The Other Woman Who Makes Him Smile

Your Monster-in-Law

There can be many types of “other women” in your man’s life. But here we are talking about that considerably powerful one who brought your man into this world, and might be able to take him out of yours. Good old mom can be both a blessing and a barrier in your relationship. Her relationship with your man could make you jealous, or you could see it as a blessing.

Does He Idolize Mom, but Treat You Like a Regular Jane?

Some women feel competitive with their mother-in-laws. The biggest problem is when his mother seems to have dibs over your guy’s attention. Luckily, most men have room in their heart for their mothers and their wives. View his mother as the woman who taught him to treat you well. Men who cherish their mothers are almost always better husbands than the ones who have little respect for mom. This is one way a mother-in-law can make both of you smile. Your mother-in-law doesn’t have to come between you and your spouse. Get tips from Taylor ext. 5322 on how to make the other woman in his life your ally, and not your enemy.

Can He Make Decisions Without Consulting Mom?

Your parents should have little say in your life once you move out. If your guy is letting mom call the shots, kindly remind him that three’s a crowd. Some experts throw a red flag at any son who talks to mom regularly. They say he is probably telling her everything, and creating a strong case of TMI (Too Much Information). In reality, as long as his mother understands her boundaries, a close relationship on the phone does not mean your guy is under the influence, or that he will one day have her stuffed, and placed in a rocking chair next to the bed.

Never-the-less, just because your guy has a healthy relationship with his mom doesn’t necessarily mean you should be happy about it. In fact, you may feel a little jealous at times. Here are a few things you can do to put that little green, beady-eyed monster behind bars. I’m talking about your jealousy—not his mother!

The Myth of the Mama’s Boy

Since the early 1900s, experts have theorized that a mama’s boy will grow up wimpy, sexually confused and doused with insecurity. This influenced some mothers to wean their sons from their apron strings out of concern for their well-being. However, guess what happened? According to studies, some of these men grew up to be overly aggressive and clinically depressed. Isn’t that worse than being a mamma’s boy? If a man has a successful relationship with his mom, he is more likely to develop a successful relationship with a woman in the future. The question is, how can you compete with such a powerful influence over his life?

Do Not Criticize

It rarely does any good to criticize your guy about his relationship with his mother. If a mother-in-law is causing trouble in your relationship, the best way to handle it is to allow her to dig her own grave. You don’t want to be seen as the troublemaker. You want to be the concerned wife who is trying her best to be understanding their relationship. In the end, most moms just want their sons to be successful, independent and happy. She’ll figure things out for herself, and if she doesn’t, you still have one very powerful piece of advice you can put to work for you.

Keep Your Friends Close, and Your Mother-in-Law Even Closer

Many mother-in-laws who lock horns with their daughter-in-law really don’t have anything against them, other than the threat of the unknown. As Bugs Bunny says, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.” The best thing you can do with a mother-in-law who is suffocating your relationship is to take time to get to know her. There are several things that can come from this. One, you will both realize that you have the same goal at heart—to make her son happy. Two, you may also get an idea of why she is so desperate for her son’s attention. With this understanding, you may even grow closer to her, which will take some of the weight off his shoulders, giving him more time to focus on you. Don’t put your guy in the middle of your battle with his mother. There is a better way. Sonja has the tools you need to make peace once and for all.

In truth, rarely is a mother-in-law an evil toad. She is probably just lonely, frightened and trying to feel needed. By understanding and respecting her, you place yourself in a strong position to negotiate your man’s time and attention in return for your own separate lives.