Warning Signs You’re Being Too Clingy and What to Do Instead

Wanting to be around your significant other all the time isn’t necessarily a bad thing. After all, you love the person; you should want to spend time with him or her. However, it’s possible to take this a step too far and become socially and emotionally dependent on your partner—to the point that you may end up getting classified as clingy. Clinging to your partner is not only annoying for him or her and for those around you, it also puts you in an awkward position of becoming reliant on your partner’s affirmation and attention for your mental wellbeing. And when you’re clingy, being responsive and loving may be the last thing on your partner’s mind since he or she will likely feel smothered.

So, to keep you from verging into clingy territory, here are some of the warning signs you’re becoming way too needy of your partner.

You No Longer Have Your Own Interests

While it’s normal for you and your partner to pick up some of each other’s interests over time, from watching football on Sundays to doing yoga, you should each have your own sets of hobbies. If you’ve realized that you’ve given up or lost touch with your favorite activities, and instead have adopted all of your partner’s favorite things to do as your own, you might be becoming clingy. By taking on your partner’s interests, you’ve guaranteed that you’ll spend even more time together, which isn’t always a good thing. Don’t lose sight of what you love to do. Your unique interests make you a more dynamic and interesting person, and the time and space you spend away from your partner will allow you to continue growing on your own so you have something of value to bring to the table when you come back together.

You Get Nervous When Your Partner Wants to Do Things Without You

Just like you and your partner should have your own interests, you should also have your own social lives. Even if your friend group overlaps, your partner may want to spend time with his or her BFF—just the two of them—and if this is a problem for you, you’re a bit too dependent on your significant other. Both of you need time away from each other to nurture your other relationships. It’s what will keep you both sane in the end. So, be sure to spend time with your friends, or just by yourself, instead of reserving every moment for your partner.

You Shy Away from Social Engagements That Don’t Involve Your Partner

On a related note, you may be apt to turn down invitations from friends, family members or coworkers if they want to hang out with just you and not your partner—and this is a sure sign that you’ve become too clingy. Not being able to be social without your significant other is a warning sign that you no longer can stand on your own as an independent person, which can be detrimental to you and to your relationship over time.

You Tend to Only Make Plans If Your Partner Has Already Made Plans

Perhaps you are social with people other than your significant other. However, it’s only when your partner has already occupied him or herself with alternative plans. Being always available to your partner is a sign of clinginess and only hanging out with your friends because your partner is doing so can be a destructive pattern. It may get to the point that if your partner’s plans fall through, you may be apt to cancel yours, too, which will surely irk your pals and start negatively affecting your relationships.

You Constantly Feel the Need to Check In With Your Partner

Touching base about what time you might be home or where you’re heading for the night is one thing, but continuously checking in with your partner about his or her whereabouts multiple times over the course of an evening is another thing entirely. When you’re too clingy, you’re not able to allow your significant other to enjoy him or herself when he or she is out with people other than you. This can lead to your partner thinking there’s a lack of trust in the relationship, or that you’re too dependent on your relationship. Either way, this can lead to major issues between you.