Things Every Man (and Woman) Should Know

Each man has his own vault of valuable secrets he collects throughout his life. It could be said that most men have at least one priceless piece of information to offer other men through his unique viewpoint and experiences. If we could somehow collect all this information and share it with the men all over the world, just imagine the advantage it would provide them. Several months back, I posted a request asking people from all walks of life to send me their most valuable advice they have collected over their lifetime, and these are my favorites.

Jamie Reidy, author of Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman and Bachelor 101: Cooking + Cleaning = Closing.

– Learn how to tie a bow tie. Everybody has to wear a tux at some point. Clip-on bow ties are all identical. Why not express confidence, individuality and don’t-you-wonder-what-else-I-know-how-to-do?

– Learn to make a good grill cheese. There will come a rainy weekend when all she wants to do is sit on the couch and watch movies. A perfect day for grilled cheese and tomato soup. Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to leave and buy sandwiches?

Phil Hotsenpiller, teaching pastor for Yorba Linda Friends Church, and co-author of the Passionate Lives and Leaders series.

– We have become a society of acquaintances and connections. How many of your friends qualify at a level where they would be there no matter what? If you’re married, one of those friends better be your wife. Expand this caliber of friend until you’ve achieved at least five.
– The problem with heroes and superstars is they have a time span and can disappoint you. Everybody needs somebody permanent (faith, spirituality) who will be there for them when nobody else is around.

Michael Ray Smith, Professor of Communication Studies, Campbell U,, near Raleigh, N.C.
Author of Free Press, Freehand
– Every time we don’t answer an e-mail or let a phone call go unreturned and, in general, ignore others, we are telling them something. Often what we are saying is that the person doesn’t matter enough for us to be vigilant about their message.

Garret M. Kramer, Inner Sports, LLC
– Your view on life has nothing to do with your circumstances and everything to do with your state of mind at that particular moment.
– The more still your mind is, the more powerful you are.

Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos.com, author of Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose
– Be true to yourself.
– Approach every situation (or person) with an open mind.
– It’s easier to seek forgiveness than permission.

Elliott Katz, author of Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants
– One of women’s biggest complaints is that men don’t show their share of leadership in the relationship. When a man sees a situation that needs to be dealt with, he should step forward and handle it.
– Take responsibility for improving the situation. Don’t blame others. There is little sympathy for a man who blames a woman, even when he thinks she pushed him into it.

Kami Gray, personal stylist, author of The Denim Diet
– Men should ditch the “Dad” jeans and the “trying too hard” jeans. Dad jeans come up too high on your waist, they are too light in color, and they are too baggy. The “trying too hard” jeans are skinny jeans (unless you’re skinny, under 30, and in a rock band), and jeans with pocket bling, stone-washing, and fade spots (unless you’re a nightclub owner or live in Las Vegas).

David Couper, career coach and consultant, author of Outsiders on the Inside: How to Create a Winning Career… Even When You Don’t Fit In!
– A perfect resume is not going to get you a perfect job.
– Most interviewers are not good at interviewing.
– The best person doesn’t always get the job.

Rosalea Hostetler, founder and president of The Balmer Fund
– Because women’s voices have a higher pitch, they simply cannot hear everything a woman says. Men hear about every third or fourth word in a conversation, and invent the rest they don’t catch.

Robert A. Hall, author of The Good Bits, Chaos for Breakfast, and CYA: Protecting Yourself in the Modern Jungle
– Everyone spends far too much time worrying about things that won’t happen.
– A woman’s looks are like dessert—nice at the moment, but you can’t live on a dessert diet.

Jim Duzak, “The Attorney at Love,” former divorce lawyer turned mediator, author of Mid-Life Divorce and the Rebirth of Commitment
– If you can work a lot of little “positives” into your everyday dealings with your wife or girlfriend, there probably won’t be many negatives to deal with down the road.
– With women, foreplay (sex) ideally begins hours earlier in the form of smiles, nice words, and frequent non-sexual touches (touching her shoulders, etc).

Milan Heger, author of The Art of Freedom
– Go extra miles to find your passion (sometimes by finding out what you hate). Make it your life.
– Plan your life, not work. Do your work, but plan your free time, vacations, places to see.
– Find out where your place is on the planet. Travel, and move around until you know something feels right.
– Learn to say NO. Practice saying no to whatever makes you sick to your stomach.