, apply for college/career programs, plan a vacation… Your life does not stop after a breakup. In fact, this can be a fresh start to pursue new adventures.

As you can see, there are so many things you can do after a break up that will help you get over your ex and welcome a new mate. Just remember not to repeat the past and to create the future that you desire!

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