We Didn’t Have Sex, But We Cheated

What Really Constitutes Infidelity?

In committed relationships, both partners agree to exclusivity, dedicating themselves to that special person. Unfortunately, perspective is everything, and some people possess an amazing ability to rationalize away many types of inappropriate behavior. When it comes to infidelity, some may even consider the act to be open to interpretation, but blurring those lines can be a slippery slope indeed.

Line in the Sand

Every relationship is unique, with agreed upon boundaries, comfort zones, and expectations. While having sex with someone else is commonly agreed upon as cheating on your partner, other areas may be viewed simply as shades of gray. A couple of good questions to ask yourself are: “would this hurt my partner?” and “does this put distance in the relationship?” If your actions would be hurtful to your partner if discovered, or if they created secrets or disloyal thoughts between you two, you probably shouldn’t be doing it.

The Forbidden Fruit

Opening yourself up to another person in a potentially physical or emotional manner when you are in a committed relationship is probably asking for trouble. Not only is it a setup for temptation, it can easily create the “want what you can’t have” scenario. Every relationship has its strengths and weaknesses, and it’s easy to focus on what someone else has to offer while ignoring what they might be lacking. If you are going to judge your relationship, make sure to do it fairly and honestly. Acting on your attraction to this other person by allowing physical intimacy, even if it is not sex, is a form of cheating on your partner, unless you have agreed to an open relationship. Relationships are about the shared physical with emotional intimacy, exclusively, so if you share that with others, you are crossing that boundary line.

“Embark on an active journey to see what romantic potentials may await.” – Althea ext. 9582

The Grass May Be Greener

If you still feel that this person can offer more than your current partner, then you’ll need to own up to that and make the right decision for your relationship. While it’s ok to be curious and investigate all that is out there in terms of compatibility (especially if you have had concerns about your current relationship), always be honest with yourself about your motivations. If after careful thought you reach a conclusion, then be strong enough to act on your findings instead of lingering in a resentful and damaging relationship where you or your partner feel you were unfaithful.

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