How to “Win” a Breakup in 4 Steps

Win a Breakup With Health, Happiness and Success

Some people think winning a breakup means being the one holding the to-go bag. In other words, being the dumper (partner who initiates the breakup), rather than the one who got dumped. Some people will even go out of their way to be the first to deliver the message. However, the truth is that winning a breakup has absolutely nothing to do with who initiated it. It’s actually more about who is able to find their way back to where they were before they met their ex. And even better, the one who wins is healthier, happier and more successful after the breakup. Here’s how you start:

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Step One: Give Yourself Permission to Be Happy

There are some very scientific reasons why breakups are so painful. We are not here to argue about that. Rather, we are here to discover better ways to deal with that pain. Happiness is a decision; not a lucky happenstance. Look to the future rather than the past, and be good to yourself. Take some time to meditate, call up a good friend or return to a hobby you’ve neglected while you were in a relationship.

Step Two: Don’t Get Entangled in the “Who Finds a New Relationship First” Game

Soon after the breakup, there may be a race to find your next relationship first. Or, maybe your ex left you for a new love. If they have, you may feel as if you’re behind in the love race. Relax! Let’s go back to step one. The true winning attitude of a breakup is discovering that you are the pilot in charge of your own happiness. Relying on someone else to bring you confidence and joy is a losing plan. Don’t allow panic to land you in just any relationship or even deeper into one that you might be a little unsure of.

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Step Three: Don’t Be Found Guilty of Trying too Hard

We are all blessed with the ability to see through people who pretend to be something they are not. You can recognize it in other people, and most likely, they can recognize it in you, so stop trying to fool them. No one is falling for it—especially you ex. If you really want to show your ex that you are fine and have moved on with your life, just keep doing whatever it is that you would normally do.

Step Four: Use the Renewed Freedom to Become Better Than Ever

Sure, there are cases where a partner falls apart after a breakup, but there are also numerous cases where one excels beyond what they ever thought possible. Now, to be clear, I am not talking about the partners who openly display on social media that their lives are better than ever. I am talking about the ones who make personal decisions to set new goals that will truly benefit their lives, such as going back to school, getting on a new or better career path, or training for a marathon they never had the guts to do before.

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Lifting the Heavy Baggage

Look at the heavy baggage weighing on a troubled relationship (Any relationship is troubled if one partner is wanting to get out of it!). When that baggage is lifted, people are energized with a renewed spirit of desire and passion that enables them to reach beyond what they would have been able to do had they stayed in their troubled relationship. In other words, seize the moment!

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In the end, the winning partner is not the one who appears to be the least bothered by the breakup. Rather, they are the one who learned the most from the breakup. The partner who reclaimed their own happiness, continued with their life as normal, and utilized some of that positive energy to strive just a little beyond their norm is the clear winner!