To Single-it, or Duet?

Single Can Be Better

I have what some may call a unique perspective on relationships. If we were always supposed to be in a relationship, or if relationships were supposed to last forever, our Creator would certainly have attached our perceived “soul mate” to us physically, from birth forward. To sum things up in a nutshell, if we truly needed another to enjoy the best life has to offer, we would be gifted with the provision, never to worry it may some day leave us. Everything we truly need is already within – not outside of us. Remind yourself of this when you have a weak moment!

Living the single life has its pros and cons, though in the midst of it, it’s easy at times to get caught up in daydreaming about the perfect relationship, or one that comes close. Once in a while you may find yourself thinking you are a tad (or more) lonely, and that life will be so much better once you finally meet the “one.” You may even have no interest whatsoever when it comes to pursuing relationships at this point in your life, but everyone around you may be pressuring you to. Whatever the case, one thing is for certain: We do not require a relationship to be happy, or to enjoy life to its fullest.

Bonuses on the single front are many, though here are a few of the “biggies”:

Less guilt, compromises, and/or sense of obligation. In a relationship, even the toughest cookie sometimes feels the pressures of needed compromise, obligation and guilt for not measuring up to standards, and those more sensitive can easily become overwhelmed trying to be what s/he thinks the partner wants, expects and needs. This is a lot of work, and requires self-sacrifice and a sense of common ground between two people, which is also a lot of work.

Being single provides a relatively unfettered highway to more fully move beyond previous relationship traumas, reprioritize our lives, make new goals and institute needed steps to achieve them.

One less person we have to deal with that sometimes drives us crazy makes for a more peaceful life. Even with the best of intentions, lines of communication get crossed, mixed signals sent and feelings get hurt. Yes, relationships can be great, but most resemble a roller coaster just a bit too much. We all need some quiet “sane time” at some point.

Learning to be alone provides the perfect platform to really get in touch with who you really are, what you want, what you don’t want, and where you want to be. Without meaning to, whenever we spend time with others, we tend to pick up on attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, etc. that don’t really belong to us. If we are unable to be alone with ourselves and at least be content, chances are, when a relationship does come along, we won’t be content with that either, no matter how great it really is – or could be. Also, learning to be alone now may be your saving grace down the road, when for whatever reason you find yourself unexpectedly solo.

So here’s the thing: Don’t fall into the trap of believing that the grass is greener, or that two really is better than one. As with anything in life, everything has it’s pros and cons, black and white areas, and shades of gray. The universe provides a very keen balance among all forces, and relationships are no different. There is no such thing as one thing being inherently better than another, because at the core of every dynamic, there is equilibrium and things just “are what they are.” Nothing more, nothing less… Our perceptions of that which “is” becomes the driving force for our experiences, and is typically the one stone we leave “unturned” as we analyze and rationalize the forces at work in our lives (and often wonder where we took a wrong turn).

Our personal perception on what “is” or “isn’t” is the primary factor as to whether or not we feel satisfied, blessed and grateful with what we’ve got. So whether it’s just you, or you have chosen two, it’s important to really allow yourself time and space to examine your thoughts and beliefs so that you can chart your own truly fulfilling journey instead of being dragged along through muddy currents. Yes, our experience here is supposed to serve the purpose of learning, growing, sharing and growing through connections forged with others, though when we haven’t done our own “work” in this respect, we cut ourselves short in terms of what we can potentially experience, and accomplish with others that cross our paths.

“Seeing within changes one’s outer vision.” – Joseph Chilton Pierce

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